First Date
==================
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
When you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
Date or Not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
That A woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely
No Question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
Taken Her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
Truly Had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
Until they Were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
Realize That she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the
Middle Of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
Did for a While.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
Point Where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the
Road, or It would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
Down And started.
In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
Against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and
Indeed Was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
Think about was The relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature
Of the situation. Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of
Another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
Were Firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
Attempted To disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
Apparent that she Had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
Answered Her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
That indeed, She was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some
Assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
Then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
Themselves, They assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
Real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
Cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
Place, Both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
His Pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
Laughter, She took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
Should be "pants Down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."
Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
Sitting next to her on the Leno show.
John & Yvette Massey
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Columbia University Classmate of o
I think it was osama and the King of Saudi Arabia, John and these two professors just put out a game plan for the young radical, o.
Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: John Massey
To: undisclosed recipients:
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2010 09:19
Subject: Fw: Overwhelm the system
Subject: Overwhelm the system
WAYNE ALLYN ROOT: Overwhelm the system
A wrap-up of what is taking place in America.
Barrack Obama is no fool. He is not incompetent. To the contrary, he is brilliant. He knows exactly what he's doing. He is purposely overwhelming the U.S. economy to create systemic failure, economic crisis and social chaos -- thereby destroying capitalism and our country from within.
Barack Obama is my college classmate (Columbia University, class of '83). As Glenn Beck correctly predicted from day one, Obama is following the plan of Cloward & Piven, two professors at Columbia University. They outlined a plan to socialize America by overwhelming the system with government spending and entitlement demands. Add up the clues below. Taken individually they're alarming. Taken as a whole, it is a brilliant, Machiavellian game plan to turn the United States into a Socialist/Marxist State with a permanent majority that desperately needs government for survival ... and can be counted on to always vote for bigger government. Why not? They have no responsibility to pay for it.
-- Universal health care. The health care bill had very little to do with health care. Â It had everything to do with unionizing millions of hospital and health care workers, as well as adding 15,000 to 20,000 new IRS agents (who will join government employee unions). Obama doesn't care that giving free health care to 30 million Americans will add trillions to the national debt. What he does care about is that it cements the dependence of those 30 million voters to Democrats and big government. Who but a socialist revolutionary would pass this reckless spending bill in the middle of a depression?
-- Cap and trade. Like health care legislation having nothing to do with health care, cap and trade has nothing to do with global warming. It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control of the economy and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors. Those powerful and wealthy unions and contributors (like GE, which owns NBC, MSNBC and CNBC) can then be counted on to support everything Obama wants. They will kickback hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to Obama and the Democratic Party to keep them in power. The bonus is that all the new taxes on Americans with bigger cars, bigger homes and businesses helps Obama "spread the wealth around."
-- Make Puerto Rico a state. Why? Who's asking for a 51st state? Who's asking for millions of new welfare recipients and government entitlement addicts in the middle of a depression? Certainly not American taxpayers. But this has been Obama's plan all along. His goal is to add two new Democrat senators, five Democrat congressman and a million loyal Democratic voters who are dependent on big government.
-- Legalize 12 million illegal immigrants. Just giving these 12 million potential new citizens free health care alone could overwhelm the system and bankrupt America. But it adds 12 million reliable new Democrat voters who can be counted on to support big government. Add another few trillion dollars in welfare, aid to dependent children, food stamps, free medical, education, tax credits for the poor, and eventually Social Security.
-- Stimulus and bailouts. Where did all that money go? It went to Democrat contributors, organizations (ACORN), and unions -- including billions of dollars to save or create jobs of government employees across the country. It went to save GM and Chrysler so that their employees could keep paying union dues. It went to AIG so that Goldman Sachs could be bailed out (after giving Obama almost $1 million in contributions). A staggering $125 billion went to teachers (thereby protecting their union dues). All those public employees will vote loyally Democrat to protect their bloated salaries and pensions that are bankrupting America. The country goes broke, future generations face a bleak future, but Obama, the Democrat Party, government, and the unions grow more powerful. The ends justify the means.
-- Raise taxes on small business owners, high-income earners, and job creators. Put the entire burden on only the top 20 percent of taxpayers, redistribute the income, punish success, and reward those who did nothing to deserve it (except vote for Obama). Reagan wanted to dramatically cut taxes in order to starve the government. Obama wants to dramatically raise taxes to starve his political opposition.
With the acts outlined above, Obama and his regime have created a vast and rapidly expanding constituency of voters dependent on big government; a vast privileged class of public employees who work for big government; and a government dedicated to destroying capitalism and installing themselves as socialist rulers by overwhelming the system.
Add it up and you've got the perfect Marxist scheme -- all devised by my Columbia University college classmate Barack Obama using the Cloward and Piven Plan.
Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: John Massey
To: undisclosed recipients:
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2010 09:19
Subject: Fw: Overwhelm the system
Subject: Overwhelm the system
WAYNE ALLYN ROOT: Overwhelm the system
A wrap-up of what is taking place in America.
Barrack Obama is no fool. He is not incompetent. To the contrary, he is brilliant. He knows exactly what he's doing. He is purposely overwhelming the U.S. economy to create systemic failure, economic crisis and social chaos -- thereby destroying capitalism and our country from within.
Barack Obama is my college classmate (Columbia University, class of '83). As Glenn Beck correctly predicted from day one, Obama is following the plan of Cloward & Piven, two professors at Columbia University. They outlined a plan to socialize America by overwhelming the system with government spending and entitlement demands. Add up the clues below. Taken individually they're alarming. Taken as a whole, it is a brilliant, Machiavellian game plan to turn the United States into a Socialist/Marxist State with a permanent majority that desperately needs government for survival ... and can be counted on to always vote for bigger government. Why not? They have no responsibility to pay for it.
-- Universal health care. The health care bill had very little to do with health care. Â It had everything to do with unionizing millions of hospital and health care workers, as well as adding 15,000 to 20,000 new IRS agents (who will join government employee unions). Obama doesn't care that giving free health care to 30 million Americans will add trillions to the national debt. What he does care about is that it cements the dependence of those 30 million voters to Democrats and big government. Who but a socialist revolutionary would pass this reckless spending bill in the middle of a depression?
-- Cap and trade. Like health care legislation having nothing to do with health care, cap and trade has nothing to do with global warming. It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control of the economy and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors. Those powerful and wealthy unions and contributors (like GE, which owns NBC, MSNBC and CNBC) can then be counted on to support everything Obama wants. They will kickback hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to Obama and the Democratic Party to keep them in power. The bonus is that all the new taxes on Americans with bigger cars, bigger homes and businesses helps Obama "spread the wealth around."
-- Make Puerto Rico a state. Why? Who's asking for a 51st state? Who's asking for millions of new welfare recipients and government entitlement addicts in the middle of a depression? Certainly not American taxpayers. But this has been Obama's plan all along. His goal is to add two new Democrat senators, five Democrat congressman and a million loyal Democratic voters who are dependent on big government.
-- Legalize 12 million illegal immigrants. Just giving these 12 million potential new citizens free health care alone could overwhelm the system and bankrupt America. But it adds 12 million reliable new Democrat voters who can be counted on to support big government. Add another few trillion dollars in welfare, aid to dependent children, food stamps, free medical, education, tax credits for the poor, and eventually Social Security.
-- Stimulus and bailouts. Where did all that money go? It went to Democrat contributors, organizations (ACORN), and unions -- including billions of dollars to save or create jobs of government employees across the country. It went to save GM and Chrysler so that their employees could keep paying union dues. It went to AIG so that Goldman Sachs could be bailed out (after giving Obama almost $1 million in contributions). A staggering $125 billion went to teachers (thereby protecting their union dues). All those public employees will vote loyally Democrat to protect their bloated salaries and pensions that are bankrupting America. The country goes broke, future generations face a bleak future, but Obama, the Democrat Party, government, and the unions grow more powerful. The ends justify the means.
-- Raise taxes on small business owners, high-income earners, and job creators. Put the entire burden on only the top 20 percent of taxpayers, redistribute the income, punish success, and reward those who did nothing to deserve it (except vote for Obama). Reagan wanted to dramatically cut taxes in order to starve the government. Obama wants to dramatically raise taxes to starve his political opposition.
With the acts outlined above, Obama and his regime have created a vast and rapidly expanding constituency of voters dependent on big government; a vast privileged class of public employees who work for big government; and a government dedicated to destroying capitalism and installing themselves as socialist rulers by overwhelming the system.
Add it up and you've got the perfect Marxist scheme -- all devised by my Columbia University college classmate Barack Obama using the Cloward and Piven Plan.
Progressives should NOT like my political ideals
Progressives have invaded our goverment and our very lives. I don't like their political moves and they don't like my conservative ideals. I have many good and intelligent family and friends that have aided the progressives. God helps me love them anyway, but to a point. The point I don't want crossed is the lives of my kids and grandkids and I believe they are there with this current psychopathic pusa. When they refuse to acknowledge it- it simply makes me sick.
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth as is attributed to so many republicans. Far from it; however, I was born in America to good parents who raised ten kids of our family. You might check statisitcs and discover that fact alone places me among the richest and freeist of this world's inhabitants. Some very genteel politicians such as Washington, Jefferson, and many others still envisioned and set up this American experiment which has so far exceeded the freedoms of any other society anywhere. And many good American service-people have sacrificed limbs and liives that that freedom will persist.
I wish somebody would develop a simplified profile of each of our current congressional 'representatives' with a right-left bar to show their records. Not many are representing American citizens like me. I won't vote for those leaning to the progressive side. Give me the conservative representatives. Get the elitists out and the conservatives in and take back America!
I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth as is attributed to so many republicans. Far from it; however, I was born in America to good parents who raised ten kids of our family. You might check statisitcs and discover that fact alone places me among the richest and freeist of this world's inhabitants. Some very genteel politicians such as Washington, Jefferson, and many others still envisioned and set up this American experiment which has so far exceeded the freedoms of any other society anywhere. And many good American service-people have sacrificed limbs and liives that that freedom will persist.
I wish somebody would develop a simplified profile of each of our current congressional 'representatives' with a right-left bar to show their records. Not many are representing American citizens like me. I won't vote for those leaning to the progressive side. Give me the conservative representatives. Get the elitists out and the conservatives in and take back America!
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