Friday, November 8, 2013

Hot air baloon ... Thx Marge R!

Hot air balloon  
 
A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude..

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct.  But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.  You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.  You're in exactly the same position you  were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."



-- 
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
 

Sad day indeed! ... Thx Marge R!


Subject: FW: Sad day indeed....









 


Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence." Ronald Reagan
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And the free ride paid by the government.

Pass it on Americans.    I did.    No Hate,  just the truth.

God  Bless  America!
=

The Queen and Dolly Parton ... Thx Ramey H!

 
The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven!

QEliz.jpg

Queen Elizabeth

And

DollyParton.jpgDolly Parton

Die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately,there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.


Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created,

And I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.'

The Angel thanks Dolly
and asks Her Majesty the same question.The Queen takes a bottle of
Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down.


Perrier.jpg

Then, wees into a toilet and pulls the lever.


Toilet.jpg

The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks,'What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She wees into a toilet and she gets in!

Would you explain that to me?'

'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel,'but even in Heaven,


PearlyGates.gif

A Royal Flush

RoyalFlush.jpgBeats a Pair -

No Matter How Big They Are.




TheDevilMadeMeDoIt.jpg