Class and ass ... Thanks Doug!

Rather easy to understand the difference!! And isn't that the truth......... George W. Bush speech after capture of Saddam Hussein: The success of yesterday's mission is a tribute to our men and women now serving in Iraq. The operation was based on the superb work of intelligence analysts who found the dictator's footprints in a vast country. The operation was carried out with skill and precision by a brave fighting force. Our servicemen and women and our coalition allies have faced many dangers in the hunt for members of the fallen regime, and in their effort to bring hope and freedom to the Iraqi people. Their work continues, and so do the risks. Today, on behalf of the nation, I thank the members of our Armed Forces and I congratulate them. And now, let's hear from the Ass: Barack Hussein Obama speech, Sunday, May 1, 2011: And so shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of my war against al Qaeda, even as I continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network. Then, last August, after years of painstaking work by my intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that I had enough intelligence to take action, and I authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice. Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.

Are you smarter than a sixty year opld ... Thks T & C!

Are you smarter than a 60 year old? THIS WAS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.....THE ANSWERS WERE ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE....I REMEMBERED, BUT ............ DON'T LOOK BELOW FOR THE ANSWERS UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED IT OUT A TEST FOR 'OLDER' KIDS. I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually remember. So have some fun my sharp-witted friends. This is a test for us 'older kids'! The answers are printed below, (after the questions) but don't cheat! answer them first..... 01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________. 02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. .In early 1964, we all watched them on The _____________ Show. 03. 'Get your kicks, __________________.' 04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.' 05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.' 06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.' 07. Nestle's makes the very best . . . . _______________.' 08. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________. 09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________. 10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________.' 11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________. 12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ &_______________. 13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to ___________________. 14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________. 15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __ ______________. ANSWERS : 01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet. 02. The Ed Sullivan Show 03. On Route 66 04. To protect the innocent 05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight 06. The limbo 07. Chocolate 08. Louis Armstrong 09.The Timex watch 10. Freddy The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.' 11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed.) 12. Beetle or Bug 13. Buddy Holly 14. Sputnik 15. Hoola-hoop Send this to your 'older' friends, (Better known as Seniors.) It will drive them crazy! And keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes

Great recycle from great friends! Thanks T & C!

---

From: cbandsue@portsmouthinsurance.com
To: mail.com
Subject: FW: Fwd: Making a Bus!
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2012 16:19:13 -0500

Making a Baby.... This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny! The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me.. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted

The entire campaign in 1 cartoon Thanks Jackie B.!

From: Allan Oxley

Sent: Monday, February 06, 2012 12:32 PM

To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;

Subject: The entire campaign in 1 cartoon

AMEN

The entire campaign in 1 cartoon "The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living."

Seniors and computers ... Thanks Lyle!

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired,
'An, ID ten T error ? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned .... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before ?

'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down:

ID10T

I used to like Eric, the little shit head.

Air Force One- Arrogance and extravagance

Air Force One - Just The Facts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's hard to believe that CBS actually said something that wasn't flattering to this so-called President ! Air Force One: This is from Mark Knoller of CBS. The pilots and crew of Air Force One are flying more hours than a rookie on a beer run. They are tired of it too, and are adding more crew to Air Force-1, - I know this for a fact because I'm one of the instructors that trains the crews. Our company (Atlas Air) has had the Air Force-1 and E-4 contract for over two years and I've been doing it for about 8 months now. Last year (2010) Obama f lew in Air Force One 172 times, almost every other day. White House officials have been telling reporters in recent days that the Democrat doesn't intend to hang around the White House quite so much in 2011.They explain he wants to get out more around the country because, as everyone knows, that midterm election shellacking on Nov. 2 had nothing to do with his health care bill, over-spending or other policies, and everything to do with Obama's not adequately explaining himself to his countrymen and women. And with about 300 days remaining in Obama's never ending presidential campaign, the incumbent's travel pace will not likely slacken. At an Air Force-estimated cost of $181,757 per flight HOUR (not to mention the additional travel costs of Marine One, Secret Service, logistics and local police overtime), that's a lot of frequent flier dollars going into Obama's carbon footprint. $8 Million every time it lands & takes off. We are privy to some of these numbers thanks to CBS' Mark Knoller, a bearded national treasure trove of presidential stats. According to Knoller's copious notes, during the last year, Obama made 65 domestic trips over 104 days, and six trips to eight countries over 22 days. Not counting six vacation trips over 32 days. He took 196 helicopter trips, signed 203 pieces of legislation and squeezed in 29 rounds of left-handed golf. Obama last year gave 491 speeches, remarks or statements. That's more talking than goes on in some entire families, at least from fatherly mouths. In fact, even including the 24 days of 2010 that we never saw Obama in public, his speaking works out to about one official utterance every 11 waking hours. Aides indicate the "Real Good Talker" believes we need more. Related: Obama spends nearly half his presidency outside Washington , plans to travel more. Related: Vacationer-in-Chief Spends $1.75 Million to Visit Hawaiian Chums. Obama has spent over $100 million taxpayer dollars flying around in Air Force One, and probably another $100 million on his entourage. Obama is just another tin-pot dictator living lavishly at the expense of his subjects. And we seniors have to "tighten our belts" Please get out & vote this year ! We have got to get rid of this idiot !

One of Maxine's very best ... thanks Bob L.!

 One of Maxine's very best!!
> Minorities
>
>
> We need to show more sympathy for these people.
> * They travel miles in the heat.
> * They risk their lives crossing a border.
> * They don't get paid enough wages.
> * They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
> * They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language.
> * They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day ~ every day..
>
> I'm not talking about illegal Mexicans ~
> I'm talking about our troops!
> Doesn't it seem strange that so many are willing to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our troops?
>
> Wouldn't it be great if we took the $360,000,000,000 (that's billion) we waste on illegals every year, and spend it on our troops!!!
>
> Please pass this on; this is worth the short time it takes.
>
> A veteran is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to‘The United States of America ’ for any amount, up to and including their life.