Things I Learned in Kentucky
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Kentucky .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Kentucky ,
plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm preparing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner after which
there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tonys, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Kentucky friends and those who just wish they were from Kentucky .
GOD BLESS THE COMMONWEALTH.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Dicorce agreement
~: DIVORCE AGREEMENT :~
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND WE CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT IS BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, WE'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Barack Hussein Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, our flag and "In God We Trust".
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND WE CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT IS BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, WE'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Barack Hussein Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, our flag and "In God We Trust".
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!
Re- The proposed mosque at ground zero- thanks Laura Fisher!
This is the most clearly stated, sensible, and historically accurate statement that I’ve read on this issue (and I’ve read a lot of them).
Statement on the Proposed “Cordoba House” Mosque near Ground Zero
Newt Gingrich
July 21, 2010 6pm
There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia . The time for
double standards that allow Islamists to behave aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and submission is over.
The proposed "Cordoba House" overlooking the World Trade Center site – where a group of jihadists killed over 3000 Americans and destroyed one of our most famous landmarks -- is a test of the timidity,
passivity and historic ignorance of American elites. For example, most of them don’t understand that “Cordoba House” is a deliberately insulting term. It refers to Cordoba , Spain – the capital of Muslim
conquerors who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world’s third-largest mosque
complex.
Today, some of the Mosque’s backers insist this term is being used to "symbolize interfaith cooperation" when, in fact, every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest. It is a sign of their contempt for Americans and their confidence in our historic ignorance that they would deliberately insult us this way.
Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for "religious toleration" are arrogantly dishonest. They ignore the fact that more than 100 mosques already exist in New York City. Meanwhile, there are
no churches or synagogues in all of Saudi Arabia. In fact no Christian or Jew can even enter Mecca. And they lecture us about tolerance.
If the people behind the Cordoba House were serious about religious toleration, they would be imploring the Saudis, as fellow Muslims, to
immediately open up Mecca to all and immediately announce their intention to allow non-Muslim houses of worship in the Kingdom. They should be asked by the news media if they would be willing to lead such a campaign.
We have not been able to rebuild the World Trade Center in nine years. Now we are being told a 13 story, $100 million megamosque will be built within a year overlooking the site of the most devastating
surprise attack in American history.
Finally where is the money coming from? The people behind the Cordoba House refuse to reveal all their funding sources.
America is experiencing an Islamist cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and destroy our civilization. Sadly, too many of our elites are the willing apologists for those who would destroy them
if they could.
No mosque.
No self deception.
No surrender.
The time to take a stand is now -- at this site on this issue.
If, after reading this, you agree with it, please pass it on to others. This is the most clearly stated, sensible, and historically accurate statement that I’ve read on this issue (and I’ve read a lot of them). Why can’t we have a President as intelligent, educated, and patriotic as this former Speaker of the House?
Statement on the Proposed “Cordoba House” Mosque near Ground Zero
Newt Gingrich
July 21, 2010 6pm
There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia . The time for
double standards that allow Islamists to behave aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and submission is over.
The proposed "Cordoba House" overlooking the World Trade Center site – where a group of jihadists killed over 3000 Americans and destroyed one of our most famous landmarks -- is a test of the timidity,
passivity and historic ignorance of American elites. For example, most of them don’t understand that “Cordoba House” is a deliberately insulting term. It refers to Cordoba , Spain – the capital of Muslim
conquerors who symbolized their victory over the Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the world’s third-largest mosque
complex.
Today, some of the Mosque’s backers insist this term is being used to "symbolize interfaith cooperation" when, in fact, every Islamist in the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of Islamic conquest. It is a sign of their contempt for Americans and their confidence in our historic ignorance that they would deliberately insult us this way.
Those Islamists and their apologists who argue for "religious toleration" are arrogantly dishonest. They ignore the fact that more than 100 mosques already exist in New York City. Meanwhile, there are
no churches or synagogues in all of Saudi Arabia. In fact no Christian or Jew can even enter Mecca. And they lecture us about tolerance.
If the people behind the Cordoba House were serious about religious toleration, they would be imploring the Saudis, as fellow Muslims, to
immediately open up Mecca to all and immediately announce their intention to allow non-Muslim houses of worship in the Kingdom. They should be asked by the news media if they would be willing to lead such a campaign.
We have not been able to rebuild the World Trade Center in nine years. Now we are being told a 13 story, $100 million megamosque will be built within a year overlooking the site of the most devastating
surprise attack in American history.
Finally where is the money coming from? The people behind the Cordoba House refuse to reveal all their funding sources.
America is experiencing an Islamist cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and destroy our civilization. Sadly, too many of our elites are the willing apologists for those who would destroy them
if they could.
No mosque.
No self deception.
No surrender.
The time to take a stand is now -- at this site on this issue.
If, after reading this, you agree with it, please pass it on to others. This is the most clearly stated, sensible, and historically accurate statement that I’ve read on this issue (and I’ve read a lot of them). Why can’t we have a President as intelligent, educated, and patriotic as this former Speaker of the House?
Re-Doug Everman-Thanks Jim Kegley and Jack Plymale!
----- Original Message -----
From: Jack Plymale
To: Sam Kegley
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2011 23:14
Subject: Doug Everman=partner of your brother
Sam, my minds eye doesn't see the face of Doug real well, but it does see a real good left hand hook shot, but the Doug Evermen I remember was/is older than I am. Which would make him 12 to 15 years older than your brother. Same guy? Jack P.
--
Jack P.
--- On Tue, 1/4/11, Sam Kegley wrote:
From: Sam Kegley
Subject: Re: Doug Everman=partner of your brother
To: "Jack Plymale"
Cc: "Jim Kegley"
Date: Tuesday, January 4, 2011, 5:29 AM
Yes, I believe it is the same Doug Everman, Jack. He and Jim worked together at the Portsmouth Times, before they started the Scioto Voice. I think he played basketball with Del Rice and others at PHS in 1939 when they won a State Championship for the Trojans in bounceyball, as you call it. He left the Voice and started a weekly paper in Vanceburg, KY if I am not mistaken. You realize, of course, that I am sometimes mistaken. Maybe Jim will update us on the facts of the story.
Sam
Sam,
Doug was born in 1925, so he was 14-years older than I. After I quit the P-Times in 1967 to start the Keg Carry Out, Doug, was inspired to leave the Times also, and he leased The Greenup News in about1970, and began publishing it. He did real well, and then in 1972, after I left The Yellow Pages, as a salesman, I saw Doug at The Hamburger Inn in August, and that's when the plot to hatch a weekly newspaper in Wheelersburg was born. We started the newspaper in late December 1972. We published the first edition on February 8, 1973.
Doug was an outstanding basketball and baseball/softball player, and played with Rocky Nelon before Rocky transferred to West; Doug was a lefty. He was also the best advertising saleman The Times ever had. He ran The Greenup News until about 1978, when he left to work for The Ashland Daily Independent. I bought his interest in The Voice in 1977.
Jim
From: Jack Plymale
To: Sam Kegley
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2011 23:14
Subject: Doug Everman=partner of your brother
Sam, my minds eye doesn't see the face of Doug real well, but it does see a real good left hand hook shot, but the Doug Evermen I remember was/is older than I am. Which would make him 12 to 15 years older than your brother. Same guy? Jack P.
--
Jack P.
--- On Tue, 1/4/11, Sam Kegley
From: Sam Kegley
Subject: Re: Doug Everman=partner of your brother
To: "Jack Plymale"
Cc: "Jim Kegley"
Date: Tuesday, January 4, 2011, 5:29 AM
Yes, I believe it is the same Doug Everman, Jack. He and Jim worked together at the Portsmouth Times, before they started the Scioto Voice. I think he played basketball with Del Rice and others at PHS in 1939 when they won a State Championship for the Trojans in bounceyball, as you call it. He left the Voice and started a weekly paper in Vanceburg, KY if I am not mistaken. You realize, of course, that I am sometimes mistaken. Maybe Jim will update us on the facts of the story.
Sam
Sam,
Doug was born in 1925, so he was 14-years older than I. After I quit the P-Times in 1967 to start the Keg Carry Out, Doug, was inspired to leave the Times also, and he leased The Greenup News in about1970, and began publishing it. He did real well, and then in 1972, after I left The Yellow Pages, as a salesman, I saw Doug at The Hamburger Inn in August, and that's when the plot to hatch a weekly newspaper in Wheelersburg was born. We started the newspaper in late December 1972. We published the first edition on February 8, 1973.
Doug was an outstanding basketball and baseball/softball player, and played with Rocky Nelon before Rocky transferred to West; Doug was a lefty. He was also the best advertising saleman The Times ever had. He ran The Greenup News until about 1978, when he left to work for The Ashland Daily Independent. I bought his interest in The Voice in 1977.
Jim
Interesting Perspective... Thanks luis Flores!
Interesting Perspective
The World's Largest Army. America's Hunters?
The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over 600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay. But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower.
Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security!
The World's Largest Army. America's Hunters?
The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over 600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay. But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower.
Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security!
Urgent Messager for Americans- Thanks Tom & Carolyn!
Subject: Fw: Urgent Message - May God Bless
We are asking everyone to say a prayer for "Darkhorse" 3rd Battalion 5th Marines
and their families.
They are fighting it out in Afghanistan & they have lost 9 marines in 4 days.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE the message spread if more could pass it on.
Semper Fi, God Bless America and God Bless the United States Marine Corps...
Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever.
Lindsay Lohan, 24, gets her name and face all over the news because she went to jail.
Now she's getting it all over again for failing her drug test.
But: Nothing in the media about these guys because no one seems to care:
Justin Allen, 23,
Brett Linley, 29,
Matthew Weikert, 29,
Justus Bartett, 27,
Dave Santos, 21,
Chase Stanley, 21,
Jesse Reed, 26,
Matthew Johnson, 21,
Zachary Fisher, 24,
Brandon King, 23,
Christopher Goeke, 23,
Sheldon Tate, 27,
All are Marines that gave their lives for YOU this week.
Honor THEM by forwarding this request for a prayer. I just did.
We are asking everyone to say a prayer for "Darkhorse" 3rd Battalion 5th Marines
and their families.
They are fighting it out in Afghanistan & they have lost 9 marines in 4 days.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE the message spread if more could pass it on.
Semper Fi, God Bless America and God Bless the United States Marine Corps...
Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever.
Lindsay Lohan, 24, gets her name and face all over the news because she went to jail.
Now she's getting it all over again for failing her drug test.
But: Nothing in the media about these guys because no one seems to care:
Justin Allen, 23,
Brett Linley, 29,
Matthew Weikert, 29,
Justus Bartett, 27,
Dave Santos, 21,
Chase Stanley, 21,
Jesse Reed, 26,
Matthew Johnson, 21,
Zachary Fisher, 24,
Brandon King, 23,
Christopher Goeke, 23,
Sheldon Tate, 27,
All are Marines that gave their lives for YOU this week.
Honor THEM by forwarding this request for a prayer. I just did.
Perhaps my friend, Clay, chides this UK grad a bit
I love it, Clay. Kentucky boys deserve re-cycling!
I am Portsmouth Ohio born and bred but my dad hailed from Vanceburg KY originally. My dad, Forest Earl's, funeral was one of the largest I remember at Portsmouth's Central Church of Christ 41 years ago this coming April.
Sam
KENTUCKY Declares War on the USA
ONLY IN KENTUCKY !!
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Bubba, down here at Turkey Trot Beer Joint, I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Bubba," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Bubba, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Bubba that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Bubba. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Bubba called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Bubba?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Bubba, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Bubba, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Bubba rang again the next day… “President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Bubba that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Bubba, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Bubba called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Bubba, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."
KENTUCKY CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
I am Portsmouth Ohio born and bred but my dad hailed from Vanceburg KY originally. My dad, Forest Earl's, funeral was one of the largest I remember at Portsmouth's Central Church of Christ 41 years ago this coming April.
Sam
KENTUCKY Declares War on the USA
ONLY IN KENTUCKY !!
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Bubba, down here at Turkey Trot Beer Joint, I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Bubba," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Bubba, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Bubba that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Bubba. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Bubba called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Bubba?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Bubba, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Bubba, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Bubba rang again the next day… “President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Bubba that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Bubba, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Bubba called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Bubba, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."
KENTUCKY CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
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