OLD VERSION
The ant works
hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is
warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so
he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible
for yourself!
MODERN VERSION
The ant
works
hard in the
withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter,
the shivering
grasshoppercalls a press conference and demands to
know
why the
ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and
starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next toa video of the ant in
his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is
stunned by the sharp contrast.
How
can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears
on
Oprahwith the grasshopperand everybody cries when they
sing, 'It's Not EasyBeing Green...'
ACORN stages
a
demonstration in front of the ant'shouse where the news stations film
the SEIUgroup singing, We shall overcome.
Then Rev. Jeremiah
Wright
has the group kneel down to pray for thegrasshopper's
sake,
while he damns
the ants.
President Obama condems the ant
and
blames
President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan,
Christopher Columbus, and the Pope
for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with
Larry King that
the ant
has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and both call for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the
Economic
Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Actretroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate numberof green bugs
and,having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the Government GreenCzarand given to the
grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his
free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while
the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the
ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper
doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be
seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders
who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world
with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you
vote in 2012.
I've sent
this to you because
I believe
that you are an
ant not a
grasshopper!
Make sure that you pass this on to other ants.
Don't
bother sending it on to any grasshoppers
because they wouldn't understand it,
anyway.