Irish Alsheimers Thanks Clay Vice!

Irish Alzheimers











Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"



Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."



The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."



With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

Right vs. left... Thanks Bob Looney!

I have often wondered why it is that Conservatives are called the “right” and Liberals are called the “left.”





By chance I stumbled upon this verse in the Bible:







“ The heart of the wise inclines to the right,



but the heart of the fool to the left .”





Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)







Thus sayeth the Lord. Amen.





Can't get any simpler than that.

The ark... Thanks Sarah Taylor

I receive such lovely FW's from such lovely and good friends.  I am just one of those lucky people!

Sam

The Ark



I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and I

love today.







Noah's Ark

: Everything I need to

know, I learned from Noah's Ark

.



ONE:

Don't miss the boat.

TWO:

Remember that we are all in the same

boat!

THREE:

Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah

built the Ark.

FOUR:

Stay fit. When you're 60 years old,

someone may ask you to do something really

big.

FIVE:

Don't listen to critics; just get on with the

job that needs to be done.

SIX:

Build your future on high

ground.

SEVEN:

For safety's sake, travel in

pairs.

EIGHT:

Speed isn't always an advantage. The

snails were on board with the

cheetahs.

NINE:

When you're stressed, float

awhile.

TEN:

Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the

Titanic by professionals.

ELEVEN:

No matter the storm, when you are with God,

there's always a rainbow

waiting.



My instructions were to

send this to the people that I wanted God to

bless and I picked you.

Please pass

this on to people you want to be

blessed.

Give it! Don't just get

it!



Most people walk in and out of

your life,

but FRIENDS leave footprints in

your heart.