Sent: Wed, Jun 8, 2011 10:19 pm
Subject: Re: Marital Bliss
Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year,
And every year Bill would say,
" Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "
Blanche always replied,
" I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 85 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Blanche replied,
" Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
" Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks,
but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed! "
Bill replied,
" Well, to tell you the truth
I almost said something when Blanche fell out,
but you know,
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Grandma's apron... Thanks Pat Whitehead!
Sent: Tue, June 7, 2011 11:41:45 PM
Subject: FW: Grandma's Aprons
Love it!! This one is great!!
Notice that a "Medium" is a size 14 - 16
Remember making an apron in Home Ec? Read below:
The History of 'APRONS'
I don't think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow,
bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the autumn, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill
to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, there will be peace!!!!!!!!
Subject: FW: Grandma's Aprons
Love it!! This one is great!!
Notice that a "Medium" is a size 14 - 16
Remember making an apron in Home Ec? Read below:
The History of 'APRONS'
I don't think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow,
bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the autumn, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill
to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, there will be peace!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Women... Thanks Carol & Clay Vice!
God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you
NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you
into the person you were meant to be.(this is so true!!! :>)
LOVE YOU!!!!! NOW YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK!!!!
IN 9 MINUTES SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY, Time starts counting after you read the One Flaw in Women
BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL 9 SISTERS YOU LOVE THEM INCLUDING ME.. GO!!!!
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours...
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give..
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Please pass this along to all your
women friends and relatives to remind them just
how amazing they are.
NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you
into the person you were meant to be.(this is so true!!! :>)
LOVE YOU!!!!! NOW YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK!!!!
IN 9 MINUTES SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY, Time starts counting after you read the One Flaw in Women
BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL 9 SISTERS YOU LOVE THEM INCLUDING ME.. GO!!!!
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours...
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give..
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Please pass this along to all your
women friends and relatives to remind them just
how amazing they are.
Short and sweet... Thanks Judi Cole!
He speaks out of both sides of his mouth!!
Interesting results when people take the time to look it up.
OBAMA'S OWN WORDS TRAP HIM:
2008: "Navy Seal Team 6 is Cheney's private assassination team."
2011: "I put together Seal Team 6 to take out Bin Laden."
2008: "Bin Laden is innocent until proven guilty, and must be captured alive and given a fair trial."
2011: "I authorized Seal Team 6 to kill Bin Laden."
2008: " Guantanamo is entirely unnecessary, and the detainees should not be interrogated."
2011: "Vital intelligence was obtained from Guantanamo detainees that led to our locating Bin Laden."
--
"Thanking Obama for killing Osama bin Laden is like going into McDonald's and thanking Ronald McDonald for your hamburger.
You should be thanking the guy that actually cooked the hamburger, rather than giving credit to the clown!"
Interesting results when people take the time to look it up.
OBAMA'S OWN WORDS TRAP HIM:
2008: "Navy Seal Team 6 is Cheney's private assassination team."
2011: "I put together Seal Team 6 to take out Bin Laden."
2008: "Bin Laden is innocent until proven guilty, and must be captured alive and given a fair trial."
2011: "I authorized Seal Team 6 to kill Bin Laden."
2008: " Guantanamo is entirely unnecessary, and the detainees should not be interrogated."
2011: "Vital intelligence was obtained from Guantanamo detainees that led to our locating Bin Laden."
--
"Thanking Obama for killing Osama bin Laden is like going into McDonald's and thanking Ronald McDonald for your hamburger.
You should be thanking the guy that actually cooked the hamburger, rather than giving credit to the clown!"
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Blonde Mortician... Thanks Jim Kegley!
Subject: BLONDE MORTICIAN
JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE.........
BLONDE MORTICIAN
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE.........
BLONDE MORTICIAN
A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!)
Dave Koss Thanks Ramey!
Who? David Koss. Still not ringing a bell? That is to be expected because in the world of politics, Koss is a complete nobody. An unknown.
An explanation is in order.
David E. Koss is a 42-year-old bachelor. He has no family. There is a question if he is Republican or a Democrat. It is not clear if he is even registered to vote. And, if so, in which state is he registered? His political positions on the major issues of the day are not publicly known. But he does have at least one admirable trait as will be explained shortly.
Koss is a commander in the U.S. Navy. He graduated from the Naval Academy in 1991 and is currently eligible to retire from the Navy with 20 years of service. He is also a fighter pilot and, until last week, he was the flight leader and commanding officer of the Navy's Flight Demonstration Squadron, more popularly known as the "Blue Angels."
As the world's premier flight demonstration team the Blue Angels have been impressing audiences since 1946. To date, nearly one-half billion people have watched the Blue Angels perform. About eight million witnessed their aerobatics last year.
The mission of the Blue Angels is to showcase the skills of Navy and Marine Corps aviators as an aid in recruiting.
Koss viewed his selection just over a year ago to become the next commanding officer of the Blue Angels as a dream come true. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," he explained earlier this spring.
He was no different from countless other young boys who watched the Blue Angels perform when they were youngsters. It became his lifelong ambition to join the Blue Angels. Of course, he had to pay his dues along the way.
First, he had to join the Navy, gain a commission as an officer, get selected for flight training, and transition into fixed-wing tactical aircraft. Fighters, specifically. Then he had to rise through the ranks and assume command of a fighter squadron. He had to demonstrate the acumen as a premier naval aviator just to merit consideration.
He did all of the above. Eventually, he became an F/A-18 Hornet pilot. Hornets are the Navy's primary carrier-based jet that performs the dual-role of being an attack and fighter aircraft.
Before he joined the Blue Angels last September, Koss was the commanding officer of Navy Strike-Fighter Squadron (VFA)-14, the "Tophatters," based at Naval Air Station Lemoore, California. VFA-14 is one of the Navy's oldest aviation squadrons that dates back to the earliest days of naval aviation. The unit is nearly a century-old. It most recently deployed with the USS Nimitz (CVN-68) and its carrier air wing in support of U.S. operations in Afghanistan.
Koss had over 3,000 flight hours and he conducted more than 740 aircraft carrier landings. His personal decorations include the Bronze Star, Defense Meritorious Service Medal, two Air Medals with combat V, four Air Medals, two Navy-Marine Corps Commendation Medals, the Joint Achievement Medal and various campaign and unit awards. He is a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom.
This is what is so admirable about Koss. Last week, he resigned from the Blue Angels, the job he spent his entire adult life working toward. In a statement he said he was guilty of "not meeting the airborne standard that makes the Blue Angels the exceptional organization that it is."
During the May 22 demonstration at the Lynchburg, VA Regional Air Show, the Blue Angels performed a maneuver in which several aircraft flew below the "hard deck," the minimally-acceptable altitude. The flight demonstration team immediately ended the remainder of its performance and returned to home base at Naval Air Station Pensacola, FL to immediately commence a "safety stand-down." No one was injured and no equipment was damaged.
As the squadron's commanding officer, Koss did what he believed to be the proper and honorable thing. He offered his resignation. It was accepted.
It is the extremely rare occurrence when someone holds themselves to the highest of standards and then resigns when failing to meet them.
Washington, D.C. would look a lot different if our elected officials did likewise.
Vote Dave Koss for president. What do we have to lose?
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
An explanation is in order.
David E. Koss is a 42-year-old bachelor. He has no family. There is a question if he is Republican or a Democrat. It is not clear if he is even registered to vote. And, if so, in which state is he registered? His political positions on the major issues of the day are not publicly known. But he does have at least one admirable trait as will be explained shortly.
Koss is a commander in the U.S. Navy. He graduated from the Naval Academy in 1991 and is currently eligible to retire from the Navy with 20 years of service. He is also a fighter pilot and, until last week, he was the flight leader and commanding officer of the Navy's Flight Demonstration Squadron, more popularly known as the "Blue Angels."
As the world's premier flight demonstration team the Blue Angels have been impressing audiences since 1946. To date, nearly one-half billion people have watched the Blue Angels perform. About eight million witnessed their aerobatics last year.
The mission of the Blue Angels is to showcase the skills of Navy and Marine Corps aviators as an aid in recruiting.
Koss viewed his selection just over a year ago to become the next commanding officer of the Blue Angels as a dream come true. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," he explained earlier this spring.
He was no different from countless other young boys who watched the Blue Angels perform when they were youngsters. It became his lifelong ambition to join the Blue Angels. Of course, he had to pay his dues along the way.
First, he had to join the Navy, gain a commission as an officer, get selected for flight training, and transition into fixed-wing tactical aircraft. Fighters, specifically. Then he had to rise through the ranks and assume command of a fighter squadron. He had to demonstrate the acumen as a premier naval aviator just to merit consideration.
He did all of the above. Eventually, he became an F/A-18 Hornet pilot. Hornets are the Navy's primary carrier-based jet that performs the dual-role of being an attack and fighter aircraft.
Before he joined the Blue Angels last September, Koss was the commanding officer of Navy Strike-Fighter Squadron (VFA)-14, the "Tophatters," based at Naval Air Station Lemoore, California. VFA-14 is one of the Navy's oldest aviation squadrons that dates back to the earliest days of naval aviation. The unit is nearly a century-old. It most recently deployed with the USS Nimitz (CVN-68) and its carrier air wing in support of U.S. operations in Afghanistan.
Koss had over 3,000 flight hours and he conducted more than 740 aircraft carrier landings. His personal decorations include the Bronze Star, Defense Meritorious Service Medal, two Air Medals with combat V, four Air Medals, two Navy-Marine Corps Commendation Medals, the Joint Achievement Medal and various campaign and unit awards. He is a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom.
This is what is so admirable about Koss. Last week, he resigned from the Blue Angels, the job he spent his entire adult life working toward. In a statement he said he was guilty of "not meeting the airborne standard that makes the Blue Angels the exceptional organization that it is."
During the May 22 demonstration at the Lynchburg, VA Regional Air Show, the Blue Angels performed a maneuver in which several aircraft flew below the "hard deck," the minimally-acceptable altitude. The flight demonstration team immediately ended the remainder of its performance and returned to home base at Naval Air Station Pensacola, FL to immediately commence a "safety stand-down." No one was injured and no equipment was damaged.
As the squadron's commanding officer, Koss did what he believed to be the proper and honorable thing. He offered his resignation. It was accepted.
It is the extremely rare occurrence when someone holds themselves to the highest of standards and then resigns when failing to meet them.
Washington, D.C. would look a lot different if our elected officials did likewise.
Vote Dave Koss for president. What do we have to lose?
This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Quiz
New High School Exit Exam, you only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass.
(Passing requires only 4 correct answers also available in Spanish too)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ...
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert
8) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too.
(And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)
Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too .
(Passing requires only 4 correct answers also available in Spanish too)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ...
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert
8) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed?
Me, too.
(And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)
Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too .
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