Sunday, June 23, 2013
obama scandal ... Thx Ramey H!
Bob: Did you hear about the latest obama scandal?
Jim: "You mean
about the setting up of Seal Team
6?"
Bob: "No, the other
one.
Jim: “You mean the
Mexican gun running?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “The State
Dept. lying about Benghazi?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “The IRS
targeting conservatives?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “The DOJ
spying on the press?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “Sebelius
shaking down health insurance
executives?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “The NSA
monitoring our phone calls, e-mails and everything
else?”
Bob: “No, the other
one”
Jim: “The State
Dept. interfering with an IG investigation on dept. sexual
misconduct?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “HHS
employees being given insider information on Medicare
Advantage?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “Clinton, the
IRS, Clapper & Holder all lying to
Congress?”
Bob: “No, the other
one.”
Jim: “I give up! …
Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean the 65 million uninformed, ignorant
voters stuck us again with the most corrupt administration in American
history?”
Bob: “THAT’S THE ONE!
The best argument
against a democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. ~~~
Winston Churchill
Funny ones ... Thz Anon Y!
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill....' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing! "They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing….yet.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill....' ~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~ You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing! "They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing….yet.