Irish Viagra ... Thx Ron W!

A belated Irish tale

 

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

 

“What about trying Viagra:” asked the doctor.

 

“Not a chance” she replied.  “He won’t even take an aspirin”

 

“Not a problem,” said the doctor.  “Give him an Irish Viagra.”

 

“What on Earth is Irish Viagra?”

 

“It’s Viagra dissolved in his morning cup of coffee.  He won’t even taste it.

Let me know how it goes,”  he said.

 

She called the doctor the very next afternoon.  “How did it go?” he asked.

 

“Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah, doctor, it was terrible.  Just horid, I tell ya! I’m beside meself!”

 

“Oh, no!  What in the world happened?”

 

“Well, I did the deed, Doctor, just as you advised.  I put the Viagra in his morning coffee, and he drank it.  Well, you know, it took effect almost immediately, and he jumped straight up out of his chair with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging.  Then with one fierce swoop of his arm, he sent the cups, saucers, and everything else that was on the table flying across the room, ripped me clothes to tatters and passionately took me then and there, right on top of the table.  T’was a nightmare, I tell ya, an absolute nightmare!”

 

“Why so terrible?! Asked the doctor.  “Wasn’t the sex good?

 

“Freakin jaysus, it was the best sex I’ve had in me last 25 years, but sure as I’m sittin here, doctor, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”

A veteran died today ... Thx Paul C!

*A POEM WORTH**READING*

*He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.

And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.

But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Joe has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Veteran died today.

He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.

He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Veteran died today.

When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young,
But the passing of a Veteran
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?

The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.

While the ordinary Veteran,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.

It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever-waffling stand?

Or would you want a Veteran
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Veteran,
Who would fight until the end.

He was just a common Veteran,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his likes again.*

*For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Veteran's part,
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A VETERAN DIED TODAY."


PLEASE pass On The Patriotism! YOU can make a difference. If you are
proud of our Vets, then send this to them. You'll be glad you did.
Then send it to ALL your friends.*