Subject:
CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading
it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my
finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the
worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to
see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid
and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach
my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Are you having a bad day...
Thanks Lyle and Martha Shover!
Things Got Ya Down?
Well Then,
Consider These . .
..
In
a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed,
on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some
even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could
solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around
11:00 AM
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the
cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited
outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was
all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other
holy objects to ward off the evil
spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 ,
Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the ward and
unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum
cleaner.
Still
Having a Bad Day????
The
average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill
in Alaska was
$80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them
both.
Still think
you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find
her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing
frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she
whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
Are Ya OK
Now? - No?
Two
animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a
slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany .
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to
death.
What?!?
STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay
Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back
with 'Return to Sender' stamped
on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now,
Feeling Better?
Things Got Ya Down?
Well Then,
Consider These . .
..
In
a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed,
on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some
even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could
solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around
11:00 AM
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the
cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited
outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was
all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other
holy objects to ward off the evil
spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 ,
Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the ward and
unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum
cleaner.
Still
Having a Bad Day????
The
average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill
in Alaska was
$80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them
both.
Still think
you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find
her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing
frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she
whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
Walkman.
Are Ya OK
Now? - No?
Two
animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a
slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany .
Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to
death.
What?!?
STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay
Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back
with 'Return to Sender' stamped
on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now,
Feeling Better?
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