Wednesday, April 22, 2009

aphorisms- Clay Vice e-mail

Good morning, Clay and thanks for the aphorisms (especially the definition Clay-O-Clock)!

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE

EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION

OR A GENERAL TRUTH.



1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always

starts tomorrow.



2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will

make him wag his tail.



3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably

don't have any sense at all.



4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.



5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when

you're in deep water.



6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is

afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants

to stay out all night?



7. Business conventions are important because they

demonstrate how many people a company can

operate without.



8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger

than everyone else looks?



9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.



10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy

who wants to buy a car.



11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get

more publicity.



12. There are worse things than getting a call for a

wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.



13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their

team is winning.



14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a

nap.



15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way

you're going to like it.



16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not

everybody has the same size bucket.



17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have

thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)



18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's

more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.



19. After 50, IF you don't wake up aching in every

joint, you are probably dead!!



20. Always be yourself because the people that

matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't

matter!



I relate best to # 14, Clay. Afternoon naps are simply delicious.

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