o and bush and two ladies on a train

Sitting together on a train were Obama, George W. Bush, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.



The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.



When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.




No one speaks.



The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.



The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.




Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.








George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the crap out of Obama again!!



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The lawyer and the senior... Thanks Lou Flores!

There are a few  good lawyers and many shysters.  My lawyer friends are the good ones.  You people probably know the rest of them.  Nonetheless whatever you have done in life as a senior, you may have picked up a clue now and then.

Sam


Lawyer vs Senior Citizen















Respect your elders…









A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.



The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.







So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.



The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.



The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.



This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.



The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"



The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.



Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"



The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.



He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.



He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.



The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"



The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.



You know you're going to send this one on.

To all my family and friends... Thanks Joann Hensley!

Subject: To all My Family & Friends





A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.



Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.



He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."



One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.



Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.



By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.



Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.



A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.



Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!



When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.



Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"



All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"



When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.



The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!



His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.



"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.



Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.



All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"



* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation



So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Think about this for a minute....

If I happened to show up on your door step crying, would you care?

If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?

If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of that last day?

If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?

This is a test to see who your real

friends are or if you are just someone to talk to you when they are bored.



Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?

They blink together,

they move together,

they cry together,

they see things together,

and they sleep together,

but they never see each other;

....that's what friendship is..

Your aspiration is your motivation,

your motivation is your belief,

your belief is your peace,

your peace is your target,

your target is heaven,and life is like hard core torture without it!



It's 'World Best Friends Week'



Who is your best friend?



Send this to all your good friends, even me, if I am one of them.

See how many you get back.



If you get more than 3 then you really are a lovable person...



Save the Earth.... it's the only planet with chocolate!!!!

Rod Kinskey- Ideal Milk- Thanks Jack H plymale!

Sam, By some standards it may be a crappy little town , but it's our crappy little town and if I didn't love it so much and feel such gratitude for having been raised there and educated there; I wouldn't be so sad about the straights in which it now finds itself. I had a note from Rod Kinskey today in which he related advise from his Economic Geography professor at OSU about the upcomming economic retrenchment in southern Ohio. This was probably 60 years ago Several years, after, when he was about to sell his interest in The Ideal milk Company to his brother, everyone told him he was crazy, that he had it made,A genius frat bro of ours told him that if he could get out and be half way happy,,,, go. He sold and went to Wyoming, bought a small dairy there and a very small chain of convenience stores. When he retired , a few years back, he sold his entire operation to a Kroger subsidiary. a very large dairy and 116 convenience stores. Of course he had the well known German work ethic and Dr. John Pfahl, the genius frat bro, remained an advisor through the years. By the way Rod was Capt. of central catholics football team in 1943. Jack P.

More Portsmouth Sports- Thanks Clay Vice!

Thanks Clay!




Bill Collier was a neighbor who lived at Grant and McConnell, Clay. That was the top of McConnell which ended at Mound Park. The Kegley clan poopulated the lower block of McConnell Ave. I also worked a while with Bill at Williams Shoe Co. He was a really nice, Little- Abner- looking guy. He taught school in Grove City, but I have lost track of him now.



Harvey Walker was a pretty fair plitcher in the late forties district tournaments at the park and my brother, Jim, became friends with him later in life. I watched those games too.





----- Original Message -----

From: Clay Vice

To: Sam "Kat " Kegley

Sent: Saturday, February 05, 2011 09:39

Subject: Fw: Columbus Dispatch Front Page on Chicago vs. Ports,mouth Spartans 1932 Championship game.





HEY SAM, JUST A LITTLE SIDE NOTE THAT YOU SHOULD REMEMBER. IN 1948 THE WAS ANOTHER FOOTBALL LEAGUE STARTED, BUT I DON'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE LEAGUE. PORTSMOUTH HAD A TEAM IN IT, IT WAS A SEMI PRO LEAGUE AND THEY WENT BY THE NAME OF THE PORTSMOUTH SPARTANS. MY DAD BOUGHT ME A SEASON TICKET AND I REMEMBER GOING TO WATCH THEM PLAY AND TWO OF THE PLAYERS ON THAT TEAM THAT I REMEMBER WERE HARVEY WALKER AND BILL COLLIER, THOSE TWO WERE FROM THE EAST END OF TOWN WHERE I GREW UP, SO THAT HOW I REMEMBER THEM. ALSO THAT SAME YEAR THE CLEVELAND INDIANS WERE PAYING IN THE WORLD SERIES AND LOU BOUDREAU PLAYED SHORTSTOP AND WAS ALSO THE MANAGER.

CLAY VICE

P.S. THE ONLY OTHER TEAM I CAN REMEMBER IN THIS LEAGUE WAS THE IRONTON TANKS.

More on Portsmouth - Jack H Plymale

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Cpolumbus Dispatch front page 2011 02 05-Spartans

Most Portsmouthites probably see the Columbus dispatch, but you should visit this morning's front page.  I haven't read the story but I didn't enjoy one pic caption's reference to "little crappy town".  Small towns all over America enjoyed their sports esp;ecially throughout the twentieth century.  Portsmouth was a tough town with a tough professional football team. 

I was born in 1932 after the Spartans became the Detroit Lions, and as a blue collar worker's, but a great man's son, I will always love Portsmouth, Ohio. 

Read on, friends, especially Jim Fout (Ashland, KY and  Jack H Plymale (Costa Rica):

Note also:  There are a few pictures included which you should get the Disppatch to see.  I'll try to add the pics a little later this morning.

Sam


A footnote in NFL lore

Sunday's extravaganza between the Packers and Steelers is a direct descendant of a little-known title game in1932 between the chicago Bears and the Spartans Of Portsmouth,Ohio

Saturday, February 5, 2011 02:50 AM

By Todd Jones



The Columbus Dispatch

PrO FOOTBALL HALL OF FAME

Portsmouth's 3-year-old NFL team lost to the Bears in 1932 in an unscheduled title game forced indoors by a winter storm in Chicago. The league's first postseason game broke a tie atop the standings; its success during the Depression prompted an annual title game.

BROOKE L aVALLEY
DISPATCH

Spartan Municipal Stadium, named a state historical site in 2003, should be preserved, says the Portsmouth Spartans Historical Society. Envisioning ghosts of pros of 80 years ago are, from left, Randy Nickles, Paul O'Neill and Jim Kennedy.

Pro Football Hall of Fame

The 1932 NFL playoff drew 11,000 fans indoors to Chicago Stadium to see the Bears defeat the Portsmouth Spartans 9-0 on an 80-yard field. Excited by the size of the crowd, owners of the 10 teams created two divisions for the 1933 season to allow for an annual title game.

BROOKE L aVALLEY

DISPATCH

A NFL logo is taped to the refrigerator in the Portsmouth stadium's visitors locker room. The aging structure is still used for football, but razing it has been discussed.

PORTSMOUTH, Ohio - Once home to an NFL team, the simple structure now looks its age of 81 years. The concrete grandstands are cracked and chipped. Wrought-iron gates creak when opened. Rust stains the light poles. The weathered Spartan Municipal Stadium is an antithesis of the gleaming, $1.2 billion football palace in Arlington, Texas, that will host Super Bowl XLV between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers on Sunday.

Although the 3 million-square-foot Cowboys Stadium reflects today's NFL and its annual revenue of $7.8billion, Portsmouth's old field by an Ohio River floodwall is a testament to the league's humble, small-town roots.

Spartan Municipal Stadium was home to the Portsmouth Spartans when they played in the fledgling NFL for four seasons, beginning in 1930, at a time when the league's office was in Downtown Columbus.

Hear the sound of a nearby train, and you can imagine those Spartans traveling to Chicago to play for the NFL championship on Dec.18, 1932. They didn't call it the Super Bowl or even a championship game when visiting Portsmouth lost to the Chicago Bears in the league's first postseason game.

Two years later, the Spartans left town. The NFL churned on, leaving behind an era when Ohio had nine cities with franchises - including Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Toledo, Dayton, Akron, Canton and LaRue - playing in the league at various times from 1920 to 1934.

Proud history at Spartan Municipal Stadium provides visitors with brief refuge from the harsh economic realities that have ravaged once-booming Portsmouth, the seat of Scioto County, and its 11.7 percent unemployment rate.

Visitors gaze at the footprints on the snow-covered field about 90 miles south of Columbus and see the ghosts of leather-helmeted players taking Portsmouth to the precipice of a world championship.

"It makes you proud to say that this little, crappy town once had an NFL team that played with the big boys," said Jim Kennedy, a member of the Portsmouth Spartans Historical Society.

Hard times in town

A tattered American flag flies above the tallest building in downtown Portsmouth, where voters overwhelmingly decided in December to recall Mayor Jane Murray in the first year of a term that began with her firing several city administrators.

She is the second mayor since 2004 to be recalled in financially strapped Portsmouth, which is battling dysfunction on many levels.

Portsmouth's population topped 42,000 when the Spartans played here.

Today, about 21,000 live in the city. Chipped paint and boarded-up storefronts on Chillicothe Street, the city's main thoroughfare, scar a place once known as the "Peerless City" because it had everything going for it.

Portsmouth's steel and other manufacturing industries created so much optimism in 1929 that residents voted to fund a bond issue to build a new football stadium, which enabled the Spartans to join the NFL a year later.

Two years after that, Portsmouth and Chicago ended the regular season with the same winning percentage; at the time, the NFL used that statistic - ties didn't count - to determine its champion. NFL president Joe Carr, a Columbus native, honored the requests of the Bears (6-1-6) and Spartans (6-1-4) to decide the 1932 championship on the field.

Bears owner George Halas and Spartans owner Harry Snyder also hoped another gate receipt would help their teams' red-ink finances, hurt by the Depression. Each winning player received $240; losers were paid $175.

Portsmouth could afford to take only 16 players to Chicago. The Spartans were missing Earl "Dutch" Clark, their quarterback, punter and kicker. The future Pro Football Hall of Fame enshrinee didn't play because the game wasn't on the regular schedule, and he had already committed to coach basketball at Colorado College.

"That says a lot about pro football at the time," said Joe Horrigan, vice president at the Pro Football Hall of Fame. "He got paid more to coach basketball."

An unusual title game

A stench literally surrounded the NFL's first postseason game.

The Spartans and Bears were scheduled to play at Wrigley Field, but a winter storm blew in. Fearing a small crowd because of the inclement weather, Halas moved the game indoors to Chicago Stadium, which had dirt and dung on its floor from hosting a circus a few days earlier.

"The players said you could smell that there had been animals in there," said Chris Willis, head of the research library at NFL Films and author of Old Leather, an oral history of early football in Ohio.

Sod, bark and wood shavings were added to the dirt "field," which was shortened to 80 yards because of the arena's configuration. Players said footing was treacherous. Both offenses were slowed by the conditions, and field goals weren't allowed because of the low-hanging ceiling.

Portsmouth squandered two chances for first-half touchdowns. The game was scoreless in the fourth quarter when two NFL legends hooked up for Chicago: Bronko Nagurski threw a 2-yard TD pass to Red Grange.

The Spartans argued to no avail that Nagurski had broken a rule in place then that passes had to be thrown from at least 5 yards behind the line of scrimmage. Chicago later added a safety for a 9-0 win.

The Bears, however, weren't officially awarded the championship until two months later at a league meeting.

Team owners, still buzzing about how the Portsmouth-Chicago game drew 11,000 fans, wanted a repeat in the 1933 season. So the 10-team league split into eastern and western divisions, with the winners meeting in an official NFL championship game. Today, it's the Super Bowl.

The owners also adopted three rules changes because of the Portsmouth-Chicago playoff game. They moved the goal posts up to the goal line, allowed passers to throw from anywhere behind the line of scrimmage, and established hash marks for field position.

"That game in particular opened their eyes to make the game more entertaining and different than the college game," said Willis, a Columbus native.

A more-open style of play came too late to save the Spartans. They had battled financial woes since operating as a semipro team in 1929 and joining the NFL a year later. The team faced a $27,000 debt after two seasons.

"It was the height of the Depression, and people couldn't pay for tickets," Willis said. "Unfortunately, there weren't enough fans in Portsmouth."

Desperate for revenue, the Spartans scheduled a game in December 1933 against the Pittsburgh Pirates (now the Steelers) to be played in Columbus at Red Bird Stadium (now Cooper Stadium). An ice storm canceled the game. Portsmouth never played another official one.

A radio executive bought the franchise for $16,000 in 1934. The Spartans moved to Detroit and were renamed the Lions, leaving Green Bay as the NFL's only small-market team.

Detroit won the 1935 NFL championship with the Spartans' former coach, Potsy Clark. Many of that team's players were once cheered in Portsmouth, where time is melting their legend.

"I work with a lot of young guys," Kennedy said, "and when I tell them we had an NFL team, they say, 'What?'"

New stadiums elsewhere

Numerous metal signs throughout downtown point visitors to Front Street, where civic pride sparkles along a 2,000-foot stretch of concrete wall.

Portsmouth put murals on the floodwall in the early 1990s to depict the city's history, and the 20-by-35-foot paintings give life and color to the nearby small, vibrant section of town called the Historic Boneyfiddle District.

One of the 66 murals is of another famous 1932 game in which Clark defiantly refused to substitute as his Spartans beat the defending NFL champion Packers. Recently, however, that depiction of players in the "The Iron Man Game" had to be temporarily removed because of water damage.

While the Spartans' mural awaits new paint, the Super Bowl buildup rages on in Texas. The mega-event's flash is reflected in the shiny buildings of downtown Dallas, not far from where the Packers and Steelers will play in a game projected to generate $600 million for that area's economy.

Our nation is riveted by the Super Bowl: Last year's game was the most-watched American television program in history, drawing 106.5million viewers. Places such as Portsmouth grapple with the cold, hard reality of outsiders' lack of interest.

The city reportedly has a $1.2 million deficit. Last year, the water and sewer systems fell out of compliance with environmental regulations. Black mold was discovered in the city building. Portsmouth had three major water-main breaks in December.

"We're in disarray," said Paul O'Neill, a member of the Portsmouth Spartans Historical Society, as he stood in empty Spartan Municipal Stadium on a gray winter day.

The NFL's past swirled around him. Dutch Clark and Gene Alford played on this field. So did Roy "Father" Lumpkin, so tough that he refused to wear a helmet, and Glenn Presnell, an All-Pro who died in 2004 at age 99, the last of the Spartans.

Beyond the concrete grandstand, where fans cheered the Spartans to a 19-2-4 home record in their four NFL seasons, lies the faded downtown of Portsmouth, once a leading U.S. shoe producer that also had a bevy of steel mills and the largest railroad yard east of the Mississippi.

"We don't even have a department store here anymore," Kennedy said. "If you need cologne, you've got to go to Columbus."

Portsmouth factories closed in the 1970s. The steel industry suspended local operations in 1981. Marting's, a 100-year-old family-owned retailer, went out of business. The old Norfolk & Western rail depot was torn down, as were several other landmarks.

"Most towns try to preserve that stuff. Portsmouth just levels it," Kennedy said.

In recent years, city officials have debated razing Spartan Municipal Stadium because of safety concerns and upkeep costs.

A short drive away is the new Portsmouth High School football stadium, opened in 2009 as part of an athletic complex built by the school system. Most of its $10 million cost was covered by a private donation from the Clark Foundation.

"This is where the $10million should have gone - to refurbish this place," Kennedy said as he stood inside Spartan Municipal Stadium, designated a state historical site in 2003.

The city-owned facility remains the 6,287-seat site of home games of Portsmouth Notre Dame High School and a semipro football team from across the river in Kentucky.

And it's where some men go to see the past to smile in the present.

"Everybody thinks new is better," O'Neill said. "Man, just look at the history here."

tjones@dispatch.com