It's not fair...Some people are born brilliant!!! Ken
Who Does The Land of Israel Belong To?
An Israeli with an excellent sense of humor,
presented an ingenious example of speech
and politics to the United Nations Assembly
He set the record straight, and made the
world community smile.
A representative from Israel began:
'Before beginning my talk I want to tell
you something about Moses:
When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'
Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on
the rock and entered the water..
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished.
A Palestinian had stolen them!
The Palestinian representative at the UN
jumped up furiously and shouted,
'What are you talking about?
The Palestinians weren't there then.'
The Israeli representative smiled and said,
'And now that we have made that clear,
I will begin my speech...'.
SO VERY CLEVER!!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The pilot and the priest... thanks Terri Kusner!
Subject: Fwd: THE PILOT AND THE PRIEST...
To:
Date: Saturday, May 28, 2011, 11:43 PM
Pilot & Priest
A Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven ? '
The guy replies, 'I'm Jack, retired Continental Airlines pilot from Houston . '
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the Pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it's the Priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father Bob, Pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the Priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.'
'Just a minute,' says the good Father. 'That man was a Pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?'
'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you Preached - people slept. When he flew, people Prayed.'
To:
Date: Saturday, May 28, 2011, 11:43 PM
Pilot & Priest
A Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven ? '
The guy replies, 'I'm Jack, retired Continental Airlines pilot from Houston . '
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the Pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next, it's the Priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father Bob, Pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years.'
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the Priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.'
'Just a minute,' says the good Father. 'That man was a Pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?'
'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you Preached - people slept. When he flew, people Prayed.'
I tend to lose my cool in traffic to often. Where could I drive a nail? Thanks good friend, Lyle shover!
Sam
This has been around before but a good reminder,
NAILS IN THE FENCE
Make sure you
read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most
importantly the last sentence)
There once was
a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day
the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his
father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his
temper.
The days
passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father
took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will
never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed; They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open
their hearts to us.
It's National
Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.. Send this to everyone you consider a
FRIEND, even if it means sending it
back to the person who sent it to you! If it comes back to you,
you will then know you have a circle of
friends.
YOU
ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!
Now send this
to every friend you have!! And to your
family(they need to
know that you love them too)..
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence.
Sam
This has been around before but a good reminder,
NAILS IN THE FENCE
Make sure you
read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most
importantly the last sentence)
There once was
a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day
the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next
few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his
father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his
temper.
The days
passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father
took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will
never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed; They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open
their hearts to us.
It's National
Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.. Send this to everyone you consider a
FRIEND, even if it means sending it
back to the person who sent it to you! If it comes back to you,
you will then know you have a circle of
friends.
YOU
ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!
Now send this
to every friend you have!! And to your
family(they need to
know that you love them too)..
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence.
Veteran Thanks Terry Krause!
A Veteran is someone
who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'The United States of
America ' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life.'
This is true, but in my case, it was because my friends and neighbors sent me a message to show up for duty (draft board- January 1952). Jeanie and I just married and knew it was coming. Today's service people are volunteers. That is remarkable. I personally believe that if our non-representatives have us in a shooting war, every eligible male should be part of the draft, or, at minimum, a draft lottery.
Sam
That is Honor, and
there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'
who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'The United States of
America ' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life.'
This is true, but in my case, it was because my friends and neighbors sent me a message to show up for duty (draft board- January 1952). Jeanie and I just married and knew it was coming. Today's service people are volunteers. That is remarkable. I personally believe that if our non-representatives have us in a shooting war, every eligible male should be part of the draft, or, at minimum, a draft lottery.
Sam
That is Honor, and
there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'
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