Another Interesting Dick Klitch Story
Dick and I meet for breakfast fairly often . Monday, August 23, it was at Spiro’s on McKinley just above Fifth Ave. From there, I go on down to Columbus State Community College to tutor math. Dick and I grew up in Mound Park in Portsmouth Ohio and have maintained our friendship throughout our adult lives.
Dick related another of his bits of wisdom in this story. I call Dick the “Dean” of tennis teaching pros in Columbus Ohio and he is widely appreciated in Columbus, Huntington WV and Portsmouth OH for his “meat and potatoes“ teaching skills. Jeanie and I witnessed his excellent teaching up close and personally as we watched him give a lesson to our fourteen year old granddaughter, Tobey Kegley, in early August.
This story was about one of his tennis teaching young pros he had working with him. He thought the young fellow may have had some promise so he assigned him to present a series of instructional clinics for some of Columbus’ most influential ladies who lived in Bexley, the well to do and mainly Jewish suburb in Columbus.
After the clinics proceeded, Dick had heard some rumblings and became a little uneasy about the progress. A couple of the ladies came to Dick and told him that he must do something to change the course of the instructions. “All the young pro wants to do is talk and that is how he conducts the clinics. We also were interested in hitting tennis balls in improving our games.”
Dick called the pro in and asked him how it was going. The man thought it was going ok. Dick then told him of hearing complaints and told him what the complaints were. Sensing no remorse from the recipient, Dick issued him a moratorium: “You have one more clinic to do and if it doesn’t go better, it will be your last for me.” The young fellow left and was not at all happy with the warning. However, he apparently did some soul searching and improved his teaching performance.
Dick also related that he had probably saved the gentleman’s life in a round about way. Dick had each of his teaching pros undergo a physical. The doctor conducting the physical had the patients fill out a seven page history. An input that his glove size kept changing rapidly tipped the doctor to have him further examined for a suspected disease. The results indicated the man had acromegaly (see below) and Dick referred it as a disease in which the extremities become far stronger, in proportion, than the other parts of the body. Reportedly, Andre the Giant, the 7 foot four inch wrestler, had the disease referenced to as gigantism. Besides physical discomforts, it can possibly lead to early death. A surgeon recommended a delicate surgery whereby an operating instrument was inserted up and under the facial skin to a place under the upper forehead to repair the pituitary gland in the brain.
Dick remembered that he had noticed the extreme strength of the fellow’s handshake when he first met him. He was only about five foot nine, but the size of his hands and his grip was extraordinary beyond expectations, particularly for a man of his stature. Dick is six foot four.
The operation was successful and the gentleman is still among us as he ages now. The fellow was later hired as a Midwest university tennis coach, thanks to Dick’s recommendation to the Athletics Director.
______________
Acromegaly
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
 This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (May 2008)
Acromegaly
Classification and external resources
Acromegaly (pronounced /ˌækrɵˈmɛɡəli/; from Greek άκρος akros "extreme" or "extremities" and μεγάλος megalos "large") is a syndrome that results when the pituitary gland produces excess growth hormone (hGH) after epiphyseal plate closure at puberty. A number of disorders may increase the pituitary's GH output, although most commonly it involves a GH producing tumor called pituitary adenoma, derived from a distinct type of cell (somatotrophs).
Acromegaly most commonly affects adults in middle age,[1] and can result in severe disfigurement, serious complicating conditions, and premature death if unchecked. Because of its insidious pathogenesis and slow progression, the disease is hard to diagnose in the early stages and is frequently missed for many years, until changes in external features, especially of the face, become noticeable.
Acromegaly is often also associated with gigantism.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Sixtieth PHS Reunion Aug 27 & 28 Shawnee Lodge
This is it. PHS '50' and their sixtieth reunion tonight and tomorrow night at the Shawnee Lodge. Gwili Fisher has always arranged this reunion so well and we look forward to the same this year.
SOME of these people are getting old. You may have heard that before at some close years' similar reunions. In the casae of the 50 class they have just got better, not older. At least that is what we tell ourselves.
Sam
SOME of these people are getting old. You may have heard that before at some close years' similar reunions. In the casae of the 50 class they have just got better, not older. At least that is what we tell ourselves.
Sam
Remember to vote in November! Thanks Judi Cole!
Subject:
Retribution is less than 5 months away!
Take a look at this and just remember elections in November 2010.
1. U..S. House & Senate have voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises.
2. They voted toNOTgive you a S.S. Cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011.
3. Your Medicare premiums will go up $285..60 for the 2-years
4. You will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr.
5. Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife.
6. Over these same 2-years each Congress person will get $10,000
7. Do you feel used?
8. Will they have your cost of drugs - doctor fees - local taxes - food, etc., decrease?
9. NO WAY.
Congress received a raise and has better health and retirement benefits than you or I.
Why should they care about you?
You never did anything about it in the past.
Send the message to these individuals --- "YOU'RE FIRED!"
In 2010 you will have a chance to get rid of the sitting Congress: up to 1/3 of the Senate and 100% of the House!
Make sure you're still mad in November 2010 and remind their replacements not to screw-up.
It is ok to forward this to your sphere of influence if you are finally tired of the abuse. Maybe it's time for Amendment 28 to the Constitution.
"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."
Let's get this passed around, folks - these people in Washington have brought this upon themselves! It's time for retribution. Let's take back America .
If you don't forward this to all your friends you're just part of the problem of national apathy.
Retribution is less than 5 months away!
Take a look at this and just remember elections in November 2010.
1. U..S. House & Senate have voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises.
2. They voted toNOTgive you a S.S. Cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011.
3. Your Medicare premiums will go up $285..60 for the 2-years
4. You will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr.
5. Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife.
6. Over these same 2-years each Congress person will get $10,000
7. Do you feel used?
8. Will they have your cost of drugs - doctor fees - local taxes - food, etc., decrease?
9. NO WAY.
Congress received a raise and has better health and retirement benefits than you or I.
Why should they care about you?
You never did anything about it in the past.
Send the message to these individuals --- "YOU'RE FIRED!"
In 2010 you will have a chance to get rid of the sitting Congress: up to 1/3 of the Senate and 100% of the House!
Make sure you're still mad in November 2010 and remind their replacements not to screw-up.
It is ok to forward this to your sphere of influence if you are finally tired of the abuse. Maybe it's time for Amendment 28 to the Constitution.
"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."
Let's get this passed around, folks - these people in Washington have brought this upon themselves! It's time for retribution. Let's take back America .
If you don't forward this to all your friends you're just part of the problem of national apathy.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
This year's Darwin awards Thanks Tom & Carolyn!
----- Original Message -----
From: Tom and Carolyn Lynch
Sent: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 21:12
Subject: FW: This year's Darwin nominees are:
This year's Darwin nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns , 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger , 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.? A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson , managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor , 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM . Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [ Reuters , Mississauga , Ontario ]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. " Stefan Macko , 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis , 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip.. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder .
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
Every day above ground is a good day! Better to be seen, than viewed
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5397 (20100825) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
From: Tom and Carolyn Lynch
Sent: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 21:12
Subject: FW: This year's Darwin nominees are:
This year's Darwin nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns , 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , MI , was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [ Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger , 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton , NC . Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.? A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson , managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk , IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor , 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM . Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [ Reuters , Mississauga , Ontario ]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. " Stefan Macko , 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis , 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip.. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder .
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
Every day above ground is a good day! Better to be seen, than viewed
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5397 (20100825) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Recall- Thanks Judi cole!
Very good, Judi!
Thanks!
Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: judith Cole
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 20:39
Subject: Recall Notice
Well done!
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Thanks!
Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: judith Cole
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 20:39
Subject: Recall Notice
Well done!
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Boy do I agree! ! ! Thanks Clay Vice!
Boy do I agree !!!!
"
Great grandfathers watched as their friends died in the Civil War.
My father watched as his friends died in WW II.
And I watched as my friends died in Vietnam.
None of them died for the Mexican Flag. Everyone died for the American flag.
Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.
California high school students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.
Enough is enough.
This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every American needs to stand up for America.
We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand.
I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the American flag.
If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know. I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.
And shame on anyone who tries to make this message racist.
AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS!
Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:
1. Get a sponsor!
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past!
3. Live by OUR rules!
4. Get a job!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
6. No Social Security until you have earned it and paid for it !
7. NOW find a place to lay your head!
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !
We've gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend anyone.
Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !
WAKE UP, America ! ! !
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5356 (20100810) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
"
Great grandfathers watched as their friends died in the Civil War.
My father watched as his friends died in WW II.
And I watched as my friends died in Vietnam.
None of them died for the Mexican Flag. Everyone died for the American flag.
Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.
California high school students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.
Enough is enough.
This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every American needs to stand up for America.
We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand.
I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the American flag.
If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know. I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.
And shame on anyone who tries to make this message racist.
AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS!
Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:
1. Get a sponsor!
2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past!
3. Live by OUR rules!
4. Get a job!
5. Pay YOUR Taxes!
6. No Social Security until you have earned it and paid for it !
7. NOW find a place to lay your head!
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !
We've gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend anyone.
Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !
WAKE UP, America ! ! !
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 5356 (20100810) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
Old People- Risque from friend Joihn Bob Looney
God Bless you and have a great day!
---
----- Original Message -----
Subject: Fw: OLD PEOPLE
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE.
THEY MAKE SUCH PERFECT SENSE OUT OF EVERYTHING!!!
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far &
would just walk home.
On the way, he stopped at the hardware store & bought a bucket & a gallon
of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store & picked up a couple of chickens & a
goose.
However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem - how to
carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady
who told him she was lost.
She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to
that house.
I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm & carry the
goose in your other hand?"
"Why, thank you very much", he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl
home.
On the way he says, "Let's take a short cut & go down this alley. We'll
be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely
widow w/out a husband to defend me.
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against
the wall, pull up my skirt, & have your way w/me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of
paint, 2 chickens & a goose.
How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall & do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him w/the bucket, put
the paint on top of the bucket, & I'll hold the chickens ."
---
----- Original Message -----
Subject: Fw: OLD PEOPLE
THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE.
THEY MAKE SUCH PERFECT SENSE OUT OF EVERYTHING!!!
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far &
would just walk home.
On the way, he stopped at the hardware store & bought a bucket & a gallon
of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store & picked up a couple of chickens & a
goose.
However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem - how to
carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady
who told him she was lost.
She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to
that house.
I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot."
The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm & carry the
goose in your other hand?"
"Why, thank you very much", he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl
home.
On the way he says, "Let's take a short cut & go down this alley. We'll
be there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, "I am a lonely
widow w/out a husband to defend me.
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against
the wall, pull up my skirt, & have your way w/me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes, lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of
paint, 2 chickens & a goose.
How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall & do that?"
The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him w/the bucket, put
the paint on top of the bucket, & I'll hold the chickens ."
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