God, please forgive our zeal as University of Kentucky fans. Thanks Judi Cole!
Just had to share this with you all!
Our father who art in Kentucky, let basketball be thy game. Seven banners won, the eighth to come, in Rupp as it is Big Blue Nation. Give us this day our defensive effort, and forgive us our turnovers as we forgive those who seeded against us. Lead us not into a shooting slump and deliver us from bad officiating. In the name of Rupp, and Hall, and the spirit of Bill Keightley. Amen GO BIG BLUE !!!!!!!!!!!:
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sensitive stuff Dr. H again!
Three rednecks were working on top of a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie,
and Donnie.
As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed
instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, damn,
someone should go and tell his wife."
Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," Donnie replies.
"That's unbelievable; you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave
you a case of beer?"
"Well, not exactly," Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to
her, 'You must be Cooter's widow.' She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not
a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'"
Rednecks are real good at that sensitive stuff.
and Donnie.
As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed
instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, damn,
someone should go and tell his wife."
Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," Donnie replies.
"That's unbelievable; you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave
you a case of beer?"
"Well, not exactly," Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to
her, 'You must be Cooter's widow.' She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not
a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'"
Rednecks are real good at that sensitive stuff.
Crime and punishment... Thanks again Dr. H!
Subject: Fw: Shoplifter injured in Atlanta
A+ for report writing!
Garrville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Atlanta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe. After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine. Now that was a well written Police report.
A+ for report writing!
Garrville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Atlanta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe. After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment. The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine. Now that was a well written Police report.
Jeanie loves cukes- I get heartburn Thanks Dr. Hovermale!
WOW WHAT A LITTLE GEM THE CUCUMBER IS, I WILL LOOK AT IT DIFFERENTLY NOW.
1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!
6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!
7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.
8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!
10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.
11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.
12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.
13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!
Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and safer ways to solve life's everyday problems..
1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!
6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!
7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.
8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!
10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.
11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.
12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.
13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!
Pass this along to everybody you know who is looking for better and safer ways to solve life's everyday problems..
Men- Don't make women angry... Thanks Bob Looney
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was
payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the
entire weekend partying with the boys and spending
his entire pay check. When he finally appeared at
home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry
wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a
tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped
the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it
if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He
replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday
and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
____________
payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the
entire weekend partying with the boys and spending
his entire pay check. When he finally appeared at
home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry
wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a
tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped
the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it
if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He
replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday
and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
____________
Watching tight bucketball games... Jack H Plymale
Sam. I don't care if it is watching monkeys shoot marbles.Anything that stimulates us old guys( and mature ladies) has got to be worth our time........................ I'm happy for us. Sick to death of dishonesty in OSU's football coaching ranks. There is no way to justify the continuation of an out and out liar and I was sold on the SOB. Jack P
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: skegley@columbus.rr.com
To: pettifoger@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: UK 76 UNC 69
Date: Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:27:18 -0400
It is difficult on the ticker, Jack. I strongly believe all games are closer due to much more Parity in college basketball.
I do get nervous, Jack, but Jeanie does moreso than me.
SamKat
----- Original Message -----
From: Jack Plymale
To: Sam Kegley
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 19:06
I don't know how much excitement an old rascal like you can stand but congrats. Onward and upward. Jack P.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: skegley@columbus.rr.com
To: pettifoger@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: UK 76 UNC 69
Date: Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:27:18 -0400
It is difficult on the ticker, Jack. I strongly believe all games are closer due to much more Parity in college basketball.
I do get nervous, Jack, but Jeanie does moreso than me.
SamKat
----- Original Message -----
From: Jack Plymale
To: Sam Kegley
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 19:06
I don't know how much excitement an old rascal like you can stand but congrats. Onward and upward. Jack P.
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