Things I've learned as I get older ... Thanks Bob L.!

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
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> 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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> 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
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> 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
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> 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 6. If all is not lost, where is it?
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> 7. It's a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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> 8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
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> 9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
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> 10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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> 11. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
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> 12. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
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> 13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
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> 14. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play checkers?
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> 15. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
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> 16. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .
>  I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
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> 17. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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> 18. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE?