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Fwd: Fw: Fw: Fwd: Thoughts by Ducky
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10:56 AM (56 minutes ago)
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to Geraldine, joan, Anne, Brian, traudi31, me
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---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: keith brooker <k-brooker@sbcglobal.net>Date: Tue, Apr 25, 2017 at 10:17 AM Subject: Fw: Fw: Fwd: Thoughts by Ducky To: Michael Brooker < mbrooker52@gmail.com>
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THOUGHTS BY ’DUCKY’
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with
> ‘Guess’ on it.
> So I said
> ‘Implants?’
> She hit
> me.
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How come we choose from just two people to
> run for President
> and over
> fifty for Miss America?
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Marriage changes passion.
> Suddenly
> you’re in bed
> with a
> relative.
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Now that food has replaced
> sex in my
> life, I can’t even
> get into my
> own pants.
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I signed up for an exercise class and was
> told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I
> wouldn’t have
> signed up in
> the first place!
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When I was young we used to go ‘skinny
> dipping.’
Now I just ‘chunky
> dunk.’
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Don’t argue with an idiot;
> people
> watching may not be able to tell the
> difference.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed
> up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’
> and start
> all over? AMEN!
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Why is it that our children
> can’t read a
> Bible in school,
> but they can
> in prison?
> A completely brilliant
> question!
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Wouldn’t you know it...
> Brain cells
> come and
> brain cells
> go,
> But FAT
> cells live forever.
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Why do I have to swear on
> the Bible in
> Court
when the Ten Commandments cannot be
> displayed outside?
> Another completely brilliant
> question!
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Bumper sticker of the year:
> ‘If you can
> read this,
> thank a
> teacher –
and since it’s in English,
> thank a
> Soldier’
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And remember:
> Life is like a roll of toilet
> paper.
> The closer it gets to the end, the faster it
> goes.
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