Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine
Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq.
The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last
request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate
of fried chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chicken.
Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Charlie Gibson said, I'm living in ' New York, so I'd like to hear the
song, The Moon and Me, one last time.' The terrorist leader nodded to
another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music.
He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was
satisfied.
Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till
the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Williams dictated his comments.
He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'
The leader turned and said,
"And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish ???"
"Kick me in the rear," said the Marine.
'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'
"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the rear," insisted the
Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol
from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting
confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife
he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed
the rest of the terrorists killing another 11. In a flash, all of them
were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place ??? Why did you
ask him to kick you in the rear???"
"What ???" replied the Marine, "and have you three assholes report
that I was the aggressor....???"
Semper Fi!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
United States Map- E-mail Dave Miller
Subject: Fwd: FW: United State Map
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being botheredby his little girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the UnitedStates looked like. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country.Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, 'Gointo the other room and see if you can put this together. Thiswill show you our whole country today.
After a few minutes, Shelby return to her Dad and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. 'Oh,' she said, 'on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.'AMEN!!!!!!!
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being botheredby his little girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the UnitedStates looked like. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country.Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, 'Gointo the other room and see if you can put this together. Thiswill show you our whole country today.
After a few minutes, Shelby return to her Dad and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. 'Oh,' she said, 'on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.'AMEN!!!!!!!
Rick Warren- e-mail Dave Miller
Portsmouth Cronies Photo (2008)- L to R- Dr. Chet corbitt, Coach Smokey Gibson, Dick Klitch, Dave Miller, Paul Bierley and Jack Arthurs.
Rick Warren- E-mail Dave Miller
Subject: Rick Warren
Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE ' PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE' )
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,
'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said :
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy..
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always some thing bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self- centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, al l of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the chu rch had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quie t moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
God's Blessings on you today.
NOW. PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE ' PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE' )
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,
'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said :
People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy..
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always some thing bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self- centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.
Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, al l of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the chu rch had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quie t moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
God's Blessings on you today.
NOW. PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
Bad Food- Pat richards whitehead
Bad food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience:
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is
loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most
dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone
here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front
row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake?
A Doctor was addressing a large audience:
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is
loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most
dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone
here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and
suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front
row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake?
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