Senior moments ... Thx Dr. Ralph H!

Senior Moments of Inspiration

            1.    My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds ... only 15  to go.

            2.  Ate  salad for dinner ...mostly  croutons & tomatoes ... really just
            one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... and  cheese...
            FINE, it  was a pizza... I ate a pizza!

            3.  How to prepare Tofu:
                1.  Throw it in the trash.
                2.  Grill some meat.

            4.  I just  did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

            5.  I don't  mean to brag but... I finished my  14-day diet food in 3
            hours and  20 minutes.

            6.  A recent  study has found women who carry a little extra weight
            live longer than  men who mention it.

            7.  Kids  today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young,
            I had to walk  through 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel.

            8.  Senility  has been a smooth transition for me.

            9.  Remember  back when we were kids and every time it was below zero
            out they closed  school?  Me neither.

            10.  I may  not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
            talented ... I forgot where  I was going with this.

            11.  I love  being over 60 ... I learn  something new every day ... and
            forget 5  others.

            12. A thief  broke into my house last night ... He started  searching
            for money ... so I woke up  and searched with him.

            13. My  dentist told me I need a Crown ... I said, "You bet,  pour mine
            over the rocks".

            14. I think  I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead
            and call it a  day.

            "Just  remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up  speed."