Subject: Smile for the day
To my friends who may need some humor in their day, as I did today, thought
I'ld pass this along...
TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive!
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for
a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is
too short and friends are too few!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
God said- Pat Richards Whitehead e-mail
I received this today from a friend and I thought you might apprecate it.
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not
attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God
to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but
in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about
it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life
now.
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched
their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
God
God has seen you struggling,
God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God, please send to your friends
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not
attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God
to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but
in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about
it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life
now.
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched
their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day.
God
God has seen you struggling,
God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God, please send to your friends
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