Don't let the mundane get you down ... Thx Marge R!

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been
married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided
to amaze our men by greeting them at the door
wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he
found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you..' Then we made passionate love all night long.      The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and
mask over my eyes.. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word,
but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night. 
   Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said 

   "What's for dinner, Batman ?

Puppies for sale- love is free! Thx Paul C!

A  farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge  of His yard. As he was  driving the last nail into the post, he felt  a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little  boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from  fine parents and cost a good deal of  money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would. With that the little boy stepped back from the fence,
Reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of  people who need someone who understands.

It's National Friendship  Week.

Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
As well as those who WERE!!!
If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have
A circle of friends.

Farm boy solution- Maybe a tad too sharp, Paul C, but just a nano-tad ... Thx!

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Farm boy Solution: I really like the gasoline part at the end!!!  farmer’s rules for: Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho and Virginia: 1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.  2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.  3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.  4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.  5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.  6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.  7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.  8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.  9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.  10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.  11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.  12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!  13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.  14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks and a dang site more fun to watch.  15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.  16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!  A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!  And there is more.............  The FARMER’S Solution to save Gasoline.  OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use.....  The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!  That would be 15 million less people using our gas.  The price of gas would come down.....  Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders.... When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Afghanistan ....  Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military....  Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it......  After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.....  He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident...... This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. ......  If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway,without the canteen, rifle or ammo.  Problem solved..... If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends...........  I just did..........                         ----- End forwarded message ----- Click here to Reply or Forward HawaiianAir.com - Escape to Waikiki Beach Living in the moment on the Island of Oahu begins on Hawaiian Airlines. Why this ad?Ads – 2.85 GB (18%) of 15 GB used Manage ©2013 Google - Terms & Privacy Last account activity: 1 minute ago Details

Paul Claxon Show details Ads HawaiianAir.com Escape to Waikiki Beach Living in the moment on the Island of Oahu begins on Hawaiian Airlines. More Promotions (9) Get Your Education Degree Earn a Masters Degree at a Distance Online. Grand Canyon University. GCU.edu/EduMasters Citi ThankYou® Cards Earn 2x Points on Select Purchases On Dining Out and Entertainment! www.citicards.com/Thankyou Get Your Veteran ID Card Largest US Veteran Website ID card Benefits, discounts & service pride www.VetFriends.com Barko Industrial Mulchers High Power & Unique Design Means Lowest Total Work Cost in Mulchers www.Barko.com/Mulchers Top-Ranked Online MBA University of Cincinnati Online MBA Excellence & Real-World Experience. businessonline.UC.edu/online-mba

Thanks Pidge F! Your deposits make this SamKat blog so much richer.

BANK ACCOUNT!!!      THIS IS AN AWESOME STORY........SOMETHING WE SHOULD ALL REMEMBER.....     A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.     His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.     As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.     I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.     Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait..'     'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.     Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.          Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is  arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.     'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;     I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful  for the ones that do.     Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away.. Just for this time in my life..     Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.     So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!     Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.     I am still depositing.     'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:     1. Free your heart from hatred.     2. Free your mind from worries.     3. Live simply.     4. Give more.     5. Expect less.     Pass this message to 7 people except me. You will receive a miracle tomorrow.     Now, STOP! Did you hear what I just said. You WILL receive a miracle     Tomorrow.. So send it right now!     Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

What sins fell upon Jesus in our behalf? ... Thx Gabe &

Bob,

Before I forget to send it out ... here is the link and text from Bible Gateway

material that I quoted in tonight's teaching.  Since others also asked about it,

maybe you could send out over your distribution list.

Gabe

http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/ransom-for-many/Chapter-24-Mission-accomplished-Mark-15-33-47

This raises the question again, Why? Why is Jesus, the perfect one, under judgement? Why is it falling on him? It is because, thirdly, Jesus’ mission paid for our sin. The darkness of judgement and wrath which he endured was endured for us. Jesus is doing exactly what he explained in such simple words in 10:45; and this is the cost. The cost of the ransom is to take our judgement, our hell; to divert the wrath of God away from us and onto his own head. On the cross, Jesus takes our disastrous record of failure and rebellion onto himself. Jesus suffers in his humanity, as we have said; but it is only because Jesus is also divine, only because of the infinite strength of his divine nature, that he can bear this unimaginable weight. The Father looks at him, the pure and innocent one; and sees there the guilt of a billion sinful lives; and he holds the Son to account for them all. In these agonising hours, Jesus is a terrorist, a mass murderer, a rapist, a child abuser. He is an armed robber, a drug dealer, a gangster; and God’s wrath is poured out on him for all of these. Has our sin appeared yet in the list? Jesus has stolen, blasphemed, bribed, walked out on responsibilities, cheated in exams, envied the rich, looked down on the poor. God’s wrath is due for all of these too. Jesus has resented his parents, been infuriated by his children. He has left the truth half-said. He has talked behind people’s backs, dodged taxes, fiddled expenses, snapped in impatience, said one thing and done another, held grudges, failed to offer a kind word when he had the chance. Surely we recognise these sins; and for all these too, Jesus bears the unspeakable wrath of God. He has become sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

What sins fell upon Jesus in our behalf? ... Thx Gabe & Bob G!

Bob,

Before I forget to send it out ... here is the link and text from Bible Gateway

material that I quoted in tonight's teaching.  Since others also asked about it,

maybe you could send out over your distribution list.

Gabe

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/ransom-for-many/Chapter-24-Mission-accomplished-Mark-15-33-47

 

This raises the question again, Why? Why is Jesus, the perfect one, under judgement? Why is it falling on him? It is because, thirdly, Jesus’ mission paid for our sin. The darkness of judgement and wrath which he endured was endured for us. Jesus is doing exactly what he explained in such simple words in 10:45; and this is the cost. The cost of the ransom is to take our judgement, our hell; to divert the wrath of God away from us and onto his own head. On the cross, Jesus takes our disastrous record of failure and rebellion onto himself. Jesus suffers in his humanity, as we have said; but it is only because Jesus is also divine, only because of the infinite strength of his divine nature, that he can bear this unimaginable weight. The Father looks at him, the pure and innocent one; and sees there the guilt of a billion sinful lives; and he holds the Son to account for them all. In these agonising hours, Jesus is a terrorist, a mass murderer, a rapist, a child abuser. He is an armed robber, a drug dealer, a gangster; and God’s wrath is poured out on him for all of these. Has our sin appeared yet in the list? Jesus has stolen, blasphemed, bribed, walked out on responsibilities, cheated in exams, envied the rich, looked down on the poor. God’s wrath is due for all of these too. Jesus has resented his parents, been infuriated by his children. He has left the truth half-said. He has talked behind people’s backs, dodged taxes, fiddled expenses, snapped in impatience, said one thing and done another, held grudges, failed to offer a kind word when he had the chance. Surely we recognise these sins; and for all these too, Jesus bears the unspeakable wrath of God. He has become sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

I love you Sweetheart! ... Thx Lou F!

I Love you relationship

Hello!
A group of women were at a seminar on "How to live in a loving relationship with your husband."
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text theirhusband: "I love you, sweetheart."

The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.

Here are some of the replies:
1.   Who is this?
2.   Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3.   I love you too.
4.   What now?  Did you crash the car again?
5.   I don't understand what you mean?
6.   What did you do now?
7.   ?!?
8.   Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9.   Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she??