Bible KNowledge ... Thx T & C Lynch!

Subject: Bible Knowledge

 

A Nun Grading Papers

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. 

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY
CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. 

1.  
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. 
 ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. 
 LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4.
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS. 

5.

SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH. 

6.

SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE
APOSTLES.

7.
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE REDSEA WHERE THEY MADE
UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8.

THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN
COMMANDMENTS.

9.
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE
APPLE.

10.

THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT
ADULTERY.

11.

MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED
THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL. 

12.

THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13.

DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL
TIMES.

14.
SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700
PORCUPINES.

15.
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16.

WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. 

17.

JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE
CONTRAPTION.

18.

ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19.

JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU.
HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE. 

20.
IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21.

THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12
DECIBELS.

22.

THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23.

ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24.

ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25.
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED
MONOTONY.

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."  Thomas Jefferson

Mull this over ... Thx Alma H!

http://www.westernjournalism.com/barack-hussein-soebarkah-loretta-fuddy-cult-subud-

obamas-real-daddy/ 

skegley.blogspot.com

Great work in Oklahoma ! ...Thx Dr. H!

www.youtube.com/embed/0dFIZX_RXuU

 
 

This project has gotten very little press.  Check it out when next in Phoenix.

ANOTHER great moment in historic preservation; dedicated on 12-7-13.

 skegley.blogspot.com

Kenyan Lottery - We tried for a million and lost everything ... Thx Judi C!

You can bet I jumped on this opportunity!!!

 

 

 

What a Deal!....I won a Kenyan Lottery according to an email received from a Nigerian prince; 
He holds a MILLION DOLLARS and he wants to send it to me FREE! 
  
 And all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers so he can transfer the money! 

And, then I got ANOTHER email; It, too, is from a KENYAN prince, and he wants to give me

FREE healthcare for life!  


       

 

… all I have to do is give him all my bank account numbers, MY SOCIAL

SECURITY NUMBER  and  MY CONFIDENTIAL HEALTH INFORMATION so

he can make it happen! 
 

Am I lucky, or WHAT?

Kruschev- Secular Progressives & Emperor o

	David Kaeln
	simply.d01
	Jack Plymale
	James Walker
	Jason Stillion
	Jay
	Judi Cole
	Rick
	ronald walters
	Ralph A Hovermale

12 of 7,737

 

Remember This 54 Years Ago? Inbox x   Been around but worth remembering.... Remember This 54 Years Ago? I remember this, but never understood what he was saying, Oh, do I understand this now. Too bad we didn't pay attention more back then.   If you are too young to remember this, take it from someone who isn’'t this is a true historical event and very close now, to being a self fulfilling prophesy.   Nikita Khrushchev Quote September 29, 1959   DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN HE APPEARED AT THE U.N. AND BANGED HIS SHOE ON THE PODIUM? THIS WAS HIS ENTIRE QUOTE:                 Click here to Reply, Reply to all, or Forward TurboTax - Get your refund plus more See how to get your biggest refund, guaranteed. Plus a bonus! Why this ad?Ads – 3.4 GB (22%) of 15 GB used Manage ©2014 Google - Terms & Privacy Last account activity: 3 minutes ago Details

People (2) Pidge Fuller Show details Ads TurboTax Get your refund plus more See how to get your biggest refund, guaranteed. Plus a bonus! Amica® Auto Insurance Get Your Free Quote In Minutes. See How Much You Could Be Saving. amicacoverage.com/Amica-Quote $19 Car Insurance - New Get a Free Quote & Save 55-75%! (Ohio Residents Only) ohio.quotelab.com VA Loans for Veterans Find Out What Your Benefits Are. $0 Down - Up To $417K - 2 Min Quote www.veteransunited.com Epson® Sublimate Printer Fast Production Speeds, Reliable Production Workflow. Learn More! www.epson.com/Sublimate+Printer Free Restaurants Coupons Restaurants Coupons Huge Savings at Restaurants! www.shopathome.com/Restaurants

Get your refund plus more

Great Fun - Punography ... Thx Gary and Jill I !

Great fun

PUN0GRAPHY
·  I tried to catch some fog, but  I mist.·  What do the do when chemists die? They barium.· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.· How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.·  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words .·  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .·  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?·  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.·  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds..·  I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!·  Broken pencils are pointless.· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .·  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
   Police say they have nothing to go on.·  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.· Velcro - what a rip off!· Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.