Your Yearly Dementia Test
It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin...
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else.. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2 Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.
4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven ..
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!
If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you...!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Bob Hope in Heaven... Thanks Patricia Whitehead!
Subject: Fw: Bob Hope in Heaven
BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN
For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents .
And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact , I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,
BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR
HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor Lord, the grace to see a joke and pass it on to others.
BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN
For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents .
And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact , I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,
BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR
HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor Lord, the grace to see a joke and pass it on to others.
The truth... Thanks Vices!
Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
It is now believed that Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.
It is now believed that Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.
Recycling: A crabby old m,an... Thanks Clay!
I LOVE THIS POEM, IT TELLS THE CIRCLE OF A MANS LIFE AND I AM APPROACHING THE FINAL STAGES.
C.V.
Subject: Fw: A Crabby Old Man
Old guys who know you still see the exceptionally good Portsmouth Clay basketball player and great girls' softball coach along with your wonderful wife, Carol, Mr. Vice! Thanks good friend!
Sam
Enjoy what you have today, for some day in the future you may be just like the Crabby Old Man....That day will be here before you realize it....for sure
A classic
CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin,
Saskatchewan , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . .. . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .. . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .. . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..
I'll tell you who I am. . . .. . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . .. . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . .. . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . .. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .. . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . .. . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . .. . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . ... . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . .. . Look closer . . . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.
C.V.
Subject: Fw: A Crabby Old Man
Old guys who know you still see the exceptionally good Portsmouth Clay basketball player and great girls' softball coach along with your wonderful wife, Carol, Mr. Vice! Thanks good friend!
Sam
Enjoy what you have today, for some day in the future you may be just like the Crabby Old Man....That day will be here before you realize it....for sure
A classic
CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Moosomin,
Saskatchewan , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Alberta.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . .. . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .. . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not .. . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .. . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me..
I'll tell you who I am. . . .. . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . .. . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . .. . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . .. And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . .. . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . .. My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .. . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . .. . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . .. . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . ... . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . .. . Look closer . . . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.
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