Thanks Shovers! Another stimulous package

Date: Tuesday, May 25, 2010, 1:24 AM





In a message dated 5/21/2010 6:06:17 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, brunyon@columbus.rr.com writes:

Subject: Another stimulus package











The observation in this is dead on...

































YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ONE ALL THE WAY TO THE END TO GET THE FULL BENEFIT OF ITS ADVICE....SERIOUSLY..........









Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.







This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:





Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?



A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.







Q.. Where will the government get this money ?



A. From taxpayers.





Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?



A. Only a smidgen of it.





Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?



A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a

high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.





Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?



A. Shut up..





Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by

spending your stimulus check wisely:





* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .





* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs





* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .





* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..





* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .





* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .





* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.





Instead, keep the money in America by:





1) Spending it at yard sales, or



2) Going to ball games, or



3) Spending it on prostitutes, or



4) Beer or



5) Tattoos.





(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )







Conclusion:



Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard

sale and drink beer all day !





No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.















































--

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is

worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went

unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey,"

died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was

getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the

trouble started.