I hope nobody has done the idiotic things I have. Don't worry. I won't report mine.
SamKat
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented 20 cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
;
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ... and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Use it, please. In God We Trust
WE THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. WE'LL START WRITING IT ON THE FRONT OF OUR ENVELOPES, TOO! ----------Including Bills
You may have heard in the news that a couple of Post Offices in Texas have been forced to take down small posters that say
'IN GOD WE TRUST ,'
The law, they say, is being violated.
Anyway, we heard that we should all write
' IN GOD WE TRUST'
on the back of all our mail.
After all, that's our National Motto, and -----
all the money we use to buy stamps.
We think it's a wonderful idea.
We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed.
If you like this idea, please pass it on and DO IT. The idea of writing or stamping.........
'IN GOD WE TRUST '
on our envelopes sounds good to us
SOME PEOPLE ARE HAVING A STAMP MADE TOO........
lets use it as our signature on e-mails, too!
It's been reported that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, we have a very hard time understanding why there's such a mess about having '
In God We Trust!'
on our money and having God in the pledge of Allegiance.
Could it be that WE just need to take action and tell the 14% to 'sit down and shut up'?
If you agree, pass this on, if not, delete!!!
BUT REMEMBER IF YOU DELETE THIS,
that's one reason why this world is in the mess we're in now.
WE SIT BACK & LET IT HAPPEN!!
IN GOD WE TRUST -- I did!
You may have heard in the news that a couple of Post Offices in Texas have been forced to take down small posters that say
'IN GOD WE TRUST ,'
The law, they say, is being violated.
Anyway, we heard that we should all write
' IN GOD WE TRUST'
on the back of all our mail.
After all, that's our National Motto, and -----
all the money we use to buy stamps.
We think it's a wonderful idea.
We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed.
If you like this idea, please pass it on and DO IT. The idea of writing or stamping.........
'IN GOD WE TRUST '
on our envelopes sounds good to us
SOME PEOPLE ARE HAVING A STAMP MADE TOO........
lets use it as our signature on e-mails, too!
It's been reported that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, we have a very hard time understanding why there's such a mess about having '
In God We Trust!'
on our money and having God in the pledge of Allegiance.
Could it be that WE just need to take action and tell the 14% to 'sit down and shut up'?
If you agree, pass this on, if not, delete!!!
BUT REMEMBER IF YOU DELETE THIS,
that's one reason why this world is in the mess we're in now.
WE SIT BACK & LET IT HAPPEN!!
IN GOD WE TRUST -- I did!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thanks John bob Looney! Newly wed wife to husband
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he
returned from work: "I have great news for you.
Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house
instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and
kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the
happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this
way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in
with us."
returned from work: "I have great news for you.
Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house
instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and
kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the
happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this
way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in
with us."
Job of President outsourced to India- Terry Krause e-mail
Washington, DC -- June 28, 2009
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.
The
move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary,
and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead
that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.
It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the
President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost
savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We
cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of
cash
outlay," Reynolds noted. Mr. Obama was informed by email this morning of
his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai,
India will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr.
Singh
was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing
at
Niagara Falls, NY. Thus making him eligible for the position. He will
receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or
other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night.
"Working
nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call
center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be
President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may
not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should
not
be a problem as President Obama had never been familiar with the issues
either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses,
he can address common concerns without having to understand the
underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the
spokesperson.
"President Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result
that
some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be
eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed
limit.
Mr. Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of
Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming
job
transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Obama may have difficulties in
securing a
new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his
lifetime.
A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive
experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.
The
move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary,
and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead
that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.
It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the
President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost
savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We
cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of
cash
outlay," Reynolds noted. Mr. Obama was informed by email this morning of
his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai,
India will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr.
Singh
was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing
at
Niagara Falls, NY. Thus making him eligible for the position. He will
receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or
other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night.
"Working
nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call
center,"
stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be
President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may
not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should
not
be a problem as President Obama had never been familiar with the issues
either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses,
he can address common concerns without having to understand the
underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the
spokesperson.
"President Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result
that
some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be
eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed
limit.
Mr. Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of
Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming
job
transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Obama may have difficulties in
securing a
new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his
lifetime.
A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive
experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thanks Nita- Lamoin would support your thinking
NO ONE
falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one
stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one
falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE
If you love this man
please forward to 10 people.
He did
something for you,
now do something for Him.
Spread his word,
and you'll be rewarded.
How?
Matthew 10:32...
'Whoever acknowledges Me before men,
I will acknowledge him
before My Father in heaven.
But whoever disowns Me before men,
I will disown him
before My Father in heaven.'
falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one
stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one
falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE
If you love this man
please forward to 10 people.
He did
something for you,
now do something for Him.
Spread his word,
and you'll be rewarded.
How?
Matthew 10:32...
'Whoever acknowledges Me before men,
I will acknowledge him
before My Father in heaven.
But whoever disowns Me before men,
I will disown him
before My Father in heaven.'
Thanks Doug!
Thanks Doug!
Many libs will be happy to see the older conservatives pass away. We yet have right to be confidant in our fighting people, but will our beople have that "abounding detetrmination". And, can we really say so help us God when we aren't allowed to include God in anything and the supposed free world leader says we are not a Christian nation.
I believe there are enough of us still living that it could be repeated today, but how much longer?
Sam
--- Original Message -----
From: Doug Brooke
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Saturday, July 25, 2009 4:26 PM
Subject: Roosevelt Announced Pearl Harbor Attack
> >
> >
> > SHALL WE HIRE A
> > MONUMENT ENGRAVER TO GO TOTHE WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL
> > AND ADD THE MISSING WORDS?
> >
> >
> >
> > A MESSAGE FROM AN APPALLED OBSERVER:
> >
> >
> >
> > Today I went to visit the new World War II Memorial in
> > Washington , DC . I got an unexpected history lesson.
> > Because I'm a baby boomer, I was one of the youngest in
> > the crowd. Most were the age of my parents, Veterans of
> > 'The Greatest War,' with their families. It was a
> > beautiful day and people were smiling and happy to be
> > there.
> >
> >
> > Hundreds of us milled
> > around the memorial, reading the inspiring words of
> > Eisenhower and Truman that are engraved there..
> >
> >
> >
> > On the Pacific side of the memorial, a group of us gathered
> > to read
> > the words President Roosevelt used to announce the attack
> > on Pearl Harbor:
> >
> >
> >
> > "Yesterday, December 7, 1941-- a date which will live
> > in infamy--the United States of America was suddenly and
> > deliberately attacked."
> >
> >
> >
> > One elderly woman read the words aloud:
> >
> >
> >
> > "With confidence in
> > our armed forces, with the abounding determination of our
> > people, we will gain the inevitable triumph."
> >
> >
> >
> > But as she read, she was suddenly turned angry. "Wait
> > a minute," she said, "they left out the end of the
> > quote. They left out the most important part. Roosevelt
> > ended the message with 'so help us
> > God.'"
> >
> >
> >
> > Her husband said, "You are probably right. We're
> > not supposed to say things like that now."
> >
> >
> >
> > "I know I'm right," she insisted.. "I
> > remember the speech.." The two looked dismayed, shook
> > their heads sadly and walked away.
> >
> >
> >
> > Listening to their
> > conversation, I thought to myself, 'Well, it has been
> > over 50 years. She's probably forgotten.'
> >
> >
> > But she had not forgotten. She was right.
> >
> >
> >
> > I went home and pulled out the book my book club is reading
> > - "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley .
> > It's all about the battle at Iwo Jima .
> >
> >
> >
> > I haven't gotten too
> > far in the book. It's tough to read because it's a
> > graphic description of the WWII battles in the Pacific.
> >
> >
> >
> > But right there it was on page 58. Roosevelt 's speech
> > to the nation ends in 'So help us God.'
> >
> >
> >
> > The people who edited
> > out that part of the speech when they engraved it on the
> > memorial could have fooled me. I was born after the war! But
> > they couldn't fool the people who were there.
> >
> >
> >
> > Roosevelt's words
> > are engraved on their hearts.
> >
> >
> >
> > Now I ask: "WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THE WORDS
> > OF HISTORY?????????"
> >
> >
> >
> > Send this around to your friend s. People need to know
> > before everyone forgets..
> >
> >
> >
> > People today are trying to change the history of America
> > by leaving God out of it but the truth is God has
> > been a part of this nation since the beginning! He
> > still wants to be and He always will be!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > Please pass this on and God Bless YOU!!!
Many libs will be happy to see the older conservatives pass away. We yet have right to be confidant in our fighting people, but will our beople have that "abounding detetrmination". And, can we really say so help us God when we aren't allowed to include God in anything and the supposed free world leader says we are not a Christian nation.
I believe there are enough of us still living that it could be repeated today, but how much longer?
Sam
--- Original Message -----
From: Doug Brooke
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Saturday, July 25, 2009 4:26 PM
Subject: Roosevelt Announced Pearl Harbor Attack
> >
> >
> > SHALL WE HIRE A
> > MONUMENT ENGRAVER TO GO TOTHE WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL
> > AND ADD THE MISSING WORDS?
> >
> >
> >
> > A MESSAGE FROM AN APPALLED OBSERVER:
> >
> >
> >
> > Today I went to visit the new World War II Memorial in
> > Washington , DC . I got an unexpected history lesson.
> > Because I'm a baby boomer, I was one of the youngest in
> > the crowd. Most were the age of my parents, Veterans of
> > 'The Greatest War,' with their families. It was a
> > beautiful day and people were smiling and happy to be
> > there.
> >
> >
> > Hundreds of us milled
> > around the memorial, reading the inspiring words of
> > Eisenhower and Truman that are engraved there..
> >
> >
> >
> > On the Pacific side of the memorial, a group of us gathered
> > to read
> > the words President Roosevelt used to announce the attack
> > on Pearl Harbor:
> >
> >
> >
> > "Yesterday, December 7, 1941-- a date which will live
> > in infamy--the United States of America was suddenly and
> > deliberately attacked."
> >
> >
> >
> > One elderly woman read the words aloud:
> >
> >
> >
> > "With confidence in
> > our armed forces, with the abounding determination of our
> > people, we will gain the inevitable triumph."
> >
> >
> >
> > But as she read, she was suddenly turned angry. "Wait
> > a minute," she said, "they left out the end of the
> > quote. They left out the most important part. Roosevelt
> > ended the message with 'so help us
> > God.'"
> >
> >
> >
> > Her husband said, "You are probably right. We're
> > not supposed to say things like that now."
> >
> >
> >
> > "I know I'm right," she insisted.. "I
> > remember the speech.." The two looked dismayed, shook
> > their heads sadly and walked away.
> >
> >
> >
> > Listening to their
> > conversation, I thought to myself, 'Well, it has been
> > over 50 years. She's probably forgotten.'
> >
> >
> > But she had not forgotten. She was right.
> >
> >
> >
> > I went home and pulled out the book my book club is reading
> > - "Flags of Our Fathers" by James Bradley .
> > It's all about the battle at Iwo Jima .
> >
> >
> >
> > I haven't gotten too
> > far in the book. It's tough to read because it's a
> > graphic description of the WWII battles in the Pacific.
> >
> >
> >
> > But right there it was on page 58. Roosevelt 's speech
> > to the nation ends in 'So help us God.'
> >
> >
> >
> > The people who edited
> > out that part of the speech when they engraved it on the
> > memorial could have fooled me. I was born after the war! But
> > they couldn't fool the people who were there.
> >
> >
> >
> > Roosevelt's words
> > are engraved on their hearts.
> >
> >
> >
> > Now I ask: "WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THE WORDS
> > OF HISTORY?????????"
> >
> >
> >
> > Send this around to your friend s. People need to know
> > before everyone forgets..
> >
> >
> >
> > People today are trying to change the history of America
> > by leaving God out of it but the truth is God has
> > been a part of this nation since the beginning! He
> > still wants to be and He always will be!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > Please pass this on and God Bless YOU!!!
Thomas Jefferson- Ronnie Walters- Lifelong friend
Thanks Mr. walters, originally of Portsmouth OH, the Cultural Center of Our Universe:
It has been said the greatest volume of sheer brainpower in one place occurred when Jefferson dined alone ...
HOW DID JEFFERSON KNOW?
Especially read the last quote from 1802.
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe .
Thomas Jefferson
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the
government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:
'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered..'
'If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.'
-Mark Twain
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it - George Santayana
It has been said the greatest volume of sheer brainpower in one place occurred when Jefferson dined alone ...
HOW DID JEFFERSON KNOW?
Especially read the last quote from 1802.
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe .
Thomas Jefferson
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the
government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:
'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered..'
'If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.'
-Mark Twain
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it - George Santayana
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