Recession is hurting everybody ... thanks Lyle shover!

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.



Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford

batteries.



CEO's are now playing miniature golf.



Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.



A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies

while she danced.



I saw a Mormon with only one wife.



If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them

and ask if they meant you or them.



McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.



Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.



Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's

names.



My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they

re-possessed her!



A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.



A picture is now only worth 200 words.



When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.



The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.



And finally ...



I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my

savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide

Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was

suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.