The New
Alphabet

 New
Alphabet
: A is for
apple, and B is for
boat,
That used
to be right, but now it won't float! Age before
beauty is what we once said, But let's
be a bit more realistic instead.

 Now
The
Alphabet:
  A's for
arthritis;
B's the bad
back,
C's the chest
pains,
perhaps
car-di-ac?
 D
is for
dental decay and decline,
E is for
eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for
farting and fluid retention,
G is for
gut droop, which I'd rather not
mention.
 H high
blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for
incisions with scars you can show. J is for
joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for
knees that crack when they bend. L 's for
libido, what happened to sex?
M is for
memory, I forget what comes next. N is
neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for
osteo, bones that don't grow!
 P for
prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give
me a pill and I'll be good as new! Qis for
queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for
reflux, one meal turns to two.
 S
is for
sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for
Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for
urinary; troubles with flow;
V for
vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
 W for
worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X
ray, and what might be found. Yfor
another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for
zest I still have-- in my mind!
 I've
survived all the symptoms, my body's
deployed,
And I'm
keeping twenty-six doctors fully
employed!
 HAVE A
GREAT DAY
!
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