Men are just happy people ... Thx Good friend, Marge F!

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Marjorie Freer	2:04 PM (34 minutes ago)
to me

Sam. I think maybe you were right about being glad you were a man

MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE

  

  

This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.

  

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.  Chocolate is just another snack.  You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

  

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.  Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

  

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

  

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.   You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.   You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. 

  

No wonder men are happier!

  

  

NICKNAMES

  

1. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
2. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

  

  

EATING OUT

  

1. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

  

When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

  

  

MONEY

  

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
2. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

  

  

BATHROOMS

  

1. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
2. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

  

  

ARGUMENTS

  

1. A woman has the last word in any argument.
2. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

  

  

FUTURE

  

1. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
2. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

  

  

MARRIAGE

  

1. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
2. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

  

  

DRESSING UP

  

1. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
2. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

  

  

NATURAL

  

1. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
2. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

  

  

OFFSPRING

  

1. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
2. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

  

  

  

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

  

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

  

So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Sam Kegley <skegley.kegley@gmail.com>	2:31 PM (7 minutes ago)
to Marjorie, bcc: Sarah, bcc: Du, bcc: Phyllis, bcc: Blaine, bcc: Dave, bcc: Denny, bcc: Don, bcc: Graydon, bcc: Greg, bcc: Howard, bcc: Jim, bcc: Joe, bcc: OHSAA, bcc: Paul, bcc: MIKE, bcc: ronald, bcc: Tom, bcc: James, bcc: Judi, bcc: M, bcc: Marge, bcc: Nita, bcc: Paul, bcc: Paul

Nice of you to recognize my meaning, Marge.    I am sure that my friend, Bill Hensel will agree with these wonderful facts.  

Good things from good friends Sara R. and her cousin Keith B !

Sam Kegley

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Fwd: Fw: Fwd: Good friends - on my senior email list 1 message

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Sarah Rapp	Thu, Aug 3, 2017 at 10:21 AM
To: keith brooker , Sam Kegley , Geraldine Croker , joan , "T. J. Du Puy" , frankshepherd2017@gmail.com, Anne Dawson
---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: keith brooker <k-brooker@sbcglobal.net> Date: Wed, Aug 2, 2017 at 5:08 PM Subject: Fw: Fwd: Good friends - on my senior email list To: Michael Brooker <mbrooker52@gmail.com> I am forwarding this to those on my Senior email list because it is so well written.  Please send back. (I did)    It's neat. Don't delete this one, you'll laugh when you see the return message. I have seen too many dear friends    leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance    with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s, 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love,   I will. I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with    abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, eventually, I remember    the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or    when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us    strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know    the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever    etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair    could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself    anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going    to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about    what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it). MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! Forward this to at least 7 people, and see what happens on your screen. You will laugh and cry!