Awesome Machines ... Thx Clay V! Truly Awesome!

AWESOME MACHINES

  

  

http://www.safeshare.tv/w/LEFEsQlbSI

 

Older men scam ... Thx Tom Q!

Older Men Scam 
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.  This is the first warning I have seen for men.  I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.  

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, Publix, B.J.'s, or even Wal-Mart.  This one caught me totally by surprise.  Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.  Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.  Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
 
Here's how the scam works:    Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle.  They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.  (It's impossible not to look).  When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.
 
You agree and they climb into the vehicle.  On the way, they start undressing.  Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
 
I had my wallet stolen Aug. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th.  Also Sept. 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.  What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.  Warn your friends to be vigilant.
 
Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.  I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's.  I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.
 
So please, send this on to all the retired men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

Love among the animals ... Thx Jim Keg!

                                                 HAPPY MOMENTS!

  

Those fabulous Jewish Commedians ... Thx Pidge F!

> > *Those fabulous Jewish Comedians*
> > *the old Jewish Catskill comics*
> > *Of Vaudeville days:*
> > *Shecky Greene* *, *
> > *Red Buttons* *, *
> > *Totie Fields* *,*
> > *Joey Bishop* *, *
> > *Milton Berle* *,*
> > *Jan Murray* *, *
> > *Danny Kaye* *,*
> > *Henny Youngman* *, *
> > *Buddy Hackett* *,*
> > *Sid Caesar* *, *
> > *Groucho Marx,*
> > *Jackie Mason* *,*
> > *Woody Allen* *,*
> > *Lenny Bruce* *,*
> > *George Burns* *,*
> > *Allan Sherman* *,*
> > *Jerry Lewis, *
> > *Carl Reiner* *,*
> > *Shelley Berman* *, *
> > *Gene Wilder,*
> > *George Jessel* *,*
> > *Alan King,*
> > *Mel Brooks* *,*
> > *Phil Silvers* *,*
> > *Jack Carter* *, *
> > *Rodney Dangerfield* *, *
> > *Don Rickles* *,*
> > *Jack Benny*
> > *Mansel Rubenstein*
> > *And so many others.*
> > 
> > *There was not one single swear word in their comedy.*
> > 
> > *Here are a few examples:*
> > 
> > ** I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to 
> > the
> > airport.*
> > 
> > ** I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever 
> > finds out, she'll kill me!*
> > 
> > ** What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making
> love?
> > "Honey, I'm home!"*
> > 
> > ** Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't bereporting it. The 
> > thief spends less than my wife did.*
> > 
> > ** We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.*
> > *** *My wife and I went back to the*
> > *hotel where we spent our wedding night;*
> > * Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and
> > cried.*
> > 
> > *My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called 
> > it the Dead Sea .*
> > 
> > *She was at the beauty shop for two hours.* *That was only for the 
> > estimate.* *She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.* *Then 
> > the mud fell off.*
> > 
> > ** The Doctor gave a man six months to live.* *The man couldn't pay 
> > his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.*
> > 
> > ** **The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying,* *"Mrs. Cohen, your check 
> > came back. " * *Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"*
> > 
> > ** Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!"*
> > *Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"*
> > 
> > ** **Patient:* *"I have a ringing in my ears."*
> > *Doctor:* *"Don't answer!"*
> > 
> > ** A drunk was in front of a judge.*
> > *The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." * *The drunk 
> > says "Okay, let's get started."*
> > 
> > ** Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?* *They're worth it.*
> > 
> > *The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like 
> > Chinese food so much.* *The study revealed that this is due to the 
> > fact that **Won Ton* *spelled backward is **Not Now* *.*
> > 
> > *There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. * 
> > *In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it 
> > graduates from medical school.*
> > 
> > *Q:* *Why don't Jewish mothers drink? *
> > *A:* *Alcohol interferes with their suffering.*
> > 
> > *Q:* *Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?*
> > *A: **They never let anyone finish a sentence!*
> > 
> > *A man called his mother in Florida , *
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > *"Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very 
> > weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I 
> > haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't 
> > you eaten in
> > 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be 
> > filled with food if you should call."*
> > 
> > *A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a 
> > part in the play. * *She asks, "What part is it?"* *The boy says, "I 
> > play the part of the Jewish husband." * *"The mother scowls and says, 
> > "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."*
> > 
> > *Q:* *How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?*
> > *A:* *(Sigh)* *"Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be 
> > a nuisance to anybody."*
> > 
> > 
> > *Short summary of every Jewish holiday: *
> > 
> > *They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat. * *Did you hear about the 
> > bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said,* *"Lady, 
> > I haven't eaten in three days." * *"Force yourself," she replied.*
> > 
> > *Q:* *What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? 
> > *
> > *A:* *Eventually, the Rottweiler will let go.*
> > 
> > *Q:* *Why are Jewish men circumcised?*
> > *A:* *Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.* 
> > *Memories of the good ole days* *.*
> > 

I am with the Trump Team! I will vote for the Republican candidate! SamKat aka Sam Kegley

Welcome to Team Trump

Inbox

x

Donald J. Trump info@donaldtrump.com via sendgrid.net	10:19 AM (2 hours ago)
to me

DonaldJTrump.com

WELCOME TO TEAM TRUMP! Thank you for signing up to get involved with the campaign! It’s a long and challenging road to the White House and we need the help of our supporters. We need to make our country great again, bring back the American Dream, and create reforms to fix Washington. We are setting up state headquarters across the country and we will reach out to you when opportunities are available in your area. In the meantime, please help spread our message throughout your community and together we can Make America Great Again! Thank you for your support. We look forward to seeing you on the campaign trail soon. Sincerely, Team Trump

Paid for by Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.

Sam Kegley <skegley.kegley@gmail.com>	12:18 PM (1 minute ago)
to Donald

Please let me say this about Donald Trump.  He jumped in quickly and fast and made an impact, particularly with Christian conservatives like Tea Party People.

Donald is quick and fast and operates to win.  We love that most of all about the Donald!

I don't want him to change in that respect.  He obviously has scared the devil out of the Republican bigs, even Bill O'Reilly and his employees.  We still love them even knowing they are also rich. 

 I only want him to slow down enough to allow the republican media to catch up.  The Liberal side never will.  After all, they tolerate a destructive current pusa.  Getting our country back resonates!  His family members are decent people, even if they are so rich.  I like reading more of that.  

He loves people or else he wouldn't enter such a grueling  race.  So the people some very honest love in your person, the Donald. 

 I pray for the return of Christ in the Rapture and for the millennia of His rule in return to this world.  Only the Father and Son can love people as we need so badly.  

Republicans  must win in 2016, else obama has events set up so that he can become leader of the entire world, remaining Christians or Tea Partiers and innocents included.

Oh, Sarah R! These are ALL Funny!

Fwd: Some new and all funny

   

 

And ............. the very best for last,

Changed the world forEVER!