Irish Craig and Humor ... Thx Lyle S!

Irish craic & humor...

 

 

 

 

 

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Nice column by my brother, Jim ... SamKat

My column for The Scioto Voice, Jim Kegley

 

 

High Notes 11-07-2013 – Angela Gorman

 

Angela Gorman, is the “Irish Mom” who declares that fact on her auto’s license plates.  She is my neighbor on Bihlman Drive, Portsmouth, who grew up in Belfast, Northern Ireland, and she told me a couple of stories about recent adventures she’s had while walking the neighborhood.  Ms. Gorman likes to walk early in the morning.  One recent morning she passed by a car, which was parked in front of a house, and she noticed a lady’s purse sitting on the sidewalk next to the car.   Angela is one of those persons who responds to such situations and is eager to help others, so she immediately went to the front door of the house and knocked loudly, until a lady answered.  The lady was in her house clothes, and seemed unhappy at being wakened so early, until the purse was pointed out.  She than exclaimed, “That’s my purse, I must have left it on the sidewalk as I was taking my shopping bags from the car last night…that’s my life in that purse!”  Angela retrieved the purse and the lady was very thankful, she said.

Angela continued with her story as I visited with her last week, “I was at Wal-Mart a few days later, and while standing in line waiting to check-out, I noticed a young man behind me, and he seemed too close, so I turned to look at him, and he was smiling broadly.  I thought that was strange, so I turned back around and tried to ignore him.  He moved closer to my left shoulder, so I turned again and looked at him, at which time he said, “You live in Forest Heights, don’t you”?

Well, I felt uncomfortable at the situation, and turned back around to ignore him, and he said, “That was my Mom, whose purse you found!  I’ve seen you walking in front of her house.” 

“Phew, was I relieved!” Angela said.

“Then a couple of days later, I was walking east on Coles Boulevard, and just past Howard Street, I heard a strange whimpering sound.  It was coming from up the bank among some shrubs, so I cleared them away and found a small injured looking dog.  At that same time, I saw a man walking another dog on a leash, on the other side of the street, so I called to him, and ran to him and explained the situation.  He then hurriedly accompanied me to the injured dog.  When he saw the dog, he started crying, and said, ‘That’s my dog, Coco, and I’ve been looking for him for two days,’ as he took him lovingly into his arms. I don’t know the man, nor have I seen him since, but I’m glad he was able to get his dog back,” she said.

Perhaps Angela learned how to respond to adversity early in her childhood, as she and the rest of her family had to leave their beds during the night hours and go to nearby bomb-shelter trenches when Adolph Hitler’s Luftwaffe rained terror onto the city.

Luftwaffe means “Air-weapon” in the German language.

I wrote a column several weeks ago featuring Angela, and her book “An Irish American Dream” her memoir she published back in 2001.  Angela is a healthy, active and fit woman, whose list of medications is “One multi-vitamin a day”.  She loves to tend her flowers and the flowers which grace the front of the office space for Forrest Heights, across from her apartment.

Angela, her husband, Joseph along with their twin girls, Joyce and Linda settled in Portsmouth from Ireland in 1953.  Her other two daughters, Colleen and Sonja came later.

Angela said her book has become somewhat popular again, and as some of her neighbors have learned about it they want copies.  To me the book seems like her love letter to Portsmouth, and its people, and to America in general, and her poem, Beautiful America expresses that love best.

Beautiful America

Angela Gorman

I know you are probably thinking I have the title wrong

But there is logic to my reason as I sing this song

       For those of you fortunate to be born in this great land

Grew up with freedom and its beauty at your hand.

 

       To some it’s just a way of life and taken for granted

But to me this land is precious as a seed I have planted

       You see, I’m from the Emerald Isle; that’s beauty in itself

But forty shades of green do not fill the pantry shelf.

 

       I learned this at an early age, so I began to dream

Of one day going to the land of milk, honey, and cream

       The only country in the world that could fulfill my goal

Was the one that had freedom and beauty to behold.

 

     So my Beautiful America, the land of red, white and blue

It’s the gracious people here who made my life anew

       They are loving and caring and they’ll go that extra mile

I call it Beautiful America and always say it with a smile.

   

Baptizing an Irishman ... Thanks Coach V!

An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a
preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk proceeds into the water,
subsequently bumping into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,
whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"< BR>The drunk
shouts, "Yes, oi am."
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and
asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He
again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, me brother?"
The drunk answers, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but
this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins k icking his
arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For
the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches
his breath, and says to the preacher,***
"Are you sure this is where he fell in"?

Love the Irish ... Thanks Nita E.!

----- Forwarded Message -----

You'll really crack up at these...... C.V.

The Irish

Love The Irish Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.' ababab Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.' ababab Paddy was in New York . He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?' ababab Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!' 'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?' ababab An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!' ababab Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' 'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.' 'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.' ababab Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' 'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly! From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!