A minute with God ... Thx Nita E!

A minute with GOD! Enjoy....








                                          A minute with GOD                 Enjoy....

    I LOVE THE OPENING SENTENCE .
      With what is going on in the world these days Heaven could end up a
ghost town ?
      My name is God.  You hardly have time for me. I love you and will
always bless you.
      I am always with you.  I need you to spend 30 secs. of your time with
Me today.
      Don't pray, just praise.  Today I want this message to go across the
world before midnight.
      Will you help?  Please do not delete it and I'll help you with
something that you are in need of.
      Just dare Me!  A blessing is coming your way.  Please drop everything
& pass it on.
    Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding?
      Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage
with God?
    Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore
it because you think you will get laughed at?
    Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't.
      God said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on
the day of judgment.
      When one door closes, God opens two.
      If God has opened doors for you, send this message to everyone...
      Forward if God's been good to you!
    God has been very good to me, He has given me a wonderful family, great
friends, great health for the most of my life and so much more!



    THANK YOU LORD!

    AMEN! AMEN!  AND AMEN!!!!!

Question of Gender ... Very Funny ... Thx Marge R!

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Question of gender very funny Inbox x No, it’s not about Bruce Jenner........ Subject: FW: Question of gender ​ You might not know this...but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female..Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in...but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again.  They can be an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons. TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere..... you have to light a fire under their arse. SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES: Female...because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS: Definitely male... Because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.. EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because...over time...all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS: Male..... Because in the last 5000 years.....they've hardly changed at all... and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male...but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it...and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push.. .he just keeps trying Now Send this to all the women you care about, and to any men who appreciate a good laugh!

Senior computer help line ... Thx Lyle S!

Senior Computer skills A laugh to start your day…..   Senior Computer Skills.......                    Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you  have? Customer:          A white one... Tech support:     Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the  left of the screen. Customer:           Your  left or my left?      ************************    Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it  says 'can’t find printer’. I've even lifted the  printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the  computer still says he can't find  it..   *************************         Customer:         My keyboard  is not working anymore. Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged  into the  computer? Customer:          No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech  support:   Pick up your keyboard and  walk 10 paces  back. Customer:           OK Tech  support:   Did the keyboard come with  you? Customer:           Yes Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged  in.   *************************    Customer:            I can't get on the Internet. Tech  support:     Are you sure you  used the right  password? Customer:            Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do  it. Tech   support:   Can you tell me what the  password  was? Customer:           Five dots.   *************************    Tech   support: What anti-virus program do you  use? Customer:          Netscape. Tech  support:   That's not an anti-virus  program. Customer:          Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..    *************************    Customer:     I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen saver on my  computer, but every time I move the mouse, it  disappears.   *************************    Tech  support:    How may I help  you? Customer:           I'm writing my first email. Tech  support:   OK, and what seems to be the  problem? Customer:          Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little  circle around it?   *************************    This one and the  next   are our personal  favorites!   A woman customer  called the Canon help desk with a problem with her  printer. Tech  support:    Are you running it  under  windows? Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good  point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me  is under a window, and his printer is working  fine.'           ************************     And last but    not least!   Tech   support:    'Okay Bob, let's  press  the control and escape keys at the same time. That  brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the  letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.' Customer:          I don't have a P. Tech   support: On your keyboard,  Bob. Customer:          What do you mean? Tech  support: 'P'.....on your  keyboard,  Bob. Customer: I'M  NOT GOING TO DO  THAT

Florida Pork Chops ... Thx Ramey H!

FLORIDA PORK CHOPS

This rooter was shot just 30 miles north of Sarasota. Suggest you check on the label on your Easter ham.
And they wonder why most Southerners are armed? I rest my case. Pork-Chops - Anyone?





Cute little pig ...That was killed in King's Point, Sun City Center, FL. They call them Piney Wood
Rooters.

There was a documentary on about a month ago about these PIGS growing up rapidly in the US .. Evidently they're all over Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Missouri, Florida and other states. Did you ever wonder what happens to those people that just leave home and disappear but their car is found out on a dirt road?

Between Bigfoot and these monsters, I think we know!
What would you do if this beast was coming at you?

Run for dear life? Climb a tree? Or simply get run over?


Over 1,800 lb. wild boar shot and killed in King's Point.



Yep......only in Florida!
We were told to stand still because their eye sight is poor. By standing still they probably would not see you and walk right on by. And NO you can't outrun them!!







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