WOMAN'S PERFECT
BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table
with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of
the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover
of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover
of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the
back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they
get better!!!
WOMEN'S
REVENGE
'Cash,
check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As
she fumbled for her wallet,
I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her
purse.
'So,
do you always carry your TV remote?' I
asked.
'No,'
she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with
me,
and
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally.'
KEEP READING ALL THE
WAY TO THE BOTTOM.
UNDERSTANDING
WOMEN
(A
MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I
know I'm not going to understand
women.
I'll
never understand how you can take boiling hot
wax,
pour
it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root,
and
still be afraid of a
spider.
LOTS MORE TO
ENJOY...KEEP SCROLLING DOWN FOR A
WHILE.
MARRIAGE
SEMINAR
While
attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication,
Tom
and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor,
'It
is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes.'
He
addressed the man,
'Can
you name your wife's favorite
flower?'
Tom
leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered,
'It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?
LOTS MORE TO LAUGH
AT...
CIGARETTES
AND TAMPONS
A
man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the
aisles..
The
sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help
him.
He
answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his
wife..
She
directs him down the correct
aisle.
A
few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls
and
a ball of string on the
counter.
She
says, confused,
'Sir,
I thought you were looking for some tampons for your
wife?
He
answers, 'You see, it's like
this,
yesterday,
I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of
cigarettes,
and
she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers;
cause
it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much
cheaper.
So,
I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does
she.
(I
figure this guy is the one on the milk
carton!)
KEEP ON
READING .
WIFE
vs. HUSBAND
A
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An
earlier discussion had led to an argument
and
neither
of them wanted to concede their
position.
As
they
passed
a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs,
the
husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of
yours?'
'Yep,'
the wife replied,
'in-laws.'
MORE AND MORE YET TO
ENJOY.
WORDS
A
husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day...
30,000
to a man's 15,000.
The
wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have
to
repeat
everything to men....
The
husband then turned to his wife and asked,
'What?'
KEEP ON
GOING.
CREATION
A
man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can
be
so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time.
'The
wife responded, 'Allow me to
explain.
God
made me beautiful so you would be attracted to
me;
God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you
!
SCROLL DOWN SOME
MORE...
WHO
DOES WHAT
A
man and his wife were having an argument about
who
should
brew the coffee each
morning.
The
wife said, 'You should do it because you get up
first,
and
then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee.
The
husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here
and
you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.'
Wife
replies, 'No, you should do it,
and
besides,
it is in the Bible that the man should do the
coffee.'
Husband
replies, 'I can't believe that, show
me..'
So
she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament
and
showed him at the top of several
pages,
that
it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
YEP, THERE IS SOME
MORE...
The
Silent Treatment
A
man and his wife were having some problems at
home
and
were giving each other the silent
treatment.
Suddenly,
the man realized that the next
day,
he
would need his wife to wake
him
at
5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight.
Not
wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
LOSE),
he
wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00AM.'
He
left it where he knew she would find
it.
The
next morning, the man woke
up,
only
to discover it was 9:00
AM and
he had missed his flight.
Furious,
he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened
him,
when
he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed.
The
paper said, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake
up.'
Men
are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
KEEP ON SCROLLING
DOWN...
God
may have created man before
woman,
but
there is always a rough draft before the
masterpiece
SEND
THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A
LAUGH
AND
TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE
IT!
THIS
IS THE END!!!
