Senior funnies ... Thx Paul C!

Subject: Fw: Fwd: For old folks 

 

:This was my laugh for the day..........:-)

 

 

Garage Door. The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing His zipper was down and his fly area wide open.  His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled  by the question.    As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'   He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'    She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires..     Two elderly gentlemen   from a retirement center were sitting On a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years Old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'   Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'   'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'   'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I t hink I just wet my pants.' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:  'So I hear you're getting married?'  'Yep!'  'Do I know her?'  'Nope!'  'This woman, is she good looking?'  'Not really.'  'Is she a good cook?'  'Naw, she can't cook too well.'  'Does she have lots of money?'  'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'   'Well, then, is she good in bed?'  'I don't know.'  'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'  'Because she can still drive!'    Three   old guys   are out walking.   First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'   Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'   Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..' A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'  'Really,' answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?'  ' Twelve thirty..'    Morris   , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.   A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.   A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'   Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''   The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. . ..!  A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.  The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'  'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'  Now, before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh.

Reagan's final words ... Thx Lyle S!

Fwd: "Reagan's Final Words..." 

 

I don't know whether you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you probably noticed that Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.

   
 

President Ronald Reagan, who never missed a chance for a good  one-liner, raised his head up out of his casket and exclaimed...   
 

"I see that the Clintons are finally sleeping together."

 

 

Dukha Tribe ... Thx Judi C!

It is pretty hard to realize there are people like this living in the same world we live in. They are to be admired.

 

  A Photographer Visited A Lost Mongolian Tribe. These Photos Are Stunning

 

Human civilization has come a long way since the early days of our species. Rising out of caves and undeveloped lands, humans have built cities and homes that the early generations could never have imagined.

The widespread growth of globalization has made it harder for historic cultures to be preserved. This is what makes

​​

the Dukha people of Mongolia so fascinating and amazing. The nomadic tribe has lived in the same region for centuries. During that time, they developed a special relationship with the wild animals. In fact, this relationship is so amazing it will leave you in awe.

Fortunately for us, photographer Hamid Sardar-Afkhami recently visited this tribe and documented what he saw through a series of stunning photographs.

Through their unique culture, the Dukha people have developed a unique relationship with neighboring reindeer. They use them as means of transportation over the treacherous terrain they call home.

Children are taught how to train a reindeer at an early age.

The reindeer are docile and gentle companions, even to the smallest of Dukha children.

This young girl prepares to clean and bathe a reindeer baby.

The Dukha are also known as the “Tsaatan,” a term that means “reindeer herder.”

These days, there are only roughly 44 Dukha families left. This totals 200-400 people. The reindeer population is diminishing as well.

The Dukha primarily survive off of the tourist industry. People visit and pay money for performances, crafts, and of course, reindeer rides.

They don’t just train reindeer. They also train wolves!

The Dukha hunt small woodland animals like rabbits. This earns them about two US dollars.

The Dukha also train golden eagles to aid in their hunting.

Eagle hunting is considered a privilege. Those who are able to do it are well respected by the tribe.

The Dukha believe they have a spiritual connection with all animals.

The connection allows them to feel at home in nature and maintain their culture despite the growing influence of the outside world.

It’s breathtaking to see the Dukha tribe and their relationship with the natural world. The way they’ve preserved their way of life is just incredible.

Please SHARE the Dukha tribe’s culture with your friends and family.

New currency law $ will be replaced ... FATCA ... We suffer mightily from o's doings!

The Crux

Join 75,000+ FREE subscribers!

New Currency Law Now in Effect—Could Be Devastating for Anyone Holding U.S. Dollars

04.02.2015     BY MIKE PALMER, STANSBERRY RESEARCH

---

Hidden within H.R. Bill #2847, is a little-known provision known as “FATCA.”

The first part of this law went into effect last year. The rest of it will roll out, piece by piece, through the end of 2018.

Few Americans have any clue about what this is—but FATCA actually stands for the “Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act.”

Like many problematic pieces of legislation, this one sounds innocent enough.

But it has major repercussions—which could expedite a worldwide flight from the U.S. dollar and ultimately result in billions in potential losses for U.S. citizens.

RELATED: The #1 way to protect yourself when the U.S. dollar collapses

For one, this law means any institution that deals with U.S. dollars has to now comply with the IRS… which means many institutions could essentially stop dealing with U.S. dollars.

For another, this law makes it increasingly difficult, if not impossible, for the average American to get some of his money out of U.S. dollars, and into more stable currencies via foreign banks.

Already, we’ve seen two of the largest banks in the world, JP Morgan Chase and HSBC, set all sorts of new rules and regulations surrounding international wire transfers and how you can get your cash out of the bank. Many small banks have reportedly followed suit.

We’ve heard several reports already of banks now refusing to accept American citizens’ deposits. And this trend is likely to accelerate rapidly in the months to come.

But most importantly, this law may signify that a true currency crisis is much closer than most people think in America.

This new law is a clear example of what are known as “Capital Controls.” And this is exactly what broke and desperate governments do when they know the value of their currency is about to collapse.

We’ve seen governments around the globe pull these stunts over and over again… right before a currency devaluation or collapse.

And now it’s happening right here, in the United States of America.

Porter Stansberry, the founder of a Baltimore-based financial research firm says:

“The same financial problems I’ve been tracking from bank to bank and from company to company for the last six years have now found their way into the U.S. Treasury. What it means is critically important to every American.”

RECOMMENDED: How Financial Expert Porter Stansberry is Protecting His Own Family from a Currency Crisis in America

Stansberry continues: “The next phase in this crisis will threaten our very way of life. The savings of millions will be wiped out. This disaster will change your business and your work. It will dramatically affect your savings accounts, investments, and retirement.”

“It will change everything about your normal way of life: where you vacation… where you send your kids or grandkids to school… how and where you shop… the way you protect your family and home.”

Porter Stansberry and his research team have put together a full, written analysis of not only what they believe will happen next, but what you can do about it.

You can access this detailed analysis, free of charge, on their website, right here…