Judas Asparagus- From Clay Vice

----- Original Message -----
From: June
To: Clay Vice
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 5:25 AM
Subject: Judas Asparagus]


Judas Asparagus
A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden . Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah , who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston . Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament . Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.
(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

The Lord's loving kindness never ceases, For His compassion never fails.

Excellent reasons to finish the job in Iraq

----- Original Message -----
From: judith Cole
Sent: 2008-11-17 21:10
Subject: Excellent reason to finish the work in Iraq

Why I want to keep fighting in Iraq
A US soldier gives his perspective on the war.
By Chris Brady

Kirkuk, Iraq - Despite strong public appeals by Gen. David Petraeus and President Bush this month, American views on the Iraq war remain dim. The latest Pew survey shows that 54 percent say US troops should come home as soon as possible, while 47 percent believe the US will probably or definitely fail to achieve its goals in Iraq. Many experts and politicians, meanwhile, have suggested the war can't be won.
I am a US soldier in Iraq. And I disagree. It's not too late to succeed. The stakes in Iraq are too high not to keep fighting for progress.
As a National Guardsman serving on a Provincial Reconstruction Team, I've seen what is working on the ground in Kirkuk, a city in northern Iraq.
In Kirkuk, just as in any American city, people go about their daily business attempting to provide for their families. The only difference is that in Kirkuk (and throughout much of Iraq), there is a small but extremely violent segment determined to deny citizens any semblance of a normal life.
Life in Kirkuk, of course, does not fairly represent conditions across Iraq. Having served more than four months in Baghdad, I know firsthand that violence has been much more severe in other parts of the country. But I'm convinced that the progress I've seen here can happen elsewhere.
Kirkuk is a city of many tensions. Ethnic strains have been compounded by a planned referendum about the city's political status. But the good people of this city have largely resisted these factors that would tend toward sectarian strife and violence. And they, like many other Iraqis, still need America's help.
I've been asked by more than one Iraqi, "How long are you staying?" When I reply "At least a year," I'm told "A year is nothing in Iraq. It is a blink of the eye."
Local tradesmen are justifiably proud of their history and are fond of printing "Welcome to Iraq – More than 7,000 years of civilization" on hand-tooled leather goods. Time here is measured not in weeks and months, but in years and decades. How can we measure progress any differently?
For 35 years this country was under the thumb of a brutal regime that told the populace what to do, when to do it, and where. It is unrealistic to expect a battered national psyche to emerge unscathed and create a functioning government virtually overnight – especially when the concept of "democracy" is as foreign to Iraqis as tribal relations are to Americans.
What Iraqis have accomplished to date is remarkable. In just over three years they have elected provincial councils nationwide, elected and seated a National Assembly, appointed a cabinet, and implemented a Constitution from scratch. Sometimes we forget that the birth of America was equally, if not more, chaotic. The US Bill of Rights alone took more than four years of intense debate before it became the law of the land.
The Provincial Reconstruc-tion Team I serve on has equal numbers of civilian specialists and military members, led by the Department of State, who work together to help Iraqis rebuild basic infrastructure, economics, rule of law, and governance.
We work throughout the province, "outside the wire," which means off the Forward Operating Base, on a daily basis. We see firsthand the human face of longing for a better life. That is all the Iraqis I interact with want: peace, security, and a future for their children. It is exhilarating to sit and listen while the Provincial Reconstruction Development Committee, consisting of Kurds, Arabs, Turkomans, and Chaldo-Assyrians, hashes out project proposals and votes its approval to rebuild a school or construct a playground at a local orphanage. It makes me proud to play a role in this process.
Iraqis here are nervous that the US military will leave. By most assessments, the Iraqi police and Army are just not ready to operate solo. They work hard and improve daily.
I can see it in the pride they take in morning drill at the Kirkuk Government Building, as the commander puts the security force through its paces. The Police Academy in Kirkuk runs four training classes a day, six days a week. The academy has dug its own well for water – without waiting for help from Baghdad. But these security forces simply need more time and mentoring before they can take on Al Qaeda or potentially other violent factions by themselves.
Politicians and thoughtful citizens alike decry US losses, and no one denies the fact that even a single American life is a high price to pay for the security of a foreign country half a world away. I've attended my fair share of "ramp ceremonies" where a thousand soldiers stand for hours at the position of attention well past midnight and salute a fallen comrade's casket being carried aboard a plane for the final journey home. With the possible exception of family, no one feels the loss any keener than a fellow squad or platoon mate.
The reasons America got involved in Iraq may be suspect. But US forces are here, parts of the country are still broken, and regional security may hang in the balance if we don't stay and help the Iraqis fix it. The effort is succeeding in the north, and it can in the rest of Iraq as well. America's forefathers had help from other nations when the United States was born. Allow us to continue to help Iraq be reborn.
• Lt. Colonel Chris Brady is a National Guardsman and the deputy team leader of the Provincial Reconstruction Team in Kirkuk, Iraq. His views are his own. This piece was subject to military review.

Leftocrats- Judi Cole

An editorial comment on a political blog.................

[image: Anonymous] The Elector of Saxony said...
The world will indeed miss this President, especially if we trade him in fora beginner who lacks vision, leadership skills, and courage of even the mostbasic sort.
History, unless the Leftocrats burn it, will remember George Bush as adreamer, an optimist, one who dared everything for the sake of liberty. Theidea of raising up a Democracy from the ashes of a sadistic, tyrannicalregime is truly a bold dream.
You want to talk about the audacity of Hope? There it is, but not in Obama'sshadowy, sing-song nursery rhyme form, but in the inexorable glory ofaction. Even a child can hope. It takes a real man to turn hope into action,hold fast to Faith in that action, and realize the dream which inspired thehope in the first place. George Bush imagined a free and democratic societypopulated by Muslims, slap up against its tyrant neighbors, poking a fingerin the eye of the mullocracies. Just as blue jeans and smuggled Beatlestapes helped crack the seams of the Iron Curtain, so shall the free,capitalist society of Iraq start to tear at the Islamic Curtain. George Bushis an idealist in the cause of Liberty. History showed him that free peoplesrarely find cause of war between them, and rather than destroy the Islamicworld after 9-11, he sought an approach that might someday bring about anend to the cause of emnity between ourselves and the people who attacked theWTC, the USS Coles, the Marines in Lebanon, and on and on.
Once the world sees a self-serving coward in the Oval Office, tyrants willcheer and the cause of Liberty will suffer greatly both abroad and here athome.

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