HOW GRANDPARENTS ARE PERCEIVED1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story."What's it about?" he asked."I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."10.. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies?""It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked."Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties."They use him to keep crowds back," said one child."No," said another. "He's just for good luck.."A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE. IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!
Friday, January 31, 2014
How grandparents are perceived ... thx Marge R!
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Maps help you understand the world ... Thx Pidge F! of Portsmouth OH!
These are wonderfully informative, Pidge F! Thx a lot!
Maps to Help You Understand the World1. This map shows the world divided into 7 sections (each with a distinct color) with each section containing 1 billion people.2. This map shows (in white) where 98 percent of Australia's population lives.3. It may not come as a surprise but more people live inside the circle than outside of it.4. This map shows what is on the other side of the world from where you are standing. For the most part it will probably be water.5. Apparently you can't get Big Macs everywhere. This map shows (in red) the countries that have McDonalds.6. This map shows the countries (in blue) where people drive on the left side of the road.7. This map shows countries (in white) that England has never invaded. There are only 22 of them.8. The line in this map shows all of the world's Internet connections in 1969.9. This map shows the countries that heavily restricted Internet access in 2013.10. This map shows (in red) countries that were all Communist at one point in time.11. This map shows (in red) the countries that don't use the metric system.12. This map shows (in blue) places where Google street view is available.13. This map shows (in green) all the landlocked countries of the world.14. And this is what the world would look like if all the countries with coast lines sank.15. This is a map of the all the rivers in the United States.16. And these are all the rivers that feed into the Mississippi River.17. This is a map of the highest paid public employees in the United States.18. This map shows how much space the United States would occupy on the moon.19. This map shows the longest straight line you can sail. It goes from Pakistan all the way to Kamchatka Peninsula in Russia for a total of 20,000 miles.20. This is a map of 19th century shipping lanes that outlines the continents.21. This map shows (in navy blue) every country that has ever operated an aircraft carrier.22. This map highlights the countries (in red and orange) with the most skyscrapers.23. This map shows (in red, orange, and yellow) the world's largest donors of foreign aid with red being the biggest donor.24. This map shows the most photographed places in the world25. And this map shows all the places where you can get eaten by a Great White shark!
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