Subject: Apparently I Was Wrong!
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Apparently I was wrong! Thanks Les!
Subject: Apparently I Was Wrong!
obama decree for illegals non-enforcement- Thanks Nita Elliott!
You know...I NEVER heard this on the news, did you? When I was trying to verify by Googling it, there were no posts from the major networks. Something is rotten in the White House! He is becoming more of a dictator than an impostor playing at being president.
The adventure would be in adjusting to change, rather than hanging onto the security of the past, which didn't work as well.
This is TRUE…Google “Dream Act by Executive Order” and find thousands of hits
Dream Act: Obama passes amnesty by executive order
Written by Gil Guignat Border & Immigration, Breaking News, Featured Jun 23, 2011
Last Friday, with no fanfare, no press coverage, and with every effort made to hide his actions from the American people, President Obama enacted the DREAM Act by executive order.
Opposed by a majority of the American people and twice defeated in Congress, the DREAM Act grants amnesty to any illegal alien residing in the United States if s/he agrees to enlist in the U.S. military or enter college.
The Obama administration memo from the John Morton, Director of I.C.E. (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) directs I.C.E. agents now to use “prosecutorial discretion” with regard to enforcing immigration laws.
Director Morton says that Obama Administration policy directs border patrol agents not to enforce immigration laws: “When ICE favorably exercises prosecutorial discretion, it essentially decides not to assert the full scope of the enforcement authority available to the agency.”
You read that right. According to the Obama administration “favorable” enforcement means NOT enforcing the law!
According to one of the first press reports to break this important story, the new Obama policy is cut and dry: “federal immigration officials do not have to deport illegal aliens if they are enrolled in any type of education program, if their family members have volunteered for U.S. military service, or even if they are pregnant or nursing.”
Arizona and the voter ID law
Just recently Obama’s Department of Justice (DOJ) blocked Arizona from enforcing its voter ID law. Arizona is one if not the biggest portal of illegal immigration in the nation with half a million illegal aliens coming through the sate annually. Arizona’s Attorney General Tom Horne recently stated that he believed that blocking of the law facilitated massive voter fraud by illegal aliens.
“Attorney General Tom Horne accused the Obama administration Tuesday of trying to thwart Arizona’s voter-ID laws in a bid to get more illegal immigrants to the polls — presumably to cast ballots for the president and Democrats.
Horne acknowledged that a brief filed by the Department of Justice in a case to be heard next month by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals centers around the agency’s argument that Arizona’s law requiring proof of citizenship to register is pre-empted by federal law. But Horne, a Republican, told Capitol Media Services he sees something more sinister.” More…
The 2012 presidential elections
First we have amnesty passed by executive order then we have President Obama’s DOJ blocking voter ID in Arizona. What could possibly be the president’s motive? If you wish to review the entire immigration directive click here.
This story has the potential to bring the Obama Administration to its knees. The momentum can be on our side and just e-mailing it to others can create a critical mass. Don’t assume you have no power. You do!
The adventure would be in adjusting to change, rather than hanging onto the security of the past, which didn't work as well.
This is TRUE…Google “Dream Act by Executive Order” and find thousands of hits
Dream Act: Obama passes amnesty by executive order
Written by Gil Guignat Border & Immigration, Breaking News, Featured Jun 23, 2011
Last Friday, with no fanfare, no press coverage, and with every effort made to hide his actions from the American people, President Obama enacted the DREAM Act by executive order.
Opposed by a majority of the American people and twice defeated in Congress, the DREAM Act grants amnesty to any illegal alien residing in the United States if s/he agrees to enlist in the U.S. military or enter college.
The Obama administration memo from the John Morton, Director of I.C.E. (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) directs I.C.E. agents now to use “prosecutorial discretion” with regard to enforcing immigration laws.
Director Morton says that Obama Administration policy directs border patrol agents not to enforce immigration laws: “When ICE favorably exercises prosecutorial discretion, it essentially decides not to assert the full scope of the enforcement authority available to the agency.”
You read that right. According to the Obama administration “favorable” enforcement means NOT enforcing the law!
According to one of the first press reports to break this important story, the new Obama policy is cut and dry: “federal immigration officials do not have to deport illegal aliens if they are enrolled in any type of education program, if their family members have volunteered for U.S. military service, or even if they are pregnant or nursing.”
Arizona and the voter ID law
Just recently Obama’s Department of Justice (DOJ) blocked Arizona from enforcing its voter ID law. Arizona is one if not the biggest portal of illegal immigration in the nation with half a million illegal aliens coming through the sate annually. Arizona’s Attorney General Tom Horne recently stated that he believed that blocking of the law facilitated massive voter fraud by illegal aliens.
“Attorney General Tom Horne accused the Obama administration Tuesday of trying to thwart Arizona’s voter-ID laws in a bid to get more illegal immigrants to the polls — presumably to cast ballots for the president and Democrats.
Horne acknowledged that a brief filed by the Department of Justice in a case to be heard next month by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals centers around the agency’s argument that Arizona’s law requiring proof of citizenship to register is pre-empted by federal law. But Horne, a Republican, told Capitol Media Services he sees something more sinister.” More…
The 2012 presidential elections
First we have amnesty passed by executive order then we have President Obama’s DOJ blocking voter ID in Arizona. What could possibly be the president’s motive? If you wish to review the entire immigration directive click here.
This story has the potential to bring the Obama Administration to its knees. The momentum can be on our side and just e-mailing it to others can create a critical mass. Don’t assume you have no power. You do!
Tobey and Ida Scout Kegley... Sam Kegley
Governor Huckabee was so proud of his son's new son and said he would be the obnoxious grandfather by posting pictures of the new child on his Sat and Sun evening TV shows on Fox.
Jeanie and I are so proud of all of our grandchildren. Son Jay's Tobey and Ida are recently adding birthdays to their new ages of 15 and 12.
Who am I?
Tobey D. Kegley
Ida Scout Kegley
Why am I here?
My dad (Jay) and mom (Terry Meyers) Kegley love each other
Where am I going?
Where my talents, brains, and industriousness take me by the grace of Almighty God.
Jeanie and I are so proud of all of our grandchildren. Son Jay's Tobey and Ida are recently adding birthdays to their new ages of 15 and 12.
Who am I?
Tobey D. Kegley
Ida Scout Kegley
Why am I here?
My dad (Jay) and mom (Terry Meyers) Kegley love each other
Where am I going?
Where my talents, brains, and industriousness take me by the grace of Almighty God.
Atlasshrugs.com
Long but very interesting. I read a few and skimmed through the rest. Pam is a Bachman supporter. I say, good job, Pam!
Sam
Atlas Shrugs
About Pamela Geller
Choking to Death
Just how powerful is the media's influence? Incalculable. When George Bush was president and the economy was chug chug, chugin' along the unemployment rate was 4.6% and the media was in full destruct mode. The horror of the unemployment rate. The outrage at the war in Iraq ....well you know the rest.
Here we are painfully laboring under Obama's 'leadership' (but not yet suffering the full effect of Obama's war on America, the worst is yet to come) and the Eva Braunish media continues to activate, propagandize and cover for the dastardly actions of the mst dangerous man to ever occupy the White House.
Needless to say if a Republican had Obama's record he would have been exiled to Elba. We have our work cut out for us.
Friday came the news that unemployment climbed again (despite omitting those that have stopped looking for work etc.)
WASHINGTON -- The US economy added jobs at a slower pace in June than in May, the Labor Department reported Friday, suggesting that the sudden slowdown in the economy might be longer-lasting and more severe than feared.
Nonfarm payrolls rose by only 18,000 in June, well below the 125,000 gain expected by economists surveyed by MarketWatch.
Job gains in May were revised down to 25,000 from the initial estimate of 54,000.
Employment growth almost ground to a halt in the last two months after several months of strong gains. Employment rose by an average of 215,000 per month from February through April -- but only averaged 22,000 over the past two months.
The unemployment rate ticked higher to 9.2 percent in June from 9.1 percent in the previous month, reaching the highest level since December 2010. Economists expected the unemployment rate to remain steady. (NY Post)
The same day that the unemployment figures are released I received notice from my health insurer that they have submitted a request for a rate increase to the New York State Department Insurance Department (there's a government department for everything.)
They seek a 22% increase. Mind you, my premiums went up 36% after Obamacare was passed. And I don't even use my healthcare. I have a deductible that would choke a horse just to keep my monthly premiums manageable. And if there had to be universal healthcare (which I do no believe in) it should have covered only catastrophic health costs.
How can people afford these insane increases saddled with growing inflation? Go to the grocery store - what does your dollar buy you? Where is the national outcry? What's it going to take America?
Are there more moochers and looters than there are producers? Is that why Obana still enjoys a double digit approval rating? He should be low single digits.
His foreign policy is delivering the free world into the hands of global jihadists, our soldiers are getting slaughtered under an incoherent foreign policy, we are engaged in four wars without strategy or national self interest. He traded science for stone age when he cancelled the shuttle program and instead instructed NASA to redirect their efforts to outreach with the Muslim world.
America, what's it going to take?
Federal workers earning double their private counterparts
By Dennis Cauchon, USA TODAY
At a time when workers' pay and benefits have stagnated, federal employees' average compensation has grown to more than double what private sector workers earn, a USA TODAY analysis finds.
Federal workers have been awarded bigger average pay and benefit increases than private employees for nine years in a row. The compensation gap between federal and private workers has doubled in the past decade.
Federal civil servants earned average pay and benefits of $123,049 in 2009 while private workers made $61,051 in total compensation, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis. The data are the latest available.
The federal compensation advantage has grown from $30,415 in 2000 to $61,998 last year.
Public employee unions say the compensation gap reflects the increasingly high level of skill and education required for most federal jobs and the government contracting out lower-paid jobs to the private sector in recent years.
"The data are not useful for a direct public-private pay comparison," says Colleen Kelley, president of the National Treasury Employees Union.
Chris Edwards, a budget analyst at the libertarian Cato Institute, thinks otherwise. "Can't we now all agree that federal workers are overpaid and do something about it?" he asks.
Last week, President Obama ordered a freeze on bonuses for 2,900 political appointees. For the rest of the 2-million-person federal workforce, Obama asked for a 1.4% across-the-board pay hike in 2011, the smallest in more than a decade. Federal workers also would qualify for seniority pay hikes.
Congressional Republicans want to cancel the across-the-board increase in 2011, which would save $2.2 billion.
"Americans are fed up with public employee pay scales far exceeding that in the private sector," says Rep. Eric Cantor, R-Va., the second-ranking Republican in the House.
Sen. Ted Kaufman, D-Del., says a pay freeze would unfairly scapegoat federal workers without addressing real budget problems.
What the data show:
•Benefits. Federal workers received average benefits worth $41,791 in 2009. Most of this was the government's contribution to pensions. Employees contributed an additional $10,569.
•Pay. The average federal salary has grown 33% faster than inflation since 2000. USA TODAY reported in March that the federal government pays an average of 20% more than private firms for comparable occupations. The analysis did not consider differences in experience and education.
•Total compensation. Federal compensation has grown 36.9% since 2000 after adjusting for inflation, compared with 8.8% for private workers.
UPDATE: Look at this. USA at the bottom of the bottom of the barrel.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 09:45 AM in Capitalism RIP
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
More Enforcement of Islamic Blasphemy Laws in the West: Former Czech PM sued over statements on Islam
This is the sharia. This is the war on free speech.
Former Czech PM sued over statements on Islam
Prague Monitor Religion of Peace
Prague, July 7 (CTK) – Retired politician Milos Zeman, Czech prime minister in 1998-2002, faces a criminal complaint over the statements on Islam he made in June at an international conference on Europe.
“The enemy is the anti-civilisation spreading from North Africa to Indonesia. Two billion people live in it and it is financed partly from oil sales and partly from drug sales,” Czech news servers quoted Zeman as saying about Islam at the recent conference.
Zeman said Thursday Muslims believe in the Koran like Nazis believed in racial supremacy and anti-semitism and communists in class struggle and dictatorship of the proletariat.
He said Islam is far more aggressive and intolerant than present Christianity, Buddhism, Confucianism and other world religions.
He added that the Koran includes passages calling for the subjugation, enslavement and even elimination of non-believers.
Zeman has been known for his strong statements.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 11:35 AM in FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THE AGE OF JIHAD
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The Jihad Against Southern Sudan
Did we really believe the Muslims would let the Chrstians live in peace after independence was declared in South Sudan. They slaughtered over two million southern Sudanese and still their bloodlust is not slaked.
Prya for Southern Sudan.
South Sudan independent, jihad continues
The Republic of South Sudan is independent today. But the jihad against it is sure not to let up. This new nation deserves the support of all free nations. "Jihad In Sudan Redux," from Christian News Today, July 9:
On July 9, the mostly Christian South Sudan will legally and officially separate from the Muslim north and become a new, independent and free country. Fearing loss of its iron clad grip of other non-Arab regions in the north, whose people likely envy the freedoms won by the South, Arab/Islamist leaders in Khartoum have launched a military assault on the Nuba Mountains, a mixed Christian, animist and Muslim region. Reports from the area are gruesomely reminiscent of the decades-long assault Khartoum waged on the South. These include forced conversions to Islam, mass displacement, bombing of civilians and mass slaughter.
Anticipating the effects of Christians winning freedom from his rule already in December of 2010 Sudan's President Omar Hassan al-Bashir, who is indicted by the International Criminal Court for genocide and crimes against humanity, laid out a vision for the future of his nation:
"If south Sudan secedes, we will change the constitution and at that time there will be no time to speak of diversity of culture and ethnicity... Sharia (Islamic law) and Islam will be the main source for the constitution, Islam the official religion and Arabic the official language", he told a group of supporters.
Al-Bashir made his statement as the people of Southern Sudan were preparing to vote in the referendum that secured their imminent independence. With less than a week left before South secedes, al-Bashir is determined to fulfill his promise not by changing the constitution, but through murder and ethnic cleansing.
After concluding a military occupation of the disputed border region of Abyei, which resulted in the expulsion of more than 100,000 (non-Arabs, mostly from the Dinka tribe), Sudanese army and government-sponsored Arab militias attacked the African tribes of Nuba Mountains, a region situated in the Northern state of Southern Kordofan. Reports indicate indiscriminate bombings of civilians and a systematic killing of the black-skinned Nuba, which forced estimated 100,000 to abandon their homes. One report described "door to door executions of completely innocent and defenseless civilians, often by throat cutting." Another suggested the government might be using chemical weapons. The Bishop of Nuba Mountains described the events as genocide: "Once again we are facing the nightmare of genocide of our people in a final attempt to erase our culture and society from the face of the earth." A well-respected Sudan analyst concurred.
Nuba embody the diversity of culture and religion that al-Bashir wants to destroy. Numbering some 1.5 million, Nuba people are Christians, Muslims and the followers of traditional faiths. It is not uncommon to find the adherents of all faiths within a single family. Comprising from more than fifty tribes and speaking an equal number of languages, the Nuba have an incredibly diverse culture.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 08:34 AM in Sudan, Niger, Darfur, Mauratania-Genocide Child rape, Slavery
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Saturday Night Cinema: A Yank in Libya (1942)
Sam
Atlas Shrugs
About Pamela Geller
Choking to Death
Just how powerful is the media's influence? Incalculable. When George Bush was president and the economy was chug chug, chugin' along the unemployment rate was 4.6% and the media was in full destruct mode. The horror of the unemployment rate. The outrage at the war in Iraq ....well you know the rest.
Here we are painfully laboring under Obama's 'leadership' (but not yet suffering the full effect of Obama's war on America, the worst is yet to come) and the Eva Braunish media continues to activate, propagandize and cover for the dastardly actions of the mst dangerous man to ever occupy the White House.
Needless to say if a Republican had Obama's record he would have been exiled to Elba. We have our work cut out for us.
Friday came the news that unemployment climbed again (despite omitting those that have stopped looking for work etc.)
WASHINGTON -- The US economy added jobs at a slower pace in June than in May, the Labor Department reported Friday, suggesting that the sudden slowdown in the economy might be longer-lasting and more severe than feared.
Nonfarm payrolls rose by only 18,000 in June, well below the 125,000 gain expected by economists surveyed by MarketWatch.
Job gains in May were revised down to 25,000 from the initial estimate of 54,000.
Employment growth almost ground to a halt in the last two months after several months of strong gains. Employment rose by an average of 215,000 per month from February through April -- but only averaged 22,000 over the past two months.
The unemployment rate ticked higher to 9.2 percent in June from 9.1 percent in the previous month, reaching the highest level since December 2010. Economists expected the unemployment rate to remain steady. (NY Post)
The same day that the unemployment figures are released I received notice from my health insurer that they have submitted a request for a rate increase to the New York State Department Insurance Department (there's a government department for everything.)
They seek a 22% increase. Mind you, my premiums went up 36% after Obamacare was passed. And I don't even use my healthcare. I have a deductible that would choke a horse just to keep my monthly premiums manageable. And if there had to be universal healthcare (which I do no believe in) it should have covered only catastrophic health costs.
How can people afford these insane increases saddled with growing inflation? Go to the grocery store - what does your dollar buy you? Where is the national outcry? What's it going to take America?
Are there more moochers and looters than there are producers? Is that why Obana still enjoys a double digit approval rating? He should be low single digits.
His foreign policy is delivering the free world into the hands of global jihadists, our soldiers are getting slaughtered under an incoherent foreign policy, we are engaged in four wars without strategy or national self interest. He traded science for stone age when he cancelled the shuttle program and instead instructed NASA to redirect their efforts to outreach with the Muslim world.
America, what's it going to take?
Federal workers earning double their private counterparts
By Dennis Cauchon, USA TODAY
At a time when workers' pay and benefits have stagnated, federal employees' average compensation has grown to more than double what private sector workers earn, a USA TODAY analysis finds.
Federal workers have been awarded bigger average pay and benefit increases than private employees for nine years in a row. The compensation gap between federal and private workers has doubled in the past decade.
Federal civil servants earned average pay and benefits of $123,049 in 2009 while private workers made $61,051 in total compensation, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis. The data are the latest available.
The federal compensation advantage has grown from $30,415 in 2000 to $61,998 last year.
Public employee unions say the compensation gap reflects the increasingly high level of skill and education required for most federal jobs and the government contracting out lower-paid jobs to the private sector in recent years.
"The data are not useful for a direct public-private pay comparison," says Colleen Kelley, president of the National Treasury Employees Union.
Chris Edwards, a budget analyst at the libertarian Cato Institute, thinks otherwise. "Can't we now all agree that federal workers are overpaid and do something about it?" he asks.
Last week, President Obama ordered a freeze on bonuses for 2,900 political appointees. For the rest of the 2-million-person federal workforce, Obama asked for a 1.4% across-the-board pay hike in 2011, the smallest in more than a decade. Federal workers also would qualify for seniority pay hikes.
Congressional Republicans want to cancel the across-the-board increase in 2011, which would save $2.2 billion.
"Americans are fed up with public employee pay scales far exceeding that in the private sector," says Rep. Eric Cantor, R-Va., the second-ranking Republican in the House.
Sen. Ted Kaufman, D-Del., says a pay freeze would unfairly scapegoat federal workers without addressing real budget problems.
What the data show:
•Benefits. Federal workers received average benefits worth $41,791 in 2009. Most of this was the government's contribution to pensions. Employees contributed an additional $10,569.
•Pay. The average federal salary has grown 33% faster than inflation since 2000. USA TODAY reported in March that the federal government pays an average of 20% more than private firms for comparable occupations. The analysis did not consider differences in experience and education.
•Total compensation. Federal compensation has grown 36.9% since 2000 after adjusting for inflation, compared with 8.8% for private workers.
UPDATE: Look at this. USA at the bottom of the bottom of the barrel.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 09:45 AM in Capitalism RIP
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Reblog (0)
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
More Enforcement of Islamic Blasphemy Laws in the West: Former Czech PM sued over statements on Islam
This is the sharia. This is the war on free speech.
Former Czech PM sued over statements on Islam
Prague Monitor Religion of Peace
Prague, July 7 (CTK) – Retired politician Milos Zeman, Czech prime minister in 1998-2002, faces a criminal complaint over the statements on Islam he made in June at an international conference on Europe.
“The enemy is the anti-civilisation spreading from North Africa to Indonesia. Two billion people live in it and it is financed partly from oil sales and partly from drug sales,” Czech news servers quoted Zeman as saying about Islam at the recent conference.
Zeman said Thursday Muslims believe in the Koran like Nazis believed in racial supremacy and anti-semitism and communists in class struggle and dictatorship of the proletariat.
He said Islam is far more aggressive and intolerant than present Christianity, Buddhism, Confucianism and other world religions.
He added that the Koran includes passages calling for the subjugation, enslavement and even elimination of non-believers.
Zeman has been known for his strong statements.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 11:35 AM in FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THE AGE OF JIHAD
Permalink
Comments (0) ShareThis
Reblog (0)
Digg This
Save to del.icio.us
The Jihad Against Southern Sudan
Did we really believe the Muslims would let the Chrstians live in peace after independence was declared in South Sudan. They slaughtered over two million southern Sudanese and still their bloodlust is not slaked.
Prya for Southern Sudan.
South Sudan independent, jihad continues
The Republic of South Sudan is independent today. But the jihad against it is sure not to let up. This new nation deserves the support of all free nations. "Jihad In Sudan Redux," from Christian News Today, July 9:
On July 9, the mostly Christian South Sudan will legally and officially separate from the Muslim north and become a new, independent and free country. Fearing loss of its iron clad grip of other non-Arab regions in the north, whose people likely envy the freedoms won by the South, Arab/Islamist leaders in Khartoum have launched a military assault on the Nuba Mountains, a mixed Christian, animist and Muslim region. Reports from the area are gruesomely reminiscent of the decades-long assault Khartoum waged on the South. These include forced conversions to Islam, mass displacement, bombing of civilians and mass slaughter.
Anticipating the effects of Christians winning freedom from his rule already in December of 2010 Sudan's President Omar Hassan al-Bashir, who is indicted by the International Criminal Court for genocide and crimes against humanity, laid out a vision for the future of his nation:
"If south Sudan secedes, we will change the constitution and at that time there will be no time to speak of diversity of culture and ethnicity... Sharia (Islamic law) and Islam will be the main source for the constitution, Islam the official religion and Arabic the official language", he told a group of supporters.
Al-Bashir made his statement as the people of Southern Sudan were preparing to vote in the referendum that secured their imminent independence. With less than a week left before South secedes, al-Bashir is determined to fulfill his promise not by changing the constitution, but through murder and ethnic cleansing.
After concluding a military occupation of the disputed border region of Abyei, which resulted in the expulsion of more than 100,000 (non-Arabs, mostly from the Dinka tribe), Sudanese army and government-sponsored Arab militias attacked the African tribes of Nuba Mountains, a region situated in the Northern state of Southern Kordofan. Reports indicate indiscriminate bombings of civilians and a systematic killing of the black-skinned Nuba, which forced estimated 100,000 to abandon their homes. One report described "door to door executions of completely innocent and defenseless civilians, often by throat cutting." Another suggested the government might be using chemical weapons. The Bishop of Nuba Mountains described the events as genocide: "Once again we are facing the nightmare of genocide of our people in a final attempt to erase our culture and society from the face of the earth." A well-respected Sudan analyst concurred.
Nuba embody the diversity of culture and religion that al-Bashir wants to destroy. Numbering some 1.5 million, Nuba people are Christians, Muslims and the followers of traditional faiths. It is not uncommon to find the adherents of all faiths within a single family. Comprising from more than fifty tribes and speaking an equal number of languages, the Nuba have an incredibly diverse culture.
Posted by Pamela Geller on Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 08:34 AM in Sudan, Niger, Darfur, Mauratania-Genocide Child rape, Slavery
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Saturday Night Cinema: A Yank in Libya (1942)
What happens in Heaven stays in Heaven Thanks wonderful Looneys!
From: "Ginny" Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 18:33:06 GMT To: johnlooney@windstream.net, VMarsh1979@aol.com Subject: What happens in heaven stays in heaven
Just thought this was so funny! What happens in Heaven stays in Heaven?
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and threw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest....."
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
Just thought this was so funny! What happens in Heaven stays in Heaven?
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life. The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and threw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest....."
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
Things I have learned living in the south... Thanks Clay!
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH...
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow,eat and like okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular; All ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good beef stew or chili weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow,eat and like okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm fixing to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular; All ya'll is plural.
You measure distance in minutes.
You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You know what a DAWG is.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good beef stew or chili weather.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
Prime Minister Julia Guillard- Australia Thanks Lyle!
Prime Minister Julia Gillard - Australia
Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.
Separately, Gillard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying she supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote:
'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT... Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'
'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.'
'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!'
'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'
'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'
'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'
'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'
NOTE: IF we circulate this amongst ourselves in Canada & USA, WE will find the courage to start speaking and voicing the same truths.
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Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.
Separately, Gillard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying she supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote:
'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT... Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'
'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.'
'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!'
'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'
'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'
'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'
'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'
NOTE: IF we circulate this amongst ourselves in Canada & USA, WE will find the courage to start speaking and voicing the same truths.
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