Old Age

Subj: FW: Old age
















Getting there...inch by inch and day by day!! (Smile)









Just in case any of you ever meet any old people, this will help you
understand them a little bit better . . .




Very funny story ........enjoy


This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News
Community Opinion page.



$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and
something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid
a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change
when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever
said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen
discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change
hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I
stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet - a mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong
with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front
of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?


"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter
disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys
behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging
from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview
mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten
doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally
be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it,
deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and
churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be
found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I
could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I
was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go
straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young
lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding
up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my
truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like
this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat
in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky..

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Healthy food chart

Thanks Dan!

Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: Dan Baird
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2009 5:20 PM
Subject: Awesome Healthy Food chart



Awesome Healthy Food chart


This chart is awesome! Everyone can use it. Please pass it on to others.
Share this Chart with everyone
Apples Protects your heart prevents constipation Blocks diarrhea Improves lung capacity Cushions joints
Apricots Combats cancer Controls blood pressure Saves your eyesight Shields against Alzheimer's Slows aging process
Artichokes Aids digestion Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Guards against liver disease
Avocados Battles diabetes Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin
Bananas Protects your heart Quiets a cough Strengthens bones Controls blood pressure Blocks diarrhea
Beans Prevents constipation Helps hemorrhoids Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets Controls blood pressure Combats cancer Strengthens bones Protects your heart Aids weight loss
Blueberries Combats cancer Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Boosts memory Prevents constipation
Broccoli Strengthens bones Saves eyesight Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure
Cabbage Combats cancer Prevents constipation Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe Saves eyesight Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Supports immune system
Carrots Saves eyesight Protects your heart Prevents constipation Combats cancer Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower Protects against Prostate Cancer Combats Breast Cancer Strengthens bones Banishes bruises Guards against heart disease
Cherries Protects your heart Combats Cancer Ends insomnia Slows aging process Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers Aids digestion Soothes sore throat Clears sinuses Combats Cancer Boosts immune system
Figs Promotes weight loss Helps stops strokes Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure
Fish Protects your heart Boosts memory Protects your heart Combats Cancer Supports immune system
Flax Aids digestion Battles diabetes Protects your heart Improves mental health Boosts immune system
Garlic Lowers cholesterol Controls blood pressure Combats cancer kills bacteria Fights fungus
Grapefruit Protects against heart attacks Promotes Weight loss Helps stops strokes Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol
Grapes saves eyesight Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Enhances blood flow Protects your heart
Green tea Combats cancer Protects your heart Helps stops strokes Promotes Weight loss Kills bacteria
Honey Heals wounds Aids digestion Guards against ulcers Increases energy Fights allergies
Lemons Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy
Limes Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy
Mangoes Combats cancer Boosts memory Regulates thyroid aids digestion Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Kills bacteria Combats cancer Strengthens bones
Oats Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Battles diabetes prevents constipation Smoothes skin
Olive oil Protects your heart Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Battles diabetes Smoothes skin
Onions Reduce risk of heart attack Combats cancer Kills bacteria Lowers cholesterol Fights fungus
Oranges Supports immune systems Combats cancer Protects your heart Straightens respiration

Peaches prevents constipation Combats cancer Helps stops strokes aids digestion Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts Protects against heart disease Promotes Weight loss Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol Aggravates
Diverticulitis
Pineapple Strengthens bones Relieves colds Aids digestion Dissolves warts Blocks diarrhea
Prunes Slows aging process prevents constipation boosts memory Lowers cholesterol Protects against heart disease
Rice Protects your heart Battles diabetes Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Helps stops strokes
Strawberries Combats cancer Protects your heart boosts memory Calms stress

Sweet potatoes Saves your eyesight Lifts mood Combats cancer Strengthens bones

Tomatoes Protects prostate Combats cancer Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart

Walnuts Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer boosts memory Lifts mood Protects against heart disease
Water Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Conquers kidney stones Smoothes skin

Watermelon Protects prostate Promotes Weight loss Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes improves digestion
Wheat bran Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes improves digestion
Yogurt Guards against ulcers Strengthens bones Lowers cholesterol Supports immune systems Aids digestion

7 don'ts after a meal

* Don't smoke-Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher). &nbs p; &nb sp;
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1 hr before meal.

* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted &blocked.

* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.