JESUS AND THE DEMOCRAT
(I don't care what party you like, this one's funny!!)
A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.
The Democrat jumped up and yelled,
"Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability."
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Southern Medical Dictionary... Thanks Pat R. W.!
Southern Medical Dictionary
Southerners have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously.
You are going to die anyway, so live life.
Southerner's Medical Dictionary
Artery.............................. The study of paintings Bacteria.......................... Back door to cafeteria Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section...... A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her Colic...............................A sheep dog Coma............................ A punctuation mark Dilate............................. To live long Enema............................Not a friend Fester............................ Quicker than someone else Fibula............................ A small lie Impotent........................Distinguished, well known Labour Pain................. Getting hurt at work Medical Staff............... A Doctor's cane Morbid........................... A higher offer Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates Node................................ I knew it Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted Pelvis................. .......... Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative............ A letter carrier Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery Rectum.......................... ****** near killed him Secretion....................... Hiding something Seizure........................ Roman emperor Tablet........................... A small table Terminal Illness.......... Getting sick at the airport Tumor........................... One plus one more Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
Southerners have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously.
You are going to die anyway, so live life.
Southerner's Medical Dictionary
Artery.............................. The study of paintings Bacteria.......................... Back door to cafeteria Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section...... A neighborhood in Rome Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her Colic...............................A sheep dog Coma............................ A punctuation mark Dilate............................. To live long Enema............................Not a friend Fester............................ Quicker than someone else Fibula............................ A small lie Impotent........................Distinguished, well known Labour Pain................. Getting hurt at work Medical Staff............... A Doctor's cane Morbid........................... A higher offer Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates Node................................ I knew it Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted Pelvis................. .......... Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative............ A letter carrier Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery Rectum.......................... ****** near killed him Secretion....................... Hiding something Seizure........................ Roman emperor Tablet........................... A small table Terminal Illness.......... Getting sick at the airport Tumor........................... One plus one more Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
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