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I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
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I changed my car horn to
gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
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You can tell a lot about a
woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's
probably angry.
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Gone are the days when girls
used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like
their fathers.
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You know that tingly little
feeling you get when you really like someone? That's
common sense leaving your body.
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I don't like making plans for
the day because then the word "premeditated" get's thrown
around in the courtroom.
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I didn't make it to the gym
today. That makes five years in a row
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I decided to change calling
the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying
I went to the jim this morning
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Dear paranoid people who
check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your
plan?
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