New Poster Thanks Sonny!

Thomas Jefferson ... Thanks Dr. Hovermale!

Subject: Thomas Jefferson ...


Thomas Jefferson



This is amazing. There are two parts. Be sure to read the 2nd part (in RED).



Thomas Jefferson was a very remarkable man who started learning very early in life and never stopped.



At 5, began studying under his cousin's tutor.



At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French.



At 14, studied classical literature and additional languages.



At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.



At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under George Wythe.



At 23, started his own law practice.



At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.



At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America ” and retired from his law practice.



At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.



At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence .



At 33, took three years to revise Virginia 's legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.



At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia , succeeding Patrick Henry.



At 40, served in Congress for two years.



At 41, was the American minister to France , and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.



At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.



At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society.



At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions, and became the active head of Republican Party.



At 57, was elected the third president of the United States .



At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase , doubling the nation's size.



At 61, was elected to a second term as President.



At 65, retired to Monticello .



At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.



At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia , and served as its first president.



At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence, along with John Adams



Thomas Jefferson knew because he himself studied the previous failed attempts at government. He understood actual history, the nature of God, his laws and the nature of man. That happens to be way more than what most understand today. Jefferson really knew his stuff. A voice from the past to lead us in the future:



John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the white House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."



"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe ." -- Thomas Jefferson



"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."



-- Thomas Jefferson



"It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world."



-- Thomas Jefferson



"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." -- Thomas Jefferson



"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." -- Thomas Jefferson



"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson



"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."



-- Thomas Jefferson



"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson



"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical."



-- Thomas Jefferson



Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:



"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.



If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property - until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."



I wish we could get this out to everyone!!!

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If you forward this email, please use Bcc for new addresses and Please Remove my email address first.

New way of stealing ... thanks Ralph!

I only worry that we may be teaching criminals sometiomes with these 'tips' Doc!

Sam


New way of STEALING...




ESPECIALLY LOOK AT SCENE THREE...



Be sure to read Scene 3. Quite interesting. This is a new one..

People sure stay busy trying to cheat us don't they?



SCENE 1.



A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker...

Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.



Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...



A few weeks later his credit card bill came - a whooping bill of $14,000!

He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.



Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system and

asked if his card had been stolen...



'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.



An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet..

The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.



Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.



How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy? $9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies. It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!



============================



SCENE 2.



A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.



The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.



Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.

He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.



She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man.



All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier,

and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.

No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology...



Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.



Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away

for even a short period of time.



Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.



FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!



==========================



SCENE 3: This one took me by surprise. I would never thought to check on this



Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.



I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking Account.



The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.



While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing

I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.



Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.

He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.

It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close

attention to what he is doing.. He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.

About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.

Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.



Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone,

I probably would never have known what happened.



Needless to say, I immediately cancelled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlor



All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.



Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.

Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.

Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.





FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE



AS YOU CAN THINK OF. LET'S GET THE WORD OUT! JUST BE AWARE



Never let your card out of your sight.....check and check again!

Check your vehicle door handles ... thanks Terri Kusner!

What will they think of next!



Wednesday, I approached my truck from the passenger side

To place my computer bag (aka my man purse) in the

Front passenger seat.



As I reached to open the door I noticed there was a hole right under my door handle.

My first thought was, "someone has shot my truck !"

I began to think about it and inspect it a little closer and the "light" slowly began to come on.



I phoned my friend who owns a body shop and asked if he had any vehicles with damage to the doors that

Looked like a bullet hole.



"Yes, I see it all the time. Thieves have a punch and

Place it right under the door handle, knock a hole through, reach in and unlock it, just as if they have a key.



No alarms, broken glass or anything.



I then placed a call to my insurance agent and

Explained it to him I was puzzled that they left my GPS

And all other belongings. Here is where it gets scary !



"Oh no, he said, they want the break-in to be so subtle

That you don't even realize it.



They look at your GPS to see where "home" is.



Now they know what you drive, go to your home, and

If your vehicle isn't there they assume you aren't and

Break in your home."



He says they will even leave a purse or wallet and only

Take one or two credit cards.



By the time you realize there has been a theft,

They may have already had a couple days

Or more to use them.



I didn't realize my situation for two full days!



They even give you the courtesy of re-locking

Your doors for you.



Periodically walk around your car, daily if you are

In a shopping center or other parking area.



Report thefts immediately....

Your bank w/missing check numbers,

Your credit card agencies, police,

And insurance companies, etc.

( Below is picture of what the hole looks like )

Tradition ... Thanks Clay Vice!

The Baptist Cowboy

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.





The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."



The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."



The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.



The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.



One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."



The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.



"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."



"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

Thanks Judi Cole ... Author dave Barry describes his colonoscopy

That isn't me laughing Judi, although this is very funny.  After going through my last of several colonoscopies during my lifetime, the doctor couldn't learn much because he discovered I have a floppy colon.  I have vowed not to go through that experience again and will take the floppy colon with me when I die at 95.

Sam


I'm still laughing!

ABOUT THE WRITER

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.



Colonoscopy Journal:



I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.



A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.





Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.



I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'



I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.... I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.



I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.



Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.



Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep... You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat shit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon…



The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'



This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.



MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.



After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.



The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.



At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked...



Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.



When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.



Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.



There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.



'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.



'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.



I have no idea.. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.



Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.





On the subject of Colonoscopies.....

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:



1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'



2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'



3.. 'Can you hear me NOW?'



4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'



5.. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'



6.. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'



7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out....'



8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'



9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'



10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'



11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'



12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'



And the best one of all:

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

When your hut is burning ... Thanks good friend!

When your Hut is on fire...

There are times when it seems that everything goes wrong—almost like God has forgotten you (though we KNOW that He hasn’t)! Read on……

When Your Hut's On Fire



The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story:

It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering.

Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground.

It just may be a smoke signal that summons

the Grace of God.



P.S. Consider passing this on, because you never know who feels as if their hut is on fire today..