Subject: Kentucky Priorities
The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first woman, as President of the United States.
A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father in Kentucky and says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'
'I don't think so. It's a long drive, your mother isn't as young as she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.'
'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'
'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?'
Oh Dad, she replies, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in New York.
'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.'
The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York and I’ll ensure your meals are salt free. Dad, I really want you to come.'
So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, arrives to see his daughter sworn in as President of the United States.
In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom. Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States.’
The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'
Dad says proudly, 'Her brother played basketball at UK.'
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A soldier died today... Thanks Clay!
He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.
And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew whereof he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For old Mike has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.
He won’t be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.
He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Soldier died today.
When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.
Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Someone who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?
The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.
While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.
It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.
Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?
Or would you want a Soldier--
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end?
He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.
If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A SOLDIER DIED TODAY."
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.
Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.
And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew whereof he spoke.
But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For old Mike has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Soldier died today.
He won’t be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.
He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Soldier died today.
When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.
Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Soldier
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.
Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Someone who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?
Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?
The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.
While the ordinary Soldier,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.
It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.
Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?
Or would you want a Soldier--
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Soldier,
Who would fight until the end?
He was just a common Soldier,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his like again.
For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Soldier's part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.
If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.
Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A SOLDIER DIED TODAY."
Friday, June 10, 2011
Monopoly game and its history Thanks Marge and Nana!
Sometimes when I sent emails out I get back a few emails from people that show the email was only partly right... I do not like snopes because they do not always have the "truth"... 8) so the next best thing is do a web search...and I did...so be it! This is true.
Click on to see mention in history of WWII....
Monopoly (game) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape...
Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.
Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were located. When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.
As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war.
The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail Free' card!
I realize most of you are (probably) too young to have any personal connection to WWII (Dec. '41 to Aug. '45), but this is still interesting.
Click on to see mention in history of WWII....
Monopoly (game) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape...
Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush.
Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were located. When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.
As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war.
The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail Free' card!
I realize most of you are (probably) too young to have any personal connection to WWII (Dec. '41 to Aug. '45), but this is still interesting.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Elvis... Thanks John Robert Looney!
________________
Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in
Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation.
He has never been married and he is curious as to what an
American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to
the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound
for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up
to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew
you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"
Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you
see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis."
The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in
his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby,
"Take me to my hotel and step on it."
The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's
Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan!
It's so great to see you!"
"Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and
drive!" So the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley
gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk.
"You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved
everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers,
peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches, masseurs,
complementary hookers and a full liquor bar!
I'm so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says,
"Thank you.. Thank you very much!"
Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in
Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation.
He has never been married and he is curious as to what an
American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to
the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound
for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up
to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew
you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"
Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you
see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis."
The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in
his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby,
"Take me to my hotel and step on it."
The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's
Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan!
It's so great to see you!"
"Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and
drive!" So the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley
gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk.
"You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved
everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers,
peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches, masseurs,
complementary hookers and a full liquor bar!
I'm so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says,
"Thank you.. Thank you very much!"
The mechanic makes more than $39,000 today and the Cardiologist is rarely the surgeon. This is, nonetheless, a good story, although the heart is isolated on a by-pass machine while the critical heart operation proceeds. I have had two four-by-pass operations with great admiration for the heart mechanics!
A good vehicle mechanic will just not get equivalent pay.
A MECHANIC WAS REMOVING A CYLINDER HEAD FROM THE ENGINE OF A HARLEY
MOTORCYCLE WHEN HE SPOTTED A WELL KNOWN CARDIOLIGIST IN HIS SHOP.
THE CARDIOLOGIST WAS THERE WAITING FOR THE SERVICE MANAGER TO COME
AND TAKE A LOOK AT HIS BIKE WHEN THE MECHANIC SHOUTED ACROSS THE
GARAGE, "HEY DOC, WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS?"
THE CARDIOLOGIST, A BIT SURPRISED, WALKED OVER TO WHERE THE MECHANIC WAS
WORKING ON THE MOTORCYCLE, THE MNECHANIC STRAIGHTED UP, WIPED HIS HANDS
ON A RAG AND ASKED, "SO DOC, LOOK AT THIS ENGINE. I OPEN ITS HEART, TAKE THE
VALVES OUT, REPAIR ANY DAMAGE, AND THEN PUT THEM BACK IN, AND WHEN I FINISH,
IT WORKS JUST LIKE NEW. SO HOW COME I MAKE $39,000 A YEAR AND YOU GET
$800,000, WHEN YOU AND I ARE DOING BASICALLY THE SAME WORK?"
THE CARDIOLOGIST PAUSED, SMILED AND LEANED OVER , THEN WHISPERED TO THE
MECHANIC............."TRY DOING IT WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING."
A good vehicle mechanic will just not get equivalent pay.
A MECHANIC WAS REMOVING A CYLINDER HEAD FROM THE ENGINE OF A HARLEY
MOTORCYCLE WHEN HE SPOTTED A WELL KNOWN CARDIOLIGIST IN HIS SHOP.
THE CARDIOLOGIST WAS THERE WAITING FOR THE SERVICE MANAGER TO COME
AND TAKE A LOOK AT HIS BIKE WHEN THE MECHANIC SHOUTED ACROSS THE
GARAGE, "HEY DOC, WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS?"
THE CARDIOLOGIST, A BIT SURPRISED, WALKED OVER TO WHERE THE MECHANIC WAS
WORKING ON THE MOTORCYCLE, THE MNECHANIC STRAIGHTED UP, WIPED HIS HANDS
ON A RAG AND ASKED, "SO DOC, LOOK AT THIS ENGINE. I OPEN ITS HEART, TAKE THE
VALVES OUT, REPAIR ANY DAMAGE, AND THEN PUT THEM BACK IN, AND WHEN I FINISH,
IT WORKS JUST LIKE NEW. SO HOW COME I MAKE $39,000 A YEAR AND YOU GET
$800,000, WHEN YOU AND I ARE DOING BASICALLY THE SAME WORK?"
THE CARDIOLOGIST PAUSED, SMILED AND LEANED OVER , THEN WHISPERED TO THE
MECHANIC............."TRY DOING IT WITH THE ENGINE RUNNING."
Warm and fuzzy rereun from friend Bob Looney!
Sent: Wed, Jun 8, 2011 10:19 pm
Subject: Re: Marital Bliss
Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year,
And every year Bill would say,
" Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "
Blanche always replied,
" I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 85 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Blanche replied,
" Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
" Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks,
but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed! "
Bill replied,
" Well, to tell you the truth
I almost said something when Blanche fell out,
but you know,
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
Subject: Re: Marital Bliss
Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year,
And every year Bill would say,
" Blanche, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "
Blanche always replied,
" I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 85 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Blanche replied,
" Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
" Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks,
but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed! "
Bill replied,
" Well, to tell you the truth
I almost said something when Blanche fell out,
but you know,
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
Grandma's apron... Thanks Pat Whitehead!
Sent: Tue, June 7, 2011 11:41:45 PM
Subject: FW: Grandma's Aprons
Love it!! This one is great!!
Notice that a "Medium" is a size 14 - 16
Remember making an apron in Home Ec? Read below:
The History of 'APRONS'
I don't think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow,
bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the autumn, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill
to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, there will be peace!!!!!!!!
Subject: FW: Grandma's Aprons
Love it!! This one is great!!
Notice that a "Medium" is a size 14 - 16
Remember making an apron in Home Ec? Read below:
The History of 'APRONS'
I don't think our kids
know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow,
bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the autumn, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill
to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, there will be peace!!!!!!!!
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