Thanks Mr. Vice!
Ten Thoughts to Ponder
Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last long."
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Last request- Thanks Ralph Hovermale!
Thanks Dr. Hovermale!
A Last Request ...
In Washington an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people
of the nation's capital. He motioned for his Nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to The House
and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why the old priest wants
to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected."
Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's
hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi
spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you
as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life After Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid.
"Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
A Last Request ...
In Washington an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people
of the nation's capital. He motioned for his Nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to The House
and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why the old priest wants
to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected."
Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's
hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi
spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you
as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life After Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid.
"Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
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