Political correctness- Thanks Marge and Ken!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES. '



You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.



And, furthermore. ..




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -

She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

(Loved this one!)



3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -

She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '




4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -

She is a

'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'




5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'




6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:




1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...

He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'




2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'




3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '




4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'




5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS ' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

(Loved this one!)




6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's


'REAR CLEAVAGE.