Political correctness- Thanks Marge and Ken!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES. '



You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.



And, furthermore. ..




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -

She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

(Loved this one!)



3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -

She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '




4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -

She is a

'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'




5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'




6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:




1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...

He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'




2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'




3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '




4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'




5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS ' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

(Loved this one!)




6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's


'REAR CLEAVAGE.

Elitists and seniors- Thanks John and Yvette!

Obama recently approved a 2% salary increasefor all federal employees effective January 1, 2010. Members of the executive, legislative and judicial branch are due for an automatic 20% pay increase in January as well. All this on the backs of seniors who will not incur any COLA increases for several years.

For the first time in history, the Congress will not allow*
*an increase in the social security COLA (cost of living adjustment).*

*In fact, The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation predicts there may*
*not be any COLA for the next three years.

However, the per person monthly Medicare insurance premium, part B, will be increased from the 2009 premium of $96.40 to $104.20 in 2010 and to $120.20 for the year 2011.

Send this to all seniors you know. Remind them not to vote for any incumbent senator or representative. The only way we can take this country back is to clean out those who have become career politicians and are driving our republic into the ground.


I for one will sign my name to this list to show my complete disgust! WILL YOU? Bob Zimny Sarasota, Fl

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

The rest is just sand... Thanks Sharon and Roseann!

A wonderfully recyclable email, Sweet Sister Sharon and long lost (to me) Roseann. Thanks!

Sam TIO (The Innocent One)


----- Original Message -----
From:

Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 3:51 AM
Subject: Fwd: The Rest Is Just Sand





-----Original Message-----
From: Roseanne Evans





_____


Subject: Fw: The Rest Is Just Sand


The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it
was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a
unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space
between the sand. The students laughed.
Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health,
Friends and Favorite passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your
life
would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house and
car.
The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no
room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life..

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never
have room for the things that are important to you.
So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Sisters should be best buds even when you get on each other nerves, they
won't always be around. There will always be time to clean the house
and fix the disposal .

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.

The professor smiled... 'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend!!

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"
I just did......

Good'uns if not all new'uns Pat! Thanks,

Sam


----- Original Message -----
From: mjemshop@aol.com
To: mjemshop@aol.com
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 12:50 PM
Subject: New ones


Kids Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,
do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
_________________________________ _____

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
______________ ____________________


PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Thanks Dr. Hovermale. A life story at Christmas

Ralph, you give me some splendid emails! You and Patricia Richards Whitehead ar probably my best blog scouts for info.

Each of us Christians should try to do some similar, if not also so spectacular, thing for some truly in need person or group this year:



In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket.

Their father was gone.

The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two.

Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.

Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.

He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.

If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it.

I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town.

No luck.

The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.

Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop.

It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids.

She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning.

She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people.

I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night.

She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep

This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.

When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night.

As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.

The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires!

There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires.

Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.

I made a deal with the local service station..

In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office.

I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.

Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.

I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.

Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine.

The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.

I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.

Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box.

Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10!

I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.

Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.

And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.

And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....

THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. 'Yes!'
2. 'Not yet.'
3. 'I have something better in mind.'

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar.

You may be going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.

My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you.

Please pass this to at least four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me..

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards

Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power..
Amen.

I know I picked more than four, so can you.

Thanks agaion Dr. Hovermale! A quiet message

----- Original Message -----
From: Ralph Hovermale
To: Ralph Hovermale
Sent: Sunday, November 29, 2009 5:48 PM
Subject: listen for the pin


This excellent post came in from a friend today. Well said!

Regards,

Ralph





Subject: listen for the pin



You might like the following




At a time when our president and other politicians tend to apologize for our country`s prior actions, here`s a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our country. These are good

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaule decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded "does that include those who are buried here? DeGaule did not respond. You could have heard a pin drop

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders.
The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several
thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel
from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously."Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."
You could have heard a pin drop.

If you are proud to be an American, pass this on! If not, delete it. I am proud to be of this land, AMERICA

Thanks Dr. Hovermale! Transformation of our free country

The Fundamental Transformation of America

When Obama wrote a book and said he was mentored as a youth by Frank, (Frank
Marshall Davis) an avowed Communist, people said it didn't matter.

When it was discovered that his grandparents, were strong socialists, sent
Obama's mother to a socialist school, introduced Frank Marshall Davis to
young Obama, people said it didn't matter.

When people found out that he was enrolled as a Muslim child in school and
his father and step father were both Muslims, people said it didn't matter.

When he wrote in another book he authored "I will stand with them (Muslims)
should the political winds shift in an ugly direction." people said it
didn't matter.

When he admittedly, in his book, said he chose Marxist friends and
professors in college, people said it didn't matter.

When he traveled to Pakistan , after college on an unknown national
passport, people said it didn't matter.

When he sought the endorsement of the Marxist party in 1996 as he ran for
the Illinois Senate, people said it doesn't matter.

When he sat in a Chicago Church for twenty years and listened to a preacher
spew hatred for America and preach black liberation theology, people said it
didn't matter.

When an independent Washington organization, that tracks senate voting
records, gave him the distinctive title as the "most liberal senator",
people said it didn't matter.

When the Palestinians in Gaza , set up a fund raising telethon to raise
money for his election campaign, people said it didn't matter.

When his voting record supported gun control, people said it didn't matter.

When he refused to disclose who donated money to his election campaign, as
other candidates had done, people said it didn't matter.

When he received endorsements from people like Louis Farrakhan, Mohmar
Kadaffi and Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

When it was pointed out that he was a total, newcomer and had absolutely no
experience at anything except community organizing, people said it didn't
matter.

When he chose friends and acquaintances such as Bill Ayers and Bernadine
Dohrn who were revolutionary radicals, people said it didn't matter.

When his voting record in the Illinois senate and in the U.S. Senate came
into question, people said it didn't matter.

When he refused to wear a flag, lapel pin and did so only after a public
outcry, people said it didn't matter.

When people started treating him as a Messiah and children in schools were
taught to sing his praises, people said it didn't matter.

When he stood with his hands over his groin area for the playing of the
National Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance, people said it didn't matter.

When he surrounded himself in the White house with advisors who were pro gun
control, pro abortion, pro homosexual marriage and wanting to curtail
freedom of speech to silence the opposition people said it didn't matter.

When he aired his views on abortion, homosexuality and a host of other
issues, people said it didn't matter.

When he said he favors sex education in Kindergarten, including homosexual
indoctrination, people said it didn't matter.

When his background was either scrubbed or hidden and nothing could be found
about him, people said it didn't matter.

When the place of his birth was called into question, and he refused to
produce a birth certificate, people said it didn't matter.

When he had an association in Chicago with Tony Rezco, a man of questionable
character, who is now in prison and had helped Obama to a sweet deal on the
purchase of his home, people said it didn't matter.

When it became known that George Soros, a multi-billionaire Marxist, spent a
ton of money to get him elected, people said it didn't matter.

When he started appointing czars that were radicals, revolutionaries, and
even avowed Marxist/Communist, people said it didn't matter.

When he stood before the nation and told us that his intentions were to
"fundamentally transform this nation" into something else, people said it
didn't matter.

When it became known that he had trained ACORN workers in Chicago and served
as an attorney for ACORN, people said it didn't matter.

When he appointed cabinet members and several advisors who were tax cheats
and socialist, people said it didn't matter.

When he appointed a science czar, John Holdren, who believes in forced
abortions, mass sterilizations and seizing babies from teen mothers, people
said it didn't matter.

When he appointed Cass Sunstein as regulatory czar and he believes in
"Explicit Consent", harvesting human organs, without family consent, and to
allow animals to be represented in court, while banning all hunting, people
said it didn't matter.

When he appointed Kevin Jennings, a homosexual, and organizer of a group
called gay, lesbian, straight, Education network, as safe school czar and it
became known that he had a history of bad advice to teenagers, people said
it didn't matter.

When he appointed Mark Lloyd as diversity czar and he believed in curtailing
free speech, taking from one and giving to another to spread the wealth and
admires Hugo Chavez, people said it didn't matter.

When Valerie Jarrett was selected as Obama's senior White House advisor and
she is an avowed Socialist, people said it didn't matter.

When Anita Dunn, White House Communications director said Mao Tse Tung and
Mother Theresa were two of her favorite philosophers and the persons she
turned to most for inspiration, people said it didn't matter.

When he appointed Carol Browner as global warming czar, and she is a well
known socialist working on Cap and trade as the nation's largest tax, people
said it doesn't matter.

When he appointed Van Jones, an ex-con and avowed Communist as green energy
czar, who since had to resign when this was made known, people said it
didn't matter.

When Tom Daschle, Obama's pick for health and human services secretary could
not be confirmed, because he was a tax cheat, people said it didn't matter.

When as president of the United States , he bowed to the King of Saudi
Arabia , people said it didn't matter.

When he traveled around the world criticizing America and never once talking
of her greatness, people said it didn't matter.

When his actions concerning the middle-east seemed to support the
Palestinians over Israel , our long time friend, People said it doesn't
matter.

When he took American tax dollars to resettle thousands of Palestinians from
Gaza to the United States , people said it doesn't matter.

When he upset the Europeans by removing plans for a missile defense system
against the Russians, People said it doesn't matter.

When he played politics in Afghanistan by not sending troops the Field
Commanders said we had to have to win, people said it didn't matter.

When he started spending us into a debt that was so big we could not pay it
off, people said it didn't matter.

When he took a huge spending bill under the guise of stimulus and used it to
pay off organizations, unions and individuals that got him elected, people
said it didn't matter.

When he took over insurance companies, car companies, banks, etc. people
said it didn't matter.

When he took away student loans from the banks and put it through the
government, people said it didn't matter.

When he designed plans to take over the health care system and put it under
government control, people said it didn't matter.

When he set into motion a plan to take over the control of all energy in the
United States through Cap and Trade, people said it didn't matter.

When he finally completed his transformation of America into a Socialist
State , people finally woke up........ but, it was too late.

Any one of these things, in and of themselves does not really matter.
But.... when you add them up one by one you get a phenomenal score that
points to the fact that our Obama is determined to make America over into a
Marxist/Socialist society. All of the items in the preceding paragraphs have
been put into place. All can be documented very easily. Before you disavow
this, do an internet search. The last paragraph alone is not yet cast in
stone. You and I will write that paragraph. Will it read as above or will it
be a more happy ending for most of America ? Personally, I like happy
endings.

If you are an Obama Supporter, please do not be angry with me because I
think your president is a socialist. There are too many facts supporting
this. If you seek the truth you will be richer for it. Don't just belittle
the opposition. Search for the truth. I did. Democrats, Republicans,
Independents, Constitutionalist, Libertarians and what have you, we all need
to pull together. We all must pull together or watch the demise of a society
that we all love and cherish. If you are a religious person, pray for our
nation.

Never before in the history of America have we been confronted with problems
so huge that the very existence of our country is in jeopardy. Don't rely on
most television news and what you read in the newspapers for the truth.
Search the internet. Yes, there is a lot of bad information, lies and
distortions there too but you are smart enough to spot the fallacies.
Newspapers are a dying breed. They are currently seeking a bailout from the
government. Do you really think they are about to print the truth? Obama
praises all the television news networks except Fox who he has waged war
against. There must be a reason. He does not call them down on any
specifics, just a general battle against them. If they lie, he should call
them out on it but he doesn't. Please, find the truth, it will set you free.


Our biggest enemy is not China , Russia , or Iran ; no, our biggest enemy is
a contingent of politicians in Washington DC