Late retirement ... Thx Marge R!

An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost
sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good
health the last ten years, in spite of of her interest in health food and exercise.

When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them
to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful
kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and
Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked
Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free,"
Peter replied. "This is heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf
course that the home backed up to. They would have
golfing privileges every day, and each week the course
would change to new one that represented one of the
great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What
are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven;
you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you
understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter
replied with some exasperation. 

"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?"
the old man asked timidly. 

Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can
eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you
never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven."

With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped
on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried
to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The
old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your
fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I
could have been here ten years ago!"