Grandparents ... thx Lyle S!

GRANDPARENTS'    ANSWERING MACHINE

 

Good    morning . . . At   present   we are not    at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.

beeeeeppp    ...

If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from    1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is.

If    you need us to stay with the children, press 2

If you want to borrow the    car, press 3

If you want us to wash your clothes and do ironing, press    4

If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5

If you    want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6

If you want us to prepare a    meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7

If you want    to come to eat here, press 8

If you need money, press    9

 

If    you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the    theatre ,   start    talking ... we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"

 

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WHAT        IS A GRANDPARENT?

(Taken from papers written by a class of        8-year-olds)

Grandparents    are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other    people's.

A    grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents    don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see    them …   They    are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the    shops and give us money.

When    they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and    caterpillars.

They    show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we    shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

 

They    don't say, 'Hurry up.'

Usually    grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They    wear glasses and funny underwear.

They    can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents    don't have to be smart.

They    have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs    chase cats?'

When    they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if    we   ask    for the same story over again.

 

Everybody should try to have a grandmother,    especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who    like to spend time   with    us.

GRANDPA    IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO    SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!

 

It's    funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their    dog.

   

 

 

Send    this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or ....... send it to    everyone. It will make their day.