Subject: Cowboy Bob
A modern day cowboy named Bob has spent many days crossing the South Dakota prairies without water.
His horse had already died of thirst. He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie named Patty. But she is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull grey outfit.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says the genie, 'You know how I work....You have three wishes.'
'I'm not falling for this,' said the
cowboy, 'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.
'OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.'
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen, and he's surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish..'
'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'
** *POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'
***POOF***
He was turned into a tampon.
Moral of the story:
If the U.S. government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Breaking news ... Thanks Bob Looney!
BREAKING NEWS!
To save the economy Obama will announce that he is
ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead
of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and will not
remember how to get back home!
I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!
P.S. This came to me, not any readers of this blog, unless the shoe fits. Bob and is a really close friend who I interviewed for my ninth book: "Acquaintances with Integrity II". I guess he thinks of me in his integrous consideration of his old friends.
To save the economy Obama will announce that he is
ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead
of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and will not
remember how to get back home!
I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!
P.S. This came to me, not any readers of this blog, unless the shoe fits. Bob and is a really close friend who I interviewed for my ninth book: "Acquaintances with Integrity II". I guess he thinks of me in his integrous consideration of his old friends.
Social Security ... thanks Luis Flores!
Social Security
I don't care who you are or your political calling, this is a piece of the real issue facing this nation. It is because of Both Parties and their collusion and comprimise to protect their elite lifestyles at the public expense that we are in the financial situation we are in today. Our politicians have not only sold out the parties they were elected to but have sold out the Country they swore to uphold and protect. Where do you stand???
Social Security
A good friend sent me this... I didn't check it out on Snopes, but it sounds about right.
You don't need to do actuarial calculations to know that we've been had. The long term economic engine that runs capitalism yields over 7% over the long term. Sometimes it's less (usually caused by acts of Congress) but it always catches up. It doesn't matter if it is real estate, stocks, etc. If the money had been held and invested as originally required instead of paying it all out today hoping for more tomorrow the benefits would be 5 times to the recipients. In other words if you are collecting $2,000 per month it should be $10,000 per month.
This was sent to me, I am forwarding it because it does touch a nerve in me..
This is another example of what Rick Perry called "TREASON in high places" !!!
Get angry and pass this on!
Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500.
If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98.
If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.
The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.
Entitlement my ass, I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! So did my employers. Just because our government borrowed the money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!
Congressional benefits ---- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements?
We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , Japan and Turkey . And now Pakistan ......haven of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it’s time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries.
Sad isn't it?
99% of people won't have the guts to forward this.
I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did.
I don't care who you are or your political calling, this is a piece of the real issue facing this nation. It is because of Both Parties and their collusion and comprimise to protect their elite lifestyles at the public expense that we are in the financial situation we are in today. Our politicians have not only sold out the parties they were elected to but have sold out the Country they swore to uphold and protect. Where do you stand???
Social Security
A good friend sent me this... I didn't check it out on Snopes, but it sounds about right.
You don't need to do actuarial calculations to know that we've been had. The long term economic engine that runs capitalism yields over 7% over the long term. Sometimes it's less (usually caused by acts of Congress) but it always catches up. It doesn't matter if it is real estate, stocks, etc. If the money had been held and invested as originally required instead of paying it all out today hoping for more tomorrow the benefits would be 5 times to the recipients. In other words if you are collecting $2,000 per month it should be $10,000 per month.
This was sent to me, I am forwarding it because it does touch a nerve in me..
This is another example of what Rick Perry called "TREASON in high places" !!!
Get angry and pass this on!
Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500.
If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98.
If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.
The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.
Entitlement my ass, I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! So did my employers. Just because our government borrowed the money, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!
Congressional benefits ---- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days, now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement entitlements?
We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , Japan and Turkey . And now Pakistan ......haven of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!
They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when it’s time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries.
Sad isn't it?
99% of people won't have the guts to forward this.
I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did.
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