> *Yes, The Darwin Awards are out again!*
>
> *It's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
> honoring the least evolved among us*.
>
> *Here is the glorious winner:
>
> *1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did
> something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
> the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
> *And now, the Honorable mentions:*
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
> machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
> insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
> to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
> finger.. The chef's claim was approved.
>
> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
> a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
> the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
> Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
> driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
> ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
> staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
> The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
> wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
> injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
> could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
> and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
> a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
> provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
> bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...
> $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
> committed?]
>
> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
> at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
> the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
> Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
> her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
> to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
> police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
> the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
> for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's
> the lady I stole the purse from."
>
> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
> The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
> register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
> said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked
> away.
>
> *And Finally, the 5-STAR "STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER"*
>
> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained
> for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to
> a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
> admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into
> the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
> to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the
> perp had been punished enough!
>
> They walk among us.
>