 | Sam Kegley |
| Fwd: Oh, Yes 1 message |
| Ronald Walters | Fri, Jun 30, 2017 at 6:19 PM | |
| To: Sam Kegley | ||
Friday, June 30, 2017
Aging ... Thx Sarah R!
WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END....
- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
- Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
- I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
- I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
- Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
- The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
- I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.
- Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
- Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
- Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
- At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
- I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
- I don’t have to go to school or work.I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don’t have a curfew.
- I have a driver’s license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don’t have acne.
- Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names
