Universal laws ... thanks Luis Flores!

Universal Laws






Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.


UNIVERSAL LAWS:





1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee..



2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.



5.Law of the Alibi- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



6.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)..



7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



10. Law of bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.



12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Is this a great country or what? Yeah, Luis Flores!

Is this a great country or what??






Found in the parking lot of a grocery store, Menominee, Michigan



Is this a great country or what??






Found in the parking lot of a grocery store, Menominee, Michigan







The 1 in 7 Americans currently on food stamps certainly appreciate the opportunity to dine on lobster and porterhouse steak at YOUR EXPENSE.

What's for dinner at your house tonight?



How's that hope-y, change-y stuff working out for ya?

The 1 in 7 Americans currently on food stamps certainly appreciate the opportunity to dine on lobster and porterhouse steak at YOUR EXPENSE.

What's for dinner at your house tonight?



How's that hope-y, change-y stuff working out for ya?

(On our retirement income, Jeaine and I find it nearly as cheap to eat out as to eat at home.  We notice more and more black families, not just one or two persons per family, at each restaurant, moreso in the upscale places which we rarely make.  Do you suppose it might be food stamps?  It could help the "Ins" in 2012.

Sam

Go to Newsmax.com for these stories- SamKat

Newsmax Report #1


How Obama Tried to Silence Fox News

In this shocking cover story, we reveal the true nature behind Obama's animosity toward Fox News, earning us the prestigious Gold Eddie award for editorial excellence.



This exclusive Newsmax report explores:



The real reason Obama targeted Fox

Team Obama's secret weapons against the press

Glenn Beck vs. Obama: what really happened

How Obama's anti-Fox crusade boosted its ratings

Fox Chairman Roger Ailes' heroic role in defending a free press

The secret, fiery exchange between Ailes and Obama

The political sex scandal that ignited Fox's ratings boom

How Fox scooped the media on the ACORN videos

Why Obama agreed to a Bill O'Reilly interview

The Obama campaign's blatant threat over an NRA ad

Obama's campaign plane: "No room" for McCain backers

The Fox host who's the "prince of fairness" toward Obama

A litany of bipartisan slams on Obama's media policy

How CNN cornered Obama aide Valerie Jarrett on media bias

The Obama-Fox "peace talks" that failed

What the future holds for the Obama-Fox war

And more